Chrysalis Ch13: Those Who Pursue (pt1) (Patreon)

<- previous

           Light motes dance around Astraea as she sits alongside the reflecting pool. Delighted by her, they refract and incorporate themselves into her glow.  By contrast the rest of the Glade’s light is dim, unremarkable even, lantern light flickering to keep from being overtaken by shadow.  One of which L finds herself taking refuge in as she watches Astraea from a safe distance.

Seeing her, L is struck by an odd scent;  frosted dew and old bark.  It’s not a smell she had a moment ago, in fact it didn’t seem to be from the Glade at all.  It was more like a memory floating in from some deep distance. She watches as Astraea traces her hand over the water surface;  a gentle curve, swoop and return, swoop and return, rhythmic in its motion.  It draws her in,  the dancing reflections and golden light, spilling sparkling and splintering into a million tiny shards - glittering amber seeds that burst and blossom into -

L digs her nails into her arm,
   the sudden jolt of pain breaks the spell.

It’s just Astraea.  They’re just lights. And she’s still L.

           She releases her arm, leaving five angry red marks in their place. Steeling her courage, she makes her approach.
           “What do you want?" L blurts out.
           Astraea jumps, the motes scattering.   Getting quickly to her feet, Astraea brightens at the sight of L, but seeing L’s immediate hostile she fades back to the red, raw expression of spent tears.  Guiltily, she looks away.
            "I… just want to talk," the golden haired woman starts, words tumbling out of her. "I swear.  Just talk.  I’m not here to fight or, attack or DO anything.  I’m just here to talk wherever or… however you want.”
           L's wings lift in response, threatening.
           "I'm not leaving this room" she hisses.
           Astraea flinches.   “That’s fine of course, I wasn’t going to-”  she stops midway, then looks away again.  “There are things I need to tell you.  But if you’d rather I go, I can go.  I know you’re angry."
           L’s antennae twitch with outrage.  She goes to speak, but no words come out. She tries again but still nothing. Eventually her wings droop, and little curls of mist spin off in their wake.
           "No. Let's just get this over with."

           Astraea retakes her seat and gestures to the bit of stonework near to her. Instead L moves further down, sitting well out of arm’s reach, and stares daggers at Astraea.
           “Well?   Out with it then.” L says shortly.
           Astraea looks to the side awkwardly.  "I... I think I understand a bit better now. Why you're angry. Why things are going this way.  I just want to apologize for-"
           "Apologize?”  L barks in an exasperated laugh.  “A little late for that don’t you think?  Unless you can undo whatever you did to me in that bloody pool of yours.”
           Astraea is surprised.  “... you would trust me to help you with that?”
           “No.”  L bites, her wings flickering angrily.  “I’m being facetious.  I don’t want YOUR help with anything.”
           The two sit in awkward silence.
           L continues. "I'm under the Market's protection. You can’t touch me.”
           Astraea is confused, then newly hurt.
           "Is that why you sold your name?  To protect yourself… from me?"
           L hesitates. There's no reason to tell her the whole story.
           "Yes."  L lies.

It’s all she’s getting, she thinks.  She doesn’t even deserve to be asking her any of this.

Looking over to the stairwell leading to the Glade's entrance, L wonders aloud  "Is that how you found me?  Couldn’t say my name and put two and two together?"
           "I...!" Astraea starts. "Well yes, actually. We were trying to talk to your parents when-"
"You were what?" L panics,  jumping to her feet. Koi scatter and a few of the guests, including Cadogan and Grady, look her way.   Self consciously she retakes her seat, leaning forward in a venomous whisper.  "What did you do?"
"What did I do?" Astraea repeats, her voice pitching up in anger. "- We - were just trying to talk!  It’s your parents who attacked us. They beat Neith senseless, bound her in iron chains and sealed her in a salt circle!"
"You brought Neith?!" L cries, breathless, imagining the pair of vipers cutting through her parent’s foyer.  "Did you hurt my family?"
Astraea gasps. “Hurt your… what do you think I am?"
“Neith killed a stranger!  YOU vaporized an innocent bystander! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”  Astraea draws back as if L has struck her across the face.    L continues, a cold fury burning in her.  “So, apart from the rest of it, excuse me if I don't trust you around the people I care about!"
           The light motes around Astraea flicker and die.
           "... I... I'm sorry, L- I..." She starts, her voice breaking.  She looks down at the water, holding her arms around herself. "Your family they're... alright.   We didn’t hurt them.”

