The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0163 (Patreon)

EDWARD : It’s about time. This waiting for release business is for chumps. It’s been driving me insane.

HARVEY: Was that a joke?

EDWARD: Well, it takes one to know one.

OSWALD: I commend your devotion to learning how to be patient, Edward.

EDWARD: Like Harvey’s student loans, I’m sure it will pay off some day.

HARVEY: Wiseass.

OSWALD: Since your continued good behaviour was integral to your appointment, I appreciate that you haven’t made me regret my decision, Edward. I’d hate to see my newly elected position so unduly marred.

EDWARD: I’ll leave that job to Harvey. Wait, wait - if you’re about to hit me, permit me to take off my glasses.

HARVEY: You don’t shut up, we’ll break more than your fucking glasses.

EDWARD: Oh, it’s not from fear of breakage. It’s only so I don’t have to look at you.

(HARVEY snarls again; OSWALD laughs)

OSWALD: Simmer down, Harvey. I see you’re in fine fettle today, Edward. Bravo. We have a few minutes before the guards allow us to leave - if there’s anything else you need to do, do it now.

EDWARD: I suppose I should go see Jon. Give my notice, as t'were.

HARVEY: Yeah, better not forget your boyfriend.

EDWARD: No need for jealousy, Harvey - there’s enough of me for both of you. Or rather, all four of you.

HARVEY: What - that’s not -

(EDWARD laughs and walks away)

HARVEY: One of these days–

OSWALD: Let me guess. Right to the moon?

HARVEY: No, just gonna shoot him.

OSWALD: Not under my employ; you’re also going to have to learn patience. You give him too much to work with.

HARVEY: (sighs) Yeah. It’s tough; half of us wants to break every bone in his face.

OSWALD: And the other half?

HARVEY: Wants to flatten him with a truck.

OSWALD: (laughs) This is indeed going to be most entertaining.