[MA] 115. Bathtub (Patreon)

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"I want to clarify some things for a peaceful coexistence," Lorain said. "I'll be frank with you, Mister Feng Shen. I don't like a superhuman with permission from aliens to kill whoever he wants, loose in my country."

She was a bit rude, but Shen understood where she came from. He saw country rulers as the leaders of big clans back in the Eternal Empire. He couldn't even begin to imagine his father being happy about aliens letting someone kill anyone they wanted in Feng Clan territory.

"The US doesn't bow to anyone," she said. "And yet, Congress did. They made you a foreign Diplomatic Agent, and I wanted to make sure you know where we'll draw the line."

"The Vienna Convention establishes the privileges of Diplomatic Agents," the General explained and looked at Shen's smartphone, still in the boy's hand. "You can google it."

"Don't believe everything you read," Lorain continued. "You have to obey our laws to the best of your ability, and you'll be watched closely. We don't want you killing people just because you feel like it. Talk to us first, and we can make many problems go away. But if we ever ask you to leave the territory, as we might ask other Diplomatic Agents, we want you to comply."

Shen took his phone and asked them how to write Vienna Convention and Diplomatic Agents. He was surprised at what he found. Diplomatic Agents could do almost anything they wanted with little to no consequence. They could get expelled—and that was it.

It felt like he was the representative of a powerful clan visiting a minor sect. They would rather not stand in his way because it would take them a lot of resources to deal with the consequences, so they were overly courteous and made his problems disappear. Making him happy would also decrease the chance of him going on a rampage in their territory.

Googling the Vienna Convention gave him an idea, and he asked the General how to write M4 carbine. The man was surprised at the request but complied. Shen briefly checked the Wikipedia page he found, and it confirmed the Major's words about him not being really on Shen's side.

As for the President's demand, Shen had no thoughts of going against mortal law unless needed. Being able to ask the powers-that-be to deal with annoying things for him sounded good. Finally, leaving a nation he was not wanted in was reasonable, too.

"That sounds acceptable, Miss Elizabeth Lorain," Shen agreed.

However, Shen wondered why they were treating him so well. Diplomatic Agents had privileges because both countries wanted that for their agents. Shen had no territory to speak of.

Cox had suggested some people wanted him dead or controlled instead. Alicia had said politicians were worse than lawyers.

What were they planning?

Lorain looked at MacArthur, who nodded and said, "We also want you to help train some troops."

"No," Shen refused at once.

It was one thing to train the very best Guardians of the entire world to help protect Earth. It was another to train troops of a specific nation that wasn't under his rule. He would not risk making the US better at killing him.

"We can pay you handsomely," the General insisted.

"That isn't negotiable."

Fortunately, the man changed the subject, "What about training to fight together against the Void?"

"That is acceptable," Shen replied.

It made sense for them to get used to each other before a real battle, as large-scale fights could get very chaotic. Many lives would be saved if everyone knew what they were supposed to do.

"We would also appreciate cooperation in dealing with hard rifts if any appear," the General continued. "We're willing to pay for the assistance, of course."

Shen nodded. "I would be open to discussing terms on a rift-to-rift basis."

He would obviously help with dangerous rifts for free—it was his duty to humanity—but they didn't need to know that.

Shen was against lying and misguiding people, but he was open to some harmless misguidance in negotiations like these. Those were the rules of the game; he was sure the other party would do the same at the very least.

"Good of you to mention discussing terms," Lorain interjected. "That is the next thing we want; an open communication channel going both ways."

"I imagine you're not saying I would have your personal number or requesting the same from me," Shen said. That could be annoying and invasive.

They nodded. After a quick exchange, the three agreed to have personal secretaries have each other's numbers. Shen had no one in that position for now, but the US leaders knew the number of the smartphone he was holding—which was officially given as a gift—and would use it for now.

"There's one last thing we want to discuss," General MacArthur said. "We were informed of your friendship with Alicia Winter. She is in Washington. Months ago, a law passed giving American Pioneers special status, privileges, and responsibilities. They will be trained by firefighters, policemen, rangers, and elite soldiers on emergency strategies and survival situations to maximize their readiness for whatever the Alliance has in store for Earth. We would gladly take you in too."

In all honesty, joining sounded good. Shen had never been taught such things, and he supposed it would be good for Earth if he could act the way mortals deemed the most effective in emergency situations. Survival tips also sounded great. If he understood rifts well, they would be portals to alien places, and Shen knew nothing about tracking, trapping, or similar skills.

However, his priority was Alicia's safety. "Is that why she didn't respond to my attempts to contact her?" he asked.

