Undercover: Fiona's Story Chapter4-7 (Patreon)

Chapter 4.

When Fiona met up with Tina again she brought some of her purchases.

"This will not do," Tina told her..

"Why?"

"I mean the stuff is nice, but it's too new.  You have to get something that looks lived in."

"How will I do that?"

"Go to a thrift store.  Maybe sure you buy stuff with some wear.  You should look like a typical little boy who just lives in his clothes.  Boys don't like anything new, they wear the same things over and over."

"I guess."

"I have an idea; you have to learn about boys.  I'm going to get you some jobs babysitting some.  This way you can watch what they do.  Better yet, I want you to be the best babysitter there is.  I want you to play with them.  I want you to start thinking that you aren't coming over to babysit, but that you are their friend and you have come over to play.  Can you do that?"

"Sure."

"I want you not to only learn how to play like a boy, but to teach yourself to enjoy playing."

"That'll be hard.  I'm not a boy, I'm not even a man."

"Do your best."

"Should I babysit in my kids' clothes?"

"No, of course not.  But once you are there, try and be a boy.  Watch what he does and join in.  Don't let him alone for a minute."

"I'll try."

"One other thing, you should learn all about the characters on your tees.  Watch the Mandalorian, anime, and Spider-man.  Get yourself a Nintendo and play the games.  The better you can imitate being a real kid, the better the disguise."

Chapter 5.

Fiona left the diner to buy more boys' clothing.  But this time she would buy used clothing from a thrift store.  She wanted the same type of stuff (at least on the same themes) as what she already had.  She didn't want to have to learn even more new things.  Like a kid in grade school, she now had homework.  Her homework would be to watch hours of boys' TV and videos.  She had to learn all about the Mandalorian and Pokémon and Spider-man.  Worse yet, she would have to learn to like those things or at least learn to pretend to like them.

"Which to start with?" Fiona thought.  "I guess the Mandalorian, it's on one of the Disney services? Isn't it?"

Fiona looked it up and found it.  She turned on the first episode of the first season and started to watch.  She looked for Baby Yoda.  "There he is, there he is!" she yelled when he made his first appearance.  She waited for the entire episode but never heard him referred to as 'Baby Yoda' or as 'Yoda' at all.  She watched to the end and then watched the next episode.  They still never mentioned his name, he was only known as "The Child".

During the first episode, Fiona's mind wandered a bit.  She thought about what Tina said, that she needed some more worn boys' apparel.  She decided that the way to make the clothes she bought seem morn was to wash them.  She got all her clothing and threw them into the washer.

"Wait I have an idea," she thought.

Fiona took all her clothes out of the washer before starting it and she rubbed them into the dirt in her backyard.  She used the hose to get them muddy.  Once all the garments were sufficiently dirty, she threw them back into the washer.  Put in more detergent than necessary and set the thing for maximum 'power' and hottest water.  She planned on washing them many times today.  She didn't care if the colors ran, that was the point.

After the third episode, she decided to start watching some Pokémon videos.  She found the official Pokémon YouTube Channel and started to watch short videos from there.  She tried to scroll down to find the first one and go from there.  When she started to see the icons for videos three years old, she decided to pick a short one.  She started with one entitled "Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us Teaser Trailer." It was only one minute 26 seconds long.  That seemed to be a place to start.

She clocked on the video.  She found the animation very detailed.  It looked like a painting, not just a video.  She wondered if all the videos were like this or if it was just because this is a movie.  Then is shifted to a less detailed style.  "What the hell?" Then it returned to the more detailed style again.  "Come on, be consistent!"

"Catch a Pokémon?" a character said.  Why do people catch Pokémon?  Are Pokémon slaves?  "But I don't know anything about Pokémon," the character said and Fiona agreed.

"We all got Pokémon on our side," another character said.  This is a famous one that Fiona knew.   It was that Pikachu character that is everywhere in Pokémon stories.

Then it ends with the announcer saying the name of the Movie, "Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us." It looks like it's supposed to be one of those life lesson movies they usually show to girls in the U.S.  Why do boys like this stuff?"  Looks like a friendship thing.  Have they been stealing ideas from the My Little Pony people?

"What should I do next? I guess watch a full episode: twenty-one minutes and fourteen seconds.  Let's watch this one.  It's called "Get the Show on the Road."

After several washes, she finally took the clothes out of the washer and threw them into the dryer.  It would be finished when the Pokémon episode was over.  The question then would be, should she get the dirty again and start the process over?

The cartoon video wasn't as detailed as the movie.  It starts with May who is ten years old. She says she is on her way to see her dad and his friend to get her beginner's Pokémon.  Pokémon seem to be slaves.  What are we teaching these kids?  They give slaves to children.  She says it in such a chipper voice.  She is going to begin her journey as a Pokémon trainer.  Is that a nice way of saying a slave master?  If this was for adults, would Pokémon be sex slaves? Probably.

All of a sudden, a monster, I guess that is a Pokémon appears out of nowhere and scares May.  She was on a bicycle.  She hits a tree!  That was only in the first 39 seconds.

Then as if nothing happened, she is back to riding her bike.  But she admits she doesn't like Pokémon.  I'll have to pretend I like them.  OMG.

"Oh, that was the cold open.  Now they have the actual theme opening.  OK, apparently this is Pokémon Advanced.  Maybe I should find Pokémon novice?"

