[MA] 255. Everyone and Their Mothers (Patreon)

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[A/N: I got this chapter written and reviewed just in time! \o/

Chapters this week: 1/3

Next chapter: Thursday]

Shen woke up three days later. He found Liya in the same place he had left her, but she wasn't brooding anymore. She was reading a thick tome and looked up as soon as he entered the living room.

"You were right," she said while closing the book and placing it on a side table. "I was a victim. I'm B-rank but still drow, and the drow can suffer to the point of dysfunctionality. Not seeing that is the same as saying the Triarchy is right in telling B-ranks to control our feelings, which I hate. I was blinded by pride. Thank you for helping me see reason."

Shen smiled. He wasn't upset at her ignoring him earlier, either. It was still part of Liya's process of dealing with what had happened to her.

He moved to the sofa he had sat on earlier, but Liya raised an eyebrow. "I was hoping we could sit closer this time?" She sounded almost unsure as she patted the seat beside her.

The cultivator chuckled. "You almost look afraid. Surely, I'm seeing things."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm much more insecure about what we have than I let on. I decided to be a little more forthcoming with my feelings, and you mocking me for that isn't pleasant."

"Sorry, sorry," he said as he sat beside her. He offered her his hand. She smiled and took it. "This is nice," he said. "It's a shame it won't happen again for a very long while."

Liya tensed for a moment, then relaxed and sighed. "You think we should end this?"

"What? Of course not. If people know about us, they won't believe we broke up even if we do. Whatever is coming will come."

"A change of plans, then?"

He nodded. "Yes. After the Summit, I'm thinking of leaving for the front lines to serve my required time. We should only see each other again after I reach B-rank or a hundred Standard years pass."

Liya raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you just say staying apart won't make us safer?"

"It will if the infinity-edgers aren't killed, and you join their camp—and I join the Primordial Bridge."

Liya already had something going with the infinity-edgers, and they had at least one true S-rank and a fake S-rank. They could probably protect her or at least escape if it came to it. It meant getting in whatever high-level politics was going on with the System Administrator, but it would be the safest bet.

As for Shen, the cthulhu had said he would let Shen be tested to join the Bridge after reaching C-rank. He hoped to achieve C-rank still in the Summit, but if he failed, he would only leave the frontlines after ranking up. He would visit it regardless of his rank because Guardians were required to serve there by law every once in a while, and he wanted to do it at least once before committing to any force. He had a feeling it would change his perspective on many things.

His plan, which came to him as soon as he woke up with a refreshed mind, was simple: use a strong backing to stop anyone who would use their almost-relationship as an excuse to deal with them. Anyone who had strong feelings on the matter would still come, but those wouldn't be stopped no matter what.

"I was thinking you could join the infinity-edgers with me," Liya said.

So, she also realized they needed strong backing.

Liya was likely also thinking of the drow race. If war against the Primordials was coming, the drow would have to join a stronger force, and the earlier joiners had a chance to better establish themselves.

"If you can, take humanity with you," he requested.

Maybe the infinity-edgers would be terrible masters, but from the little he understood of the mentioned Purge, survival would matter more than anything. It would be better for humankind to live as slaves than be exterminated. It was similar to the drow's situation so long ago.

Almost as importantly, times of strife made even stingy forces distribute resources for faster growth of their troops. It was better to waste it all than let it get into your enemies' hands. Humanity might even grow strong enough before the Purge to matter then. It was another reason for the drow to join a strong faction, too.

Liya raised an eyebrow. "I take it you really don't want to come with me?"

Shen shook his head. "I know very little about everything going on, but I know the Immortal Emperor was interested in the Bridge. I wonder why. Also, I want to grow away from your eyes. In my sleep, I recalled something disgusting that happened on Earth before the system came: grooming. I'm an adult, so it doesn't fit, but I don't want anyone ever accusing you of that. The more I experience, the more I'll grow and narrow the gap between us."

Liya had once said there was only so much one matured after they lived enough—both in time and experience. The multiverse was vast, and existence was very nuanced, but there were only so many perspectives to take when looking at the same thing. She was still growing, especially emotion-wise, but not as much as Shen was or would.

If her maturity was increasing at a craw, Shen was constantly sprinting. The Realization Impartation, especially, had given him turbo thrusters.

Liya smiled sadly. "I considered that, too. It makes sense. But I wish I could protect you."

He gave her an awkward smile. "That's marvelous to hear in a healthy relationship, but it only makes you look more like a groomer in this context."

Liya kept smiling, painedly this time. "It does, doesn't it?" She sighed and took her hand away from him. "I have been thinking about that, too. I'm constantly battling comfort and discomfort when it comes to our promise. I always let my feelings guide me, but the more I think about it, the more I believe it's a mistake. I want to make another change to our plans."

"Yes?"

"I'll wait for you, Shen, but I don't want you to wait for me."

