Dr. Jonathan Crane, MD - Entry 040 (Patreon)

(music playing in CRANE’s truck)

CRANE: What are you doin’ here, Jon? Why d’you gotta keep pokin’ your nose in where it don’t belong? Puttin’ your neck out for what? Some asshole who wouldn’t piss on ya if you were on fire. (sigh) Since when did you start doin’ the right thing? No. This ain’t about right or wrong. You don’t get to set foot in my town and start layin’ down the law. You want your fearless world, Lucenzo? Take it from me. (drives)

Feels like I haven’t worn this in ages; missed it. Hm. It’s quiet. I’d have thought the GCPD’d be all over this place, I – (interrupted by the GCN music) Well, that’s never good.

RYDER: (over radio) This is Jack Ryder reporting on the scene in downtown Gotham City where the Joker is holding what appears to be… a parade. In a statement released earlier today, The Joker claimed this parade is intended to show the world, quote “Gotham is out of bounds”. As to what that means exactly, this reporter can’t say. What I can say, though, is it’s complete anarchy on the streets of Gotham tonight as police try desperately to restore order.

JOKER: (over radio) My dearest Gothamites! I guess we’re all here having a good time! Now it’s no secret that meanie Lex Luthor is ruining the party for us all, but let’s try to turn those frowns upside-down! Like I always say, laughter is the best medicine! (laughs)

RYDER: Is that...? Ladies and gentlemen, The Joker has begun venting gas into the streets. It’s (coughs) everywhere! Find a safe (coughs) heh… (maniacal laughter, static)

CRANE: (clicks off the radio) Well. That’s that then. (covers face with mask, inhales) Let’s finish this. (opens truck door, gets out)

(pig noises, flies)

CRANE: Thanks for the door, Bullock. Looks like I missed one hell of a party. (keys in code) 2 – 4 – 7 – 2. (door opens, flies buzz – then closes door. Takes the stairs down) Jesus. How many people are down here? Hey. (snaps fingers) No response. They’re just standin’ around like a bunch of damn zombies. Where’s Lucenzo? Cell. Cell. Cell. What’s this? Fratello… brother. (CRANE opens the door to look; whatever is in there rattles its chains and snorts, then notices him and starts snarling) Oh, shit. (runs out the door and closes it) That must be Pierro… at least it used to be. (weeping sounds) Wait. (whispers) Hey. 

WOMAN: Please… help me.

CRANE: (opens the door) No collar. Do you know the way out?

WOMAN: (murmurs agreement)

CRANE: Alright, just follow me. Just along here – ugh!

(WOMAN hits CRANE to the ground)

CRANE: The fuck you doin’?

(WOMAN hits him again)

CRANE: Shit.

(WOMAN hits him again)

CRANE: UGH! Anya. 

ANYA laughs.