10K wooooow ♡♡♡ (Patreon)

my youtube channel hit 10K subscribers !!! happy day happy dayyyyyyyy :D i wanted to say thank you, especially to my patrons, for supporting me always. i can't believe it's real. i grew up with youtube, and despite all it's flaws, i love the site so much ♡ i feel blessed that people want to click on my videos, hang out with me, listen to my ASMR, join my patreon, everything. i'm so grateful, and very proud of the channel that i built. i put endless time, effort, and love into this. numbers aren't everything, but 10K is so big i had to celebrate a little !! haha. i always told myself if i could earn 10K subs then I could really "make it", but a part of me doubted it could happen. but now we're here! tbh i'm a little intimidated by such a big number :P but i am so happy. 

i don't talk about my personal life much because it's sad. however i want to share some thoughts, because i was reflecting on how much all this means to me. my online community literally saved my life. i know what it's like to be unloved and alone; in fact a big reason i make ASMR is because i never want anyone to feel like i do. my relationship with my family was always bad, but it broke down for good in 2020 when my mother disowned me during a fit of rage. after that mess, i realized i had to get away from them if i ever wanted to be safe. i stopped answering my parents and siblings, and eventually blocked them all. my parents still wouldn't let me alone; they kept harassing me in other ways, even used my personal info to cancel my health insurance (if you are american u know especially how insane that is). but since moving to the PNW i feel like i've got a fresh start, and i'm relieved. and y'all were there with me, helping me through everything, even if u didn't know what was happening! knowing that there were people expecting to see me online gave me a lot of motivation to keep going, and it made me feel like people cared i existed. so thank you for the support, it really means the world. i cherish all of u :) onwards and upwards from here !!! ♡♡ ok that was a lot of sharing abt myself let's get back to the good stuff LOL.

i will be checkin in again with a patron-only video this weekend :) and so far, my new apt has been much, much quieter which makes me feel optimistic about filming here. i've got more space to take photos, and y'all are already seeing the results of that. and now that my channel hit 10k it's just good vibes all around!! hehehe. happy august, brighter days are ahead ~~

mel

also i seen a few of you messaged me that some of the old links are still broken - i will be resetting them/double checking them this week so please check back in a few days :) i think i probably just missed a few cause at the time i was fixing them it was a bit chaotic LOL.