The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0089 (Patreon)

EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Have you seen that guy with the green mohawk pretending to be you?

Oho, another one? I have to say, of the numerous Riddler impersonators I've seen over my career, I've never yet seen one with a green mohawk. I suppose I should applaud him for creativity. And then I should call the Iceberg and see who's running the book on his likely lifespan. You see, the reason I've seen so many would-be Riddlers is that, funnily enough, none of them seem to last very long. People look at my modus operandi and say, "oh I can do that!" Maybe some little man with a grudge wants to knock over the bank where he works, and thinks he can get away with it by pinning it on me. After all, what could be easier than putting on a green suit and asking a few questions, right? The Riddler takes a fall for his crime and he gets away with his next mortgage payment. He doesn't dare dress up like the Joker, no, not with his notorious dislike of people stealing his thunder. But our little man isn't afraid of yours truly; not really. Or sometimes, our would-be Riddler thinks he can do my job better than I can. He might be a thug: someone who takes a sadistic interest in torturing people. Or just a small mind that doesn't understand the point of the questions I ask. So he gets himself some green spandex, hires a few other thugs and decides to upgrade to a new level of crime. The best part? I almost never have to go after them myself. No, the meat grinder known as Gotham usually deals with impostors for me; shot, stabbed, blown up, or maybe killed by a badly planned death trap - which happens more often than you'd think. I've actually begun collecting the dossiers of the cases and they never fail to cheer me up. So if there is in fact a mohawked Riddler out there, anonymous, I'll be keeping an ear on the police scanner. How d'you think this one will end? Head trauma, I'm thinking. People see a head like that, they get the urge to... punctuate it.