Terraria Chapter 107 (Patreon)

Not too long after Xayah and Rakan left after making plans with me to fuck with the upcoming Noxians. Syndra started waking up.

She groaned low and weakly as her eyes blurrily blinked as she took in the surroundings of the bed I had placed her onto in the middle of the forest were within.

"I see the sleeping princess has finally awoken," I said dryly as her eyes snapped to my form.

And for a moment she glowed with power as she built up steam in anger. And then as I raised an eyebrow she quite literally deflated in place.

"Why are you... No why am I still alive?" She questioned tiredly.

I gave her a queer look before I realized she was still so damned angsty. So I took a deep breath and spoke slowly as though I talking to a fool. "Syndra... I truly couldn't give a shit about your power, your potential, or even about Ionia itself. I am not from Ionia and I don't plan to spend more than a couple of months here at most." 

Her face twitched but I wasn't done as I kicked up a foot across my other knee as I said more with amusement. "Hell. The only reason I am here in Ionia is to throw hands with everyone of note. I have no interest in killing someone who doesn't deserve it."

There was a pause before Syndra spoke quietly. "I tried to kill you though... Don't I deserve it?" 

To which I chuckled and answered with a loud bellow of laughter. "Haha! A little bit of half-hearted murder is how my aunty... Sister-in-law trained me to beat mages like unwanted stepchildren." 

I shuddered as I felt the pain of saying aunty and Alfia's invisible sound magic smashing me through hills and meters into the ground like a fucking pancake for even suggesting that Alfia was an aunt instead of just a big sister.

Alfia was literally damn near forty years old! Even though she was going to live for a few centuries with her falna that didn't mean she could avoid anything that suggested she was over the age of thirty!

Anyway, I refocused on Syndra who definitely looked offended that I basically called her an unwanted stepchild. So I stood up with a chuckle escaping me as I spoke. "Whelp, you are alive. Your brain isn't internally hemorrhaging or whatever... So see ya later Syndra, I am going to fuck with the invading Noxian army." 

A buzz rang out as I teleported away from the flummoxed Syndra and I could only imagine what she had thought of our interactions.

A messenger comes, pisses her off, humiliates her, beats the tar out of her into unconsciousness, heals her, dumps her in a random ass bed, waits for her to wake up... Taunts her and then leaves.

With a series of teleports and some bursts of flying, in another half an hour I had found the Noxian invading party and I had a thought strike me. "Is this an actual full Noxian invasion? Or is this just a particularly large raiding force... And if it's just a raiding force. What are they raiding for?" I mused to myself as I used an invisibility potion to hide myself.

Using the invisibility potion I got into the Noxian army and I noticed rather quickly that my summoned World Eater's I used previously... Did a damned good number on the Noxian's as I noticed with some dark humor as all the bastards weren't standing on the ground.

They were all standing on anything they could get beneath their feet as they found out the hard way that the Eater of Worlds worms could tunnel through the earth as easily as a fish swimming through the water.

Knowing that the Noxian Champions had some strong senses I just shrugged and decided to cause as much mayhem as possible to fuck with them before Xayah and Rakan got over here to help me hopefully kill a Noxian champion.

Noxians were people I didn't mind killing in any case. You live a life of only strength mattering and being a super bandit. Then I will treat you as nothing but a monster.

And the thing about monsters... The only thing that mattered was the fact that they died just in general, there was no reason to get super complicated with it.

So I went to the army food stores, and then I liberally mixed in some nice lovely poison from my Flask of Poison made from Bee Stingers into the milled grain. From there, I went and added more poison to their stocks of medicine, the potions they had collected from the goodie bags they got from killing the Eater of Worlds.

I then went on to mix a fuck load more poison, and even the corrupted flesh from an Eye of Cthulhu into their water supply in order to make them hallucinate a fuck load should they begin drinking it.

And then from there I found their other major food stock that was clearly looted from the local area and with some quick use of magic I burned it the fuck down with all the cooks inside of it who were serving the fresh vegetables and gathered up meat.

Leaving only the tainted grains for stored-up food.

"Ok... I poisoned the water supply, burned down the fresh food along with poisoning the preserved food... Now to start leaving landmines in their path of retreat and advancement. Then I will start assassinating officers directly." I spoke to myself as I got back to work with an evil smile.

As this was a lot more interesting than hiding in a bunker inside the dungeon and exploiting the pissed-off dungeon as I cheat using my unbreakable terraria blocks.