Dr. Jonathan Crane, MD - Entry 043 (Patreon)

JOKER: I’m telling you, you’ve got the wrong guy! It’s a frame! A fix! A damn dirty cover-up!

GUARD: You gassed the city from on top of a parade float.

JOKER: Show me the proof! Where’s your evidence, QC? I’m innocent, guvnor!

GUARD: It was on live television.

JOKER: Oh yeah! That was me. I did that. Oooh! Do tell, has Jack Ryder stopped laughing yet?

GUARD: No.

JOKER: Outstanding!

(JOKER bursts out laughing. HARLEY is resisting)

HARLEY: Get yer paws off my man, creeps! Get yer paws off ME! I know my rights! Get yer hands where I can SEE ‘em!

(CRANE, walking by with his face in a clipboard, finally looks up)

CRANE: Oh. Hello, Harley.

HARLEY: (perky) Hi Jonny! (pause) Keep those mitts off me! I got yer badge number! I got ALL YER BADGE NUMBERS. YOU AIN’T HEARD THE LAST O’ THIS -

(Twin doors slam shut behind them)

JOKER: Oh, it’s good to be home!

EDWARD: Ah, I see the royal couple has arrived. Pray forgive that I don’t curtsy.

JOKER: Up yours, Riddle boy! HAHAHAHAHA!

HARLEY: Hi Eddie!

GUARD: SHUT UP DOWN THERE!

(Larger door slams shut)