Mr. Kipling's Cherry Bakewells (Patreon)

"Is there anything you want here that you can't get in the US?" my Mother-in-Law asked us several times in her thick French-Brtitish accent over the weeks leading up to our annual trip back to England. In the nine years that Matt has lived with me in Portland, he's only ever missed his weekly call to his family either when he's sick or traveling, but as long as he's able-bodied and has an internet connection, each Saturday or Sunday morning he video chats with his mom, who is typically already tucked into bed and winding down to sleep at the end of her day. 

"What are those little... those little frosting cakes? With the cherry on top?" I asked the first time, elbowing my way into frame even though, up till that point, it'd just been a catch up between Matt and Fabienne. 

"Ooh! Oh, ah... Bakewell! Cherry Bakewells."

"YEAH. I want THOSE again!!!" My Mother-in-Law laughed and Matt rolled his eyes, remembering my Bakewell Binge from last year. Over Matt's objections ("Baby, those are SO bad for you.") I made a note to remember their name this time, and brought it up in every weekly call before we flew back. 

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT WAS WAITING FOR ME WHEN I HAULED MY TRAVEL-WEARY, WAY-IN-THE-WRONG-TIME-ZONE, SELF INTO HER GUEST ROOM SEVERAL WEEKS LATER.

If you guessed "A six pack of Mr. Kipling's Cherry Bakewells" then you are wrong. 

................because she'd bought me two.

So, yes, that does mean I've been working my way through twelve disgustingly artificially flavored tiny trash cakes during my stay with the in-laws. 

And yes, I do feel very good about myself and my life decisions, so shove it, Matt.