           The two sit together in awkward silence.

           “I truly did just come here to apologize, and to make sure you were safe."  Astraea continues, defeated.

           Something deep inside L moves.  Even now.  Even here, after what she’s done to her, how can she feel anything but resentment for this woman? And yet…

           "Well I'm safe." L says, softening.  Half-turned away from Astraea, she folds her wings around herself like a protective shell.  “No thanks to you.”
           Astraea looks into the pool, tracking the movements of the koi as they circle cautiously back, one by one. "I'm not used to this..." She admits, half to L and half to herself.   “None of this.  The Market.  London. Humans. We always talked about escaping the Ebony Wilds together, you and I, but it’s so much bigger and so much more confusing than I could have imagined.”
           She turns her attention back to L, meeting her gaze dead on.  "I know you… who you are now, you don’t remember the Ebony Wilds or me or any of that, but they aren't… like this. Everything there is stark, and fixed, unyielding.  I thought one day we would escape all that, come here and figure it all out together.   Who’d have thought it would have come out like this.”
           She glances up to the hotel above.   “I... hired a guide I thought could help. But I see now that was a mistake.  It's not an excuse, but, does it at least help explain some things?”  She looks up to her with a hint of desperation, little embers of light flickering at the ends of her hair as she looks up. “I truly was just trying to find someone I cared about.”

           “I…” L starts.  She rubs at her face, little afterimages of light dancing in her vision. Her throat feels scratchy, and a dull, steady pressure is growing behind her eyes. "Honestly… I don’t know.   Putting aside that you could be lying, or leaving something out, or adding something in… How the hell am I supposed to make sense of bloody anything right now?”  L gestures out to the Glade in exasperation. “My life is run by a cat! My boss has six arms! and you? YOU  were the one that forced this new body on me!”  She gestures to herself, irritated.
           "I... L I can HELP!” Astraea interjects, a desperate, manic light in her eyes. “I can explain things, I can tell you about Lyra. About us. About who you used to be, about-”
           “I’m not Lyra!”
           Astraea shuts up.
           L looks down into the water as movement catches her eye.   A koi, one single koi, has remained near her while the others flocked to her guest.
           “Im not Lyra.” she repeats, softer this time.  “Whatever plans you may have had with her… they aren’t with me.  We aren’t the same.”   She slips her hand into the pool, and the lone koi nibbles at her fingers.
           “I think she was in danger.”   Astraea says, urgency picking up in her voice.
           “From you?”  L interjects.  Astraea shakes her head.
           “Something else.”  Astraea continues, biting at her knuckle.  “I was hoping that… Lyra… might have left you some clues as to what it was.”
           “Have you considered she was running from you?”
           It was meant as a dig, and it finds its mark.  Astraea looks up with growing frustration.  "I know.”  She cuts, “I know you, and your parents, and the whole damn Market think that I'm the one after you. That I'm the threat here. I know everyone wants me gone and you to stay. I get it.  I understand.”
           She sits back, looking to the ceiling to keep her anger from spilling over too much.  “But there's something, pieces, I’m missing.”
           Leaning forward she counts on her fingers.  “Why did Lyra leave the wilds without me?  What did she do between then and when she fused with you?   If it was truly ME she was SO DESPERATE to escape from, then why the wait?  Why wait as long as she did to fuse with you?  And why such a desperate action?”
           Astraea looks back to L, genuinely at a loss. “None of it… makes any sense.”
           L thinks back to the note Lyra had left her.

Do no harm to the merchants. Do not cross the king, and do not trust the bookkeeper.

“You wouldn’t happen to keep books?”   L asks directly.
           Astraea looks at her, confused.   “... I … suppose I have a few.   Why?”  She leans forward, "L if there’s anything you can give me, any leads at all,  please, I’m begging you. Help me figure this out.  If not for my sake…." Astraea’s eyes drop back to her own reflection.  "Then for yours."
           She presses on.  “We should work together on this”

           L scans her, thinking over what she’s said.   She could be lying of course… but it doesn’t feel like she’s the bookkeeper Lyra was referring to.  And if not her… then who could she have been referring to?
           And what about her offer. She did know things about her after all. Things about Lyra and the Ebony Wