October 29, penciling and inking (Patreon)

When I started OJST in April 2013, I knew I wanted to do a comic about consent. And over the last year and a half, the number one request I get from readers is to do a comic about consent. 

But here's the trouble with that: Consent is this thing that we all know how to call out when its been done wrong, but it's really hard to inform people how to do it right from the get-go. I mean, it sounds simple! Your partner needs to willingly agree to partake in the sexual activities you two are about do. HOW HARD CAN THAT BE. 

But life's not always starkly BLACK and WHITE. 

In my comic, I say that consent doesn't count if the consenter is under the influence, because their judgement is impaired-- just like you wouldn't trust them to drive your car safely or have them sign a legal contract, you shouldn't trust their intoxicated judgement. But my husband and I, we've had plenty of under-the-influence sex that was 100% consensual. Our first kiss, neither of us were sober and it was completely consensual, both in the moment and in retrospect later the next day after we'd slept off our buzzes. What am I supposed to say? Don't hook-up while you're under the influence except for when it really is ok? 

The way I'm approaching this comic is as a Complete Beginner's Guide to Consent for the reader to call upon while they're looking to hook up at a party with a rando. I'm gunna give the general guidelines and leave out the gray areas for now. I've only got six pages and just about 720 words to the basics on how to ask for consent, how to give it, and how to revoke it. There's only so much I can cover in that limited amount of space. 

Oh man, though. The screaming I'm going to get for not covering the gray. And the screaming I'll get for not covering everything I don't have space to include. Just... the internet screaming. Always. Haha, like the people who got mad that my comic on conception didn't cover in vitro fertilization (even though I opened the comic explaining that this comic was the precursor to explaining how contraception works, and before doing that subject I wanted everybody to understand how conception works in the first place. The people who are using contraception are typically not also using IVF, I would imagine) or that my comic on emergency contraception was "too pro-life" or how my advice to sexters to not include their faces in their naughty photos if that would have negative consequences for them was "FACE-SHAMING" and sex negative (YES, REALLY). My list of upset readers' complaints goes on and on and on. 

If people lose their shit at me over these fairly benign subjects, I can only imagine what's coming my way for covering such a sensitive subject as consent. 

But I think it's important. I think young people need to be told the basics. So I'll do the best I can and the semantics police and feminist theorists can rip it apart, but if it helps a few clueless kids start thinking about consent then that sounds ok to me.