"Yes. The seven American Pioneers, you being the eighth as far as the Alliance is concerned, are currently going through many tests to determine their power and allow our training to perfectly fit their abilities rather than limiting them. Oh, and they are being paid for their time. The same benefit will be extended to you."

Shen guessed the same tests would make it easier for the US to kill those Pioneers if needed.

"What else is there to this law?" Shen asked.

"The training will officially take six months total, then they'll be free to leave if they want. However, we predict things might get chaotic in one month when rifts appear. We'll pack as much as we can in this period. No matter what happens, all American Pioneers are expected to answer emergency calls during and after the training. The same requirement doesn't extend to a foreign Diplomatic Agent, of course."

Shen saw a pattern in what they wanted from him: integrating him into American society without burdening him. The more he understood their culture and fit in, the more he would feel at home there, and the more likely he would help the US when needed.

They were nourishing a long-term relationship rather than trying to exploit or control him for short-term benefits. Shen had no country, and even if he looked Chinese or might be related to the Chinese cultivator, nothing bad would come from getting on his good side.

There was probably more to their actions, but that was the extent of what he could tell. As much as the Concept of War was helpful in any conflict situation, it was limited in these kinds of politics unrelated to actual war.

Shen nodded. "Then I'll join for now. However, I will not take part in any tests. And I will retaliate if I ever see anyone attempting to collect data on me under the guise of training."

And if he decided to leave at any moment, and Alicia wanted to come with him, they would do so. He would not have a follower of his held in any place against their will. There was only so far he was willing to go to obey the local laws.

"Speaking of which," Shen added, "Alicia is a follower and friend. I would be very, very upset if anything happened to her. I cannot stress enough how important her wellbeing is to me."

The President and the General exchanged a look. "We understand," MacArthur said. "Is there anything else you want from us?"

"Housing, information on the Chinese cultivator, and a private English teacher," he replied.

He needed money until the Alliance paid him for being a Guardian. Said wage was to be delivered monthly, and since he hadn't been paid yet, he guessed it would arrive after this first month was over. After that, he assumed he would be able to exchange Standard Coins for mortal money or pay directly using SC, but he was broke until then. Getting paid for joining the training would solve that issue. Theoretically, that same money could also be used to find a place to stay and hire an English teacher, but he found it more convenient to just ask for those things. At worst, they would deny his request.

"The training will include housing for now," the General said, "and I can find a soldier to teach you English. External housing can be discussed if you ever leave the training, which will take all your time."

Shen shook his head. "I need a place to call home, General MacArthur. A shelter in case I want to escape the world and have a moment for myself."

Shen had been killing and dealing with people for a long time now. Yet, before joining the tutorial, he used to stay in a library all day, isolated, talking to few people except his teacher and servants. The Alliance's changes to his mind and the things he had gone through had transformed him, but he felt the need to just lay on a bed and relax in silence for a while. He wanted a bed that he could call his, in a home that felt like home. Not in a coffin within an underground cave or in a room in the middle of the tutorial.

"Speaking of shelter," Lorain said, "you've become a celebrity. You might need protection to move around." She gave his armor a pointed look. "You're not exactly discreet."

Shen had seen some celebrities swarmed by fans on the Internet, but he didn't think that would happen to him. Even if it did, he only had to run. No one could get to him unless he allowed it.

"I'll be fine. Will I get what I asked?"

"We can get you a house, and the General already agreed to the teacher," the President said. "Information on China is classified. We can exchange it for training for our troops."

"Then it seems neither of us will get what we want," Shen replied.

"A pity," Lorain said emotionlessly. "Unless you have something else to discuss, this is a nice spot to part ways. It was a productive first meeting. We'll keep in touch to discuss details." She offered him her hand.

Shen shook it, then shook the General's. "Major Cox will bring you to the training facility in Washington," the man said.

Shen saw them go with a weird feeling.

Everything had happened so... fast. Cultivators discussed things over tea, and there were many protocols and niceties to be observed. Then again, the US was under martial law, so the two leaders likely had more important matters to attend to now that they got their pictures shaking Shen's hand and made a successful first contact. Also, there might be protocols involved that he simply wasn't aware of, so they had ditched them for his benefit.

The President and General entered two different helicopters and flew away quickly under the protection of a fleet of helicopters and fighter jets. The tanks and other ground vehicles stayed in place for now.

Shen returned to the humvee he had ridden. He sat on the rooftop beside the Major, who hadn't moved, and smoked a new cigarette.

"How did it go?" Cox asked.

"Fine," Shen said as he climbed the vehicle and sat down. "You're bringing me to Washington."

