doodle & thoughts (Patreon)

hey everyone, how are you? 🌸 Here's a doodle from a bit ago!

There's actually something I want to talk about ;; I've thought long and hard about how to properly return from hiatus. And tbh it's harder than I thought it would be after such a long time. I just need to post again, right? ... but not going to lie, it's difficult to step out of my nice protective bubble where no one expects anything from me.

Posting updates again will mean that „I'm back.“ But having a chronic illness changes a lot of things... and while it all works well in my bubble, I don't know how well it'll work when „it counts“, so I've noticed I'm getting a bit nervous. I don't need longer to draw a scene than before, but I have to stretch out the hours over days and weeks. It's a different approach and it requires more planning – a kind of planning that is suited for someone who needs a lot of rest. I have one comic task a day I want to get done. Sometimes I don't get to do the task, and that's okay, too, because on another day I might have enough energy to do two or three tasks! It's all about pacing and doing things at the right time. I'm really optimistic it will be alright, and I know when I apply the things I've learned so far it's possible to continue a huge project like this.

But of course I'm a bit worried about what happens once I update again. My readers are the most patient readers ever, and you have shown me this countless of times the past months! I don't take this for granted and that's why I really want to show you that I'm putting in an effort to keep a schedule once I'm back from hiatus, and I want to create pages that are worth waiting for.

For a second I even worried that some people might start to apply industry standards to me again (why only update once a month? etc). But after thinking more about it I noticed that my real worry is simply how I will react to those expectations once I'll face them again. And I can only know the answer if I start posting again and get to test it.....🥴

So the other day I spent a lot of time to really figure out what worries me about the situation and what has changed for me (for the better, too!), and I came to the conclusion that some of those doubts are old ones, and that I've outgrown them, and that there's no need to worry about them anymore. I have learned a lot and I've set some rules and boundaries for myself and I have a system I can fall back onto whenever I need it. I'll also stay away as well as I can from social media, I've noticed how good this is for myself and having new ideas and a more optimistic view on everything.

And I also know that having a buffer is the best thing I can do for myself!! ← that's what I'm focusing on right now to ease my restless feeling a little, so I get to be ahead of time

Soo yep, even though I'm really really excited about finally posting scenes for you again, I have to admit that it also comes with some doubts OTL But I think being scared of something sometimes just means you care deeply about something? And that's a good sign. It's important to me, and that's why I want to share the boys with others again, even though I'm a little scared of the uncertain right now.

As always, thank you so much for being so patient and your support. ily 💕

As for the current comic progress: I've started to line scene 48~
Scene 47 is good to go, but I'll keep it to myself for a few days longer for buffer reasons.

Once I start to post again, the plan is to have an update per month again.

Also, I'm currently preparing a short „previously on Ghost Lights“ summary! I think it will make it easier for everyone to pick up from where we left off again. I'll add the summary at the beginning of the updates for patreon and public, for those who need a memory refresher.