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Director Piggot sat in her office with all its security features activated as she joined the conference that had been called for her cities latest major annoyance.

Emily Piggot shifted in pain as her side ached as her broken kidneys hadn't been on dyalisis for several hours due to Jake Bariss or as he went by 'Menagerie' and his latest tantrum that resulted in the deaths of the Merchant cape leadership and dozens more in unpowered casualties.

But Piggots form was ignored as already just coming into the call it was quiet as the Chief Director Costa Brown entered the video call with her stoic face turned into a slight frown. "Director Piggot, what measures are being undertaken to apprehend the Villain Menagerie for him to be taken to the Birdcage." 

With no change in her flat expression, Piggot said flatly. "At the moment all available man power is looking for him, with hotlines and a reward posted for information leading to his arrest. But with his ability to teleport and even phase through the ground and take any number of forms... We have no idea if he is some random rat in the sewers or he could literally be a bird flying inside of a supermarket for all we know."

It galled Piggot to be seen as so inept as dealing with the prior gangs before Jake arrived from whatever damned world he came from was impossible due to how outnumbered the PRT was. But now the public somehow got the completely wrong idea that the PRT tried pressganging a lost Case 53 in Menagerie and thats why he fled the PRT!

Head Director Costa Brown at hearing Piggot's words didn't even blink as she said flatly. "I see. Then in that case Watch Dog and its Thinker resources will help look into the case as well. But beyond that we will be discussing Menagerie's ultimate fate with our inability to logically be able to capture him to be imprisoned."

The thing was... If some capes had abilities that made them impossible to contain they would rightfully be executed. No matter their crimes, if someone like Strider, the worlds most powerful recongized teleporter decided to go on a killing spree, he would be given a Kill Order due to the PRT's inability to keep him under lock and key.

And Menagerie certainly fit that bill at this point.

"Menagerie is a destabilizing force in the criminal world now as with the eradication of the Archer's Bridge Merchants and the E-88 collapsing with only four out of their fifteen capes surviving his purge. Gangs from outside of Brockton Bay are moving scouts into the city to begin establishing new little fiefdoms in the power vacuum he has left behind." Costa Brown spoke before a ding rang out to all the Directors as an email was sent out.

As all the Directors obviously went to check the email Director Costa Brown said flatly. "As of now with our inability to map out Menagerie's actions due to his thinker and some stranger shielding we are assigning him a probabtionary Kill Order. If he does not comply and surrender himself over to Brockton Bay's PRT within 48 hours this Kill Order will go into effect." 

The Directors remained silent until a gruff and raspy voice that had been burn from years of smoking tabacco spoke up. "Dragon and Narhwal are considering offering membership in the Guild to him."

The Directors looked over at James Tagg who was in charge of several containment zones as he was working up to become a Director of his own city in time. But at his words, Head Director Costa Brown frowned deeper and said bluntly. "The Guild is an international organization. They will fold and retract any such offer when the kill order goes public."

But as though to counter her words a harsh bleep rang out that made everyone cringe at the harsh noise that rang out through the call before a crisp crackling noise rang out.

"Hello hello, testing here?" A voice spoke out and the Directors stilled as they went pale at hearing the 'familiar' voice that they had heard after catching snippets of his voice during his live streams.

"Menagerie... How did you break into this call?" Costa Brown demanded with a snarl but Menagerie didn't answer her as he coughed and spoke out.

-

'Man being able to listen to peoples calls is just awesome! No wonder the NSA love to do it so much haha.' I thought idly before I coughed and said. "Yeah, anyway fuck you Rebecca Costa Brown... No actually to be precise. Fuck you Alexandria. Maybe if you told good old Tessa to Path the road to getting the stick out of your time-locked ass maybe you could actually succeed in life."

The call was utterly silent as I watched as Costa Brown's face went still at my words and I smiled knowing that as a Blank with my general protections, I was safe from their bullshit Path to Victory nonsense due to my protections against scrying and other tomfoolery. But still just taunting the PRT wasn't why I was calling. 

"Anyway besides calling to let Piggot know that she is a fucking muppet as I already killed the Merchant leaders along with the Teeth scouts from Boston. I will be going on a hunt next for the Slaughterhouse 9 or dealing with Nilbog. I haven't quite decided yet." I explained.

After a moment the Director of Boston in... Something something Armstrong spoke up. "Why are you telling us this Menagerie? Shouldn't you be readying to hide from a Kill Order?"

I gave the Director a long look before I answered in honest amusement. "Because you all literally won't kill me. You all can't and won't even bother to properly try. If you 'civillian normals' actually tried to properly kill capes the vast majority of villains would be dead via an explosive sniper round going off in their heads as they strut down the streets as would-be kings."

Shaking my head I still had amusement in my voice but I continued on. "So! Even if I get a Kill Order, I have a question? Can I get the bounties on the Slaughterhouse or Alexandria... Can I expect you to actually protect them from me?" I asked slowly and painfully clearly so no one could miss hear me.

There was a moment of silence before Rebecca looked straight into her camera with a dark look in her eye as she said coldly. "No... No of course no. I am not Alexandria and even if I was, I wouldn't defend the Slaughterhouse 9." 

A laugh escaped me as I called out. "Good! Then have your people ready, as I will be hosting a subathon on my stream next as I wipe out the ABB and then I will be speedrunning the eradication of the Slaughterhouse 9 tomororow!"

And as I hung up the call but didn't disconnect as I wanted to hear what they were saying... I had a niggling thought that hit my mind. 'Am I going too far? Like is my actions the result of me getting turned into a furries dream and my lack of waifus was making me revert to a beast who only wanted to kill evil people?'

My thoughts were cut off as I pouted at the edgy mental train and I aggressively bit into some ice cream to soothe my woes of being the most unfortunate reincarnator who coudn't even get a waifu.

Comments

Laplase

Now I feel bad for this Jake. Maybe one of his forms like Polkia can let him go to another universe after he speedruns this one to look for some Waifu's because he honestly deserves it after this trainwreck.

Mioismoe

He should just turn in to Lopunny, that way he becomes the waifu he needs lol.

Austin Levy

No it's past time someone actually did something instead of playing superhero