Modesty (Patreon)

Joel, a typical American businessman, had way too much to drink.

When Joel came to awareness, he was naked and laying down on a bed. Even though he was alone in a room he didn't recognize, he felt ashamed of being naked. Instinctively one hand flew to his crotch and the other across his chest.

Joel sat up on the bed and then draped his legs over the bed's side. His hands returned to covering his naked body as soon as he completed the maneuver.

Sitting up, Joel could view the bedroom more easily. He recognized the style. It was Mediterranean or more precisely, Middle Eastern. The walls were painted in a brown abstract print that contained many squares, diamonds, and triangles. Pendant lamps were hanging down from the ceiling giving the room a soft naturalistic illumination. The bed was surrounded by nightstands with drawers. There were accent chairs to sit upon as well as a mirrored closet that gave the room the illusion of a greater area. Joel knew instinctively that this was a room for a married couple.

Joel stood up and looked for something to wear. He was embarrassed to stay naked. Modesty forced him to keep his arms across his body in strategic locations. He walked up to the dresser on the far wall and opened the bottommost one. Somehow, he knew that what he was looking for would be there. He saw panties and bras in that drawer. They were all in white or nude colors. None of the undergarments had any sort of print on them. He selected a panty and a bra and then quickly put both on. It simply felt wrong to be naked for any length of time. He stepped into the panty and then put his arms through the straps of the bra. He fastened it in the back without thinking. It didn't occur to him to look for male-styled clothing. There was another dresser in the room on the far wall. He knew he shouldn't look for clothing in that drawer.

Joel closed the lingerie drawer and selected the drawer directly above it. He pulled out a white scarf, which he thought of as a hijab. He didn't put it on immediately though.

Walking over to the closet, he slid the mirrored door open and saw several dresses. Before selecting a dress, Joel retrieved a full slip from a hanger. He slipped it over his head, covering the bra and panty as well as most of his body. Joel never once questioned the apparel he was selecting. It was more important that he obscures his body than anything else.

Once wearing the slip, he didn't feel as self-conscious as before. He wasn't ashamed of his body; he just didn't think people should see it. Not even himself. Even now, he didn't like that the top of his shoulders as well as his hair was still exposed.

Joel selected a white floral dress with peach-colored flowers. It was in a modest style that would cover most of his body from his wrists to his ankles.

Joel pulled the dress over his head and let it settle into place. He effortlessly zipped it up the back and fastened the button on top. There was still a keyhole of skin on his back that could still be seen. He knew his hijab would hide that when he was done.

He didn't feel fully dressed until virtually every part of his body was covered, including his head.

He expertly wrapped the hijab around his head. The time it took to tie the hijab into place, took longer than it took to put on any two articles of clothes combined. When the hijab was properly fastened, it covered his entire head, as well as the top of his chest and the shoulders on his back. Only his face could be seen.

Joel completed his outfit with brown boots having thick heels and a tight belt around his waist. He didn't have the narrow waist of a woman, so he tightened the belt to make as much of an illusion of a narrow waist as possible.

His shoulders were too broad, and his waist was not narrow enough for a truly feminine shape. It didn't matter, he knew what he must do.

Only now that he was fully dressed, did he feel comfortable leaving the bedroom. Nothing about the house was familiar, but he navigated the house as if he had lived in this house for his entire lifetime.

Joel walked straight to the kitchen without hesitation. He passed by the front door, but never once thought of exiting the house. He bent down to a cabinet by the sink and fetched a tea kettle. He filled the kettle with water and turned on the burner for it to boil. As soon as one task was completed, he moved to the next one without a second thought. He knew just where to look to find a tray and several teacups.

Teacups, the tea kettle, a plate of bread, as well as sliced lemon, and a container with several sugar cubes were put on the tray. Joel carried the tray out the back door to the garden. He took several steps down the path. There was a man reading a newspaper. Joel stopped at the edge of the path. He knew he couldn't approach until he was given permission. He waited to be acknowledged.

The man looked up from the newspaper and gave a slight nod. Joel kept his head down to avoid eye contact. Joel approached the man. Joel did not say anything. He knew he mustn't. Joel knew that nothing happened in HIS presence without permission. A subtle change in body language indicated that Joel could serve the tea. The tea was poured and offered. Joel never looked at the man's face directly.

The man took the cup.

"Shukran lak habibaa," the man said. Joel knew what it meant. On the contrary, if the man would have said, "Thank You, My Love," in English, Joel wouldn't have understood a word. The man touched Joel's hand tenderly. Joel felt a great deal of satisfaction at that moment. That little touch would sustain Joel emotionally through the rest of the day.

Joel backed away, never turning his back on the man. He would fetch the used dishes at a later time.

Joel's life was completely gone. Everything had changed, his name, his gender, his apparel, his country, his culture, his purpose in life, his religion and even the language he spoke had all been replaced.

"Hubiy , hal tawadu 'an tandama 'iilay?" (My Love, would you like to join me?)

Joel wanted to run towards the man. But he knew he shouldn't. He walked toward the table and took a seat.  He sat and crossed his legs. He picked up a cup and poured himself a cup. Then he cut off a piece of bread. He couldn't be happier.

Photos by Pavel Danilyuk