The Riddler Speaks - Joker Time 03 (Patreon)

JOKER: Hello my beautiful Gothamites! And welcome to Joker and Eddie's Happy Happy Fun Time Show! Unfortunately, Eddie's decided to pass out - it's been a rough month for him. Wow. Already a month, and I've only posted one beating! I'm such a naughty host! The duties of an insane supervillain are many, and I'm only one man. So cut me some slack, people! Now, some questions found their way to my desk. Most of them are complaints that I was too rough with Riddles over there. I'd smack him around again, but I never do the same bit twice. Sorry. And to those who told me to hit him some more - nice try. Reverse psychology doesn't work on me. I beat the holy hell out of him for those - I hate when people try to get into my head. Anyhoo, let's answer some questions. Anonymous asks: Mr. Joker, since you are taking over what are you planning on doing to Eddie? I really don't care seeing as Edward isn't my favourite. While you, on the other hand, are my second favourite villain! What do you want to do to him? Do you think I could help you with your plans? ... Second favourite? You couldn't even LIE to me? Why don't you ask your number one favourite what I plan to do, since you love them so fucking much? Next. Anonymous is asking for a joke. Hm. Ooh, ooh I've got one. Anonymous walks into a bar. That I was holding. I then beat him to death with it! (hoots with laughter) A classic! Next. Thegoddesswater asks: Mr. J, is that the same crowbar you used on Boy Blunder Number Two? Do you wash it in between beatings? Ahh, Boy Blunder. It feels like only yesterday I turned him into meat putty. Unfortunately, it's not the same. I left that one with the Todd boy, seeing as they played so well together. This one's much prettier, though. But I never wash my crowbars - I just kinda wipe it on the ground. Especially if it gets... Brainy. Now, I love answering these little treats, but some people are still addressing their questions to Eddie! And I've decided, that I just can't have that, any more. So I'm going to do the only decent thing I can. I'm going to kill Edward Nygma. You heard it here first, people! I'm going to make this Halloween one to remember! Just before midnight on October 31st, I'm going to carve up Eddie like a pumpkin. I was gonna say turkey, but that's more of a Thanksgiving thing. Toodles! I've got plastic sheets to buy. Between you and me, I think Eddie's going to be a bleeder. 

(JOKER breaks into maniacal laughter)