"Now we are with Ash and that Pikachu thing.  It seems it is sick.  Who cares."  Two and a half minutes in, about nineteen minutes to go.

"They have to take it to the Pokémon center, but the town doesn't have one.  Ash has to call someone.  They send someone to help the damn Pokémon."

"Wait did that person call him Ash Ketchum? Ass Catch'em?  What are they teaching our kids."

"What is going on now, a professor type loses his footing falls off a hill onto some sort of other Pokémon, says this, "Hello, sorry for just dropping in on you Poochiana."  This was the animal that he just literally fell on.  It howls and two more appear.  Then the professor type says, "That isn't a friendly greeting, and it doesn't sound sad.  That means one thing...you're angry."  No shit Sherlock.  Then they attach him.  Is this for 10-year-olds or three-year-olds?

Now they are chasing him, and he says, “I'm Brilliant, Please, stop it.  Can we discuss it?" He is saying this to animals.  "Oh My God, why would anyone like this?"

Fiona watched the rest of this episode.  It seemed bad and wrong on so many levels.  Little did she know that when this was over, she would love this show more and any other.

Fiona got her clothes out of the drier.  She dirtied them all up all over again and washed them again.  Then she saw another episode of this Pokémon crap.

After several washings and dryings, Fiona's new clothes didn't look 'new' anymore.  But they weren't all that worn either.  She folded them and put them in a drawer.  She would have to go to a thrift store to get new used apparel.  She did the same things at the thrift store that she did at Macy's.  She looked for the same type of clothing.  She also stuck with Baby Yoda, Pokémon, and Spider-man tees.  She didn't want to have to start watching another kiddie program.  These were enough.

Chapter 6.

Fiona was home watching more boys' shows and rewashing her new apparel when Tina phoned.

"Hello, how is it going."

"Fine, I guess."

"Good, I found someone for you to babysit for."

"OK."

"He's a bright boy, eleven years old."

"So you want me to watch him? See what he does?"

"No, more than that.  I want you to play with him.  Do the things he does.  Watch his shows, play with his toys, eat what he eats.  I want you to be more like his friend on a playdate than his babysitter.  Don't let him get into any trouble where he can hurt himself but go right up to the edge.  Make him think you're the funniest babysitter he has.  If you do it right in time, he'll start to think of you as a friend."

"OK, what should I wear?"

"Not your boys' apparel, but loose clothing that is easy to move around with."

"When do I start?"

"I want you to start tomorrow."

Fiona spent the rest of the way watching her videos.  She liked Spider-man much better than Pokémon, not that she really liked that either.  But it made more sense.

Chapter 7.

"Hi, I'm Fiona, I'm here to babysit for your boy, Steve?"

Steve's mother took her in and showed her around.  Since Fiona was an adult, Steve's mother didn't go into the little details of babysitting.  She didn't give her a list of emergency numbers and whatnot.  Steve's mother assumed that Fiona could handle all that.

"Steve come down here!"

Steve complied.

"This is Mrs. Baughman.  She is going to be watching you while I'm away."

"Hello, Mrs. Baughman"

"You can call me Fi if you like."

"OK."

"I'm sure we are going to have lots of fun together."

"OK," Steve answered noncommittally.

Soon, Fiona and Steve were left alone.  Steve went to his room.  Fiona followed.

"What a cool room," Fiona said.  She tried to sound like she meant it.

She looked around, it was decorated like a boys' room should be.  It was messy as she expected.  She saw a poster of Pikachu on the wall with other posters.

"You like Pokémon?"

"Yeah."

"I like Pokémon too.  Have you seen the episode where Pikachu was sick, and he was discharging lightning?"

"I know that one."

"It was so exciting.  There were people, Team Rocket, who were after him.  But they helped Pikachu instead."

Steve knew all about the episode, he had seen it a few times.  "Yeah, they were stupid."

"There was also this girl, May.  I thought she was nice."

"I guess, but she didn't want to have a Pokémon."

They talked about Pokémon for a few minutes before Steve said, "You want to see my Pokémon stuff?"

"Yeah!" Fiona said with excitement she didn't feel.

Steve got out several Pokémon dolls and figures.

"Wow!"

Steve showed all of his toys to Fiona.  She seemed enthusiastic to see them all.  Soon they were playing with the Pokémon.  Fiona let Steve take the lead and just played along.  Fiona kept track of what he did and how he talked.  It didn't take long for Steve to think that Fiona was the best babysitter in the whole wide world.  They did the same things all day, not only playing and watching videos but also eating the same things.  They even roughhoused a little like two boys.  Fiona despite her age wasn't much bigger than Steve.

When Steve's mother returned home, she asked them both how did it go.

Fiona said, "It went well.  Steve was no trouble at all."

When she asked Steve, he told her enthusiastically, "Fi is the best.  We played all the time.  She's so much fun.  I wish all dumb girls were like this!"

"So, you want her to babysit again?"

"YEAH!"

"Seems like you are a big hit," Steve's mother said to Fiona.  "But I knew you would be.  You were highly recommended by Tina."

Fi became Steve's regular babysitter from that day forth.  She never said 'No' when asked.  She was learning how to act like a real boy every day.  It was odd that in order to see her husband she would have to learn this.  It was worth it though.

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