Red Sonja (1985) (Patreon)

Sword and sandals this week ActionBabyz. The Boyz return to the Hyborian Age and have a nice little visit with RED SONJA. This type of movie is right in the sweet spot for the ABZ; the locations, sets and cast look amazing while the performances fucking suck. Neilsen and Schwarzenegger look incredible together but manage to be boring with their 63 minute play-fight (them tapping their swords together) that's supposed to be sexy? All the footage they had of Arnold/Kalidor, not Conan, is shamelessly hamfisted in to the final cut of this 89 minute movie that still feels long. Go watch the movie and listen to this episode, there's nothing left to say - you're all masters now. We can't teach you anymore, go pick out a sword. Don't worry, an unexplained ghost-princess will help you choose the right one.