New Hobby: Digging Up Weeds with the Roots Left as Intact as Possible (Patreon)

We planted a replacement artichoke by our front door, and by "we" I mean "Matt" but I cleared away the weeds and watered it so if you're feeling generous then I suppose you could award us both equal credit. 

Starting about seven or eight years ago, whenever we moved, we would always plant an artichoke by our new front door. They regrow from what looks like nothing every year and I always look forward to seeing those first baby leaves poking up come spring time.

But this year, they... were running super late. Matt did a close examination and determined that some trash varmit gobbled up my poor, sweet front door artichoke >:O

I! Am!! SO!!! OFFENDED!!!!!!!

So, here I am, starting afresh. Sad to lose my old friend (you could say I’m a bit... artiCHOKEd up) and excited to watch this guy grow.

No name yet, but I’ll think of something.

It was a very yard-centric weekend, actually. Not by design. It just sorta worked out that way.

We did it. 

My sweet precious beetling babs, we moved them outside and I am not even exaggerating when I say that I was NOT OK with it. 

Like. Matt and I had both thought I was playing up how much apprehension I felt about transplanting my little seedlings outside, given what a devastating blow the great outdoors had delivered the previous batch. 

I was worried, but they’re just some fucking plants fer christsake, and surely I was just doing an exaggerated bit based on a minor feeling of legitimate concern. But. 

No. 

The beetlings started going in their outdoor soil and I got quieter and quieter. The thing that tipped me over into anger was when Matt transferred The Lovers to the garden bed, even though I had pointed them out specifically and said to not touch these two that are stuck together. I was gunna keep them inside and continue documenting their progress. I was pissed. But. You know? It’s done. It’s done. The second generation of outdoor beets are outdoors and the remainders are back inside. We’re moving forward. 

Matt DID take extra precaution after the mistake with The Lovers to be SUPER CAREFUL about Monsieur Sans Chapeau and Sir GumbleLeaf, so don’t worry, they are safe inside. And to Matt’s credit, he was sufficiently sorry for forgetting to keep an eye out for The Lovers, even though they look fucking identical to the rest of the plants surrounding them from above and his wife is a crazy person who is way over-invested in her vegetables that she has anthropomorphized. 

Listen. 

Marriage is about compromise. 

You enjoy the good bits and cohabitate with the challenging stuff. I’m a hypersensitive self-obsessed bipolar crazy lady with a minor case of OCD, a major case of PTSD, and I don’t know how to cook or drive, BUT I also give decent head, so it all sorta evens out in the wash.

There was a shocking amount of things we did this weekend, which is very unusual for us. Weekends are normally spent at home, but this Saturday and Sunday: we went to Claire's birthday party where I introduced him to Forest who I haven't seen since we graduated high school in 2002, I got a new handbound sketchbook from Ryan, we had breakfast at this tiny place near our house, Matt worked on clearing out the basement and planning out the climbing wall he wants to build down there, we did hella garden shit (as documented above), we had a spontaneous breakfast visit with Carlos' family on their final day in Portland before they returned to Puerto Rico (I gave his mama one of my little paper boxes with a candle shaped like a cactus inside, as thanks for when she let us stay at her house over a year ago, even though we do not speak each other's languages, not even a little, and at the time she gave us a novelty candle shaped like a beach in a split open coconut in lieu of us not being able to talk), I drew a bit, Meesh hung out with us yesterday evening, I cleaned the bathroom, Matt mopped the kitchen, and just now, literally just now, I had a sneaky wank while Matt is off picking up supplies for his project and then I laid down in a sunbeam on the floor until I just about fell asleep but then I got up so I could write about it for you here. 

This is what normal people feel like, I imagine. 

Just... glad to exist. 

Glad to have experienced this weekend.