"Is that so?" he tapped the rooftop twice, and the humvee started moving as the driver hit the gas. "I was told that might happen. Things went better than I expected then."

The humvee made a large circuit around the ground troops and continued on the road.

"Major, I had this idea back there when they told me to google some information about the Vienna Convention," Shen said, raising his smartphone and showing the man a Wikipedia article about the M4 carbine. "There's data about mortal weaponry on the internet. A lot of it. Fisher never mentioned it because he was more worried about showing me how the US is terrible and teaching me how to use social media. I knew on an intellectual level how the internet has all sorts of information available for free, but it never occurred to me to search for these things, and you never mentioned it either."

Major Cox blew some smoke. "I told you I'm on America's side, not yours."

"Yes," Shen said, changing the page to an article on supersonic and hypersonic missiles. "You also lied to me. You said I would be able to escape the meeting with my speed."

"I didn't lie," the man replied. "If there was a meeting, you would be too close to our leaders for it to be feasible to kill you with advanced weaponry such as these. It would be another matter if it was a trap, but even then, I bet you have some hidden cards on your sleeve. I wasn't there, but I heard you didn't become the Rising Star just by running fast."

Shen didn't reply. The man had misguided him. Then again, War had forewarned Shen about that possibility.

"Can you be sincere in telling me how accurate online information about weaponry is, at least?" Shen asked.

"Very," the Major said and lay on the rooftop, looking at the darkening sky.

Shen shook his head. He felt attacked somewhat, yet the man was the soldier of a foreign power. It was expected for the Feng Clan's cultivators to keep the clan's well-being first. The man had done his job.

He spent the following time researching mortal weaponry. Cox indeed hadn't lied; most common weapons weren't a genuine danger to Shen, who could simply dodge them. Shen was too fast at over three thousand feet per second.

However, they could do damage if they hit him. Landmines and traps were especially dangerous. And some missiles could hit him no matter how fast he was—though he doubted they could change directions as fast as he could.

If they hit him, he would die; there was no way around it. Mortal explosives were just way too powerful for his current defenses. And if he was surrounded by enough weapons, he would be hard-pressed to dodge them all.

He needed to find a way to defend himself from direct hits at a distance; after all, even if he struck a missile with his spear, and supposing he cut it in half, he understood it would explode anyway.

'I should've asked for guns,' Shen thought. 'Or ammo, at least.'

Shen could try to affect incoming projectiles by throwing bullets at them. He wasn't sure how well it would go, but it would make him feel safer. Since he hadn't thought about that, he asked the humvee to stop and picked some big pebbles. He could throw them as fast as bullets from a carbine.

The obvious issue was that he didn't know if they wouldn't just disintegrate by flying at that speed. They were pebbles, not pieces of hard metal. They weren't aerodynamic either and were extra subjected to slowing down or changing direction due to the air resistance.

On the bright side, there was one specific test he hadn't made when the Major had shot him. Shen had used qi to strengthen his weapon while cutting bullets, but not his body while protecting himself. He hadn't wanted to show all his ability to the man.

He guessed it would at least make him immune to the M4 carbine shots. Any more than that could only be found through direct testing or battle.

Shen kept reading and thinking of ways to protect himself as the car moved.

= - = - =

About an hour later, they approached a big city.

"That is Houston," Majox Cox said as he sat up. "We'll fly the rest of the way to Washington."

"No," Shen refused.

He really wanted to fly, but he felt it would be too dangerous. He still didn't feel completely safe with the US, and now he knew they could just rig an airplane with explosives to get rid of him. From his understanding after his research, average air-to-air missiles were also faster and more precise than those targeting the surface. To make things worse, he couldn't maneuver well mid-air.

"We'll stay on this vehicle," Shen demanded, "and we'll not enter any city until we hit Washington." He felt the city would be relatively safe; it wasn't likely for the US to bomb their own capital.

"We don't have enough fuel for such a long trip," the Major countered.

"Then ask someone to bring some," Shen insisted.

Cox sighed, lay on the rooftop again, lit a new cigarette, and took a walkie-talkie from a pocket. "Change of plans," he said. "The Rising Star refused to fly. We'll cross the country in this shitty bathtub. I'll also need some packs of—"

He stopped talking when hundreds of fireballs and lightning bolts suddenly materialized not far from them, coming quickly in their direction.

[A/N: First contact with human society is done and over. It took longer than I wanted, but skimming through it would've been a disservice. Now we know where we stand.

Also, very hard to make someone as high as a President or a General seem believable, especially considering their goals. I think it went somewhat okay.]

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