The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0102 (Patreon)
Downloads
Content
EDWARD: Scatter44 asks: Mister Riddler, have you in recent times considered getting rid of Daniel Mockridge? He is quite rich so it might be best to do away with him before he hires an assassin to do away with you. And, anonymous asks: If you're so smart, why aren't you rich? And, an equally clever anonymous asks: If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
(laughs) Oh, very clever. For those who don't know the story behind those hilarious enquiries - let me tell you about a little company called Competitron. Competitron was a software company I worked for in my younger years; whilst in their employ, I created 'The Riddle of the Minotaur': a digital masterpiece which earned them millions of dollars. Millions of dollars which I would never see, because I was duped by fine print and had my employment terminated shortly after. I warned Mockridge that his greed was no match for my intellect, to which he asked: "If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?" A few years later, after I had become an established rogue, I heard that Wayne Enterprise was looking to purchase Competitron so that bleeding heart billionaire Bruce Wayne could bring employment to Gotham. How noble. This prompted me to strike against Mockridge: capturing him and making him a pawn in the grand scale, live-action remake of my classic puzzle. Unfortunately, this plot was thwarted, but the damage was done. Mockridge may his millions, but ask him when the last time he had a full night's rest was, and you'll see I came out victorious. So to answer your question, Scatter - I wouldn't dream of getting rid of him. He's protected by a group called Theseus Security - something of a cyber-protection agency that ensures I'm unable to learn his whereabouts and access his precious personal networks. What he hasn't quite clued in on however is that I own Theseus Security, and he is simply paying me semi-vast wodges of cash to leave him be. Cash I will continue to collect until I've earned my royalties, plus interest. Sometimes, a rather unpleasant riddle makes it onto his estate because well, nobody's perfect. And to my dear Anons: why aren't I rich? Because rich attracts attention. I prefer to be smart and comfortable. It makes it easier to get my beauty sleep.