That stunned him. He didn't even know what to say.

"Remember me," she continued softly. "Know I'm waiting for you. But also understand that I won't resent you if you find someone you believe is a better match for you. You have a mature mind for your age but haven't experienced enough. That is crucial. Go live your life. The multiverse is full of wonders and wonderful people you might get connected with."

What she proposed was similar to what they already had, but while subtle, the cut was clear. They wouldn't have an almost relationship anymore; they would be like childhood sweethearts with a vague promise to date in the distant future.

His mind told him it was sensible.

His heart hated it.

Shen replied, "But haven't we already agreed that splitting up won't make us safer?"

In fact, she had been the one to just question him when he said he would go to the front lines.

"It's not about safety," Liya replied. "It's about doing what we should have from the beginning. It became as clear as day after our conversation—before you went to sleep. You swallowed your feelings when you believed I said I would kill you. You did that for me. Now, we both should do this—not for you or me; for us."

The cultivator frowned. It wasn't making much sense. "We reached our almost-relationship agreement together. We both believed it was for the best."

Liya nodded. "And now I think we made a mistake," she insisted. "You mocked my fear earlier, but it's genuine. You pointed out my pride, and it was preventing me from ever voicing my insecurities. I'm B-rank, but when it comes to relationships, I'm not much different from a well-informed commoner."

Shen had no answer to that. Liya was feeling insecure?! Liya?!

No, seriously...

...LIYA?!

She continued, "What if you're with me only because I got to you first? What if you're sacrificing something better for me? What if you come to regret it later? I have lived enough to know you are a good match for me, but as you said yourself, your horizons are limited. When you said you wanted to grow away from me, I knew we must do this.

"If you still come to me in the end, I'll feel much more confident about us. Likewise, if you consider other relationships and still choose me, you will feel more confident about us. When you find me waiting as promised, you'll have proof I was being serious.

"It'll strengthen our relationship and make us happier.

"If you find someone else, just tell me, and I'll stop waiting. Come in person so we're sure there's no foul play; who knows how the System Administrator can mess with messages? Likewise, if I betray you and find someone else, I'll also come to find you to tell you the news. I know I won't betray your confidence, but I want you to be extra sure that I would at least tell you if I change my mind. Which, I repeat, I won't. I'll wait for you."

Their inexperience was showing in that conversation. All this could be seen beforehand and avoided. Yet, they had been too consumed by the moment to see reason.

Like two damn teenagers, they had ignored all signs and warnings and believed it would be different with them—because yes.

Now, doom was knocking, and they decided a little too late to do what they should have from the beginning.

No; Liya decided it. Perhaps even she didn't notice it, but it was further proof of the gap between them. It was also the final nail in the coffin for Shen to agree with her.

He disagreed with Earth's old culture that men should necessarily take the lead in relationships. Walking a Path bridged most of the differences between men and women. However, he didn't feel they were talking as equals. She was seeing things much more clearly than him.

Shen knew he would never be perfect and that companionship was also about being the strength for each other weaknesses—but he was useless. He had helped her as he might help Alicia. Shen and Liya didn't have what it took to go beyond friendship. Not yet. Not while his mind and experience were so much more limited than hers.

Heavens! He suddenly realized he might not even understand the torture Liya had gone through, even if she wanted to share it with him! How could he support and care for her like that?

"Can you really get killed for what we did?" Shen asked, feeling once more how useless he was.

Liya would be the one to pay for what they had almost done. Some would get disgusted at his decision to try something with someone much older than him, but almost everyone would see him as a victim. The idiots who would come for him because he was overreaching wouldn't be near as dangerous as the ones who would hunt Liya down.

"Yes," Liya replied. "It's not likely. We set many boundaries and obeyed them. Whoever bothers to investigate, despite my backing, will likely not kill me for that. Only a few will try to kill me if they have the chance."

Silence befell them for a while. Shen knew what he had to do but postponed it. He felt horrible, but this was obvious to everyone's advantage.

In the end, he sighed and said, "Very well. Wait for me, Liya. I'll look at all the beautiful women out there and return to you with the confirmation that none is you, and that's what matters—"

He stopped midway.

His words were hollow, and both knew that. He didn't have enough experience to claim Liya being Liya was everything that mattered to him. Their relationship had never reached that point.

It was an awful way of putting a semicolon in their history, and he hated himself for that.

Her sad smile crushed his heart as much as her words. "I appreciate the effort. We should leave. Staying alone and isolated won't be good."

"Don't worry about that. We'll have a good excuse. I need your help to change myself so fundamentally that I'm sure everyone and their mothers will be able to tell I was cultivating instead of doing whatever they are thinking."

"Oh?"

"Protect me," he said with a smile, closed his eyes, and took the final step.

Maybe he was a bit too quickly because he really, really didn't want to think about his feelings at this moment.

Everything he was connected, clicked, and evolved into a new whole.

The world became pain.

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