The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0081 (Patreon)

EDWARD: Professorjervistetch asks: March Hare! It is so lovely to see that you've joined the big tea party! You're a bit late! Don't worry - I saved some for you!

Now here's a quandary - to believe, or not to believe? Am I to tell myself that the Mad Hatter, much like myself, has taken to the Internet for some unknown yet devious purpose? Or am I to choose the far more likely option? That the person who sent me this question is yet another of the bizarre role-players that the criminal element seems to attract? I think we all know what the answer is. However, I'll take a moment and pretend that I am in fact speaking to the real Mad Hatter; because you see, I still haven't forgotten that barrage of asinine "why is a raven like a writing desk" questions a while back. And, because it amuses me. You shouldn't be in this game, Tetch - you're a one-trick pony that should have been taken out and shot a long time ago. I have to tell myself that I'm speaking to the real thing, because honestly, who would choose to be you? You have one skill. One single, solitary ability that you've somehow managed to parlay into years of humiliations at the hands of the Batman. Your entire criminal personality grows out of an obsession with tea, and a book you clearly fail to understand; since the deeper satirical and mathematical themes of Alice in Wonderland are something that appear nowhere in your methodology or schemes. In short - no tea, thank you. I'm more of a coffee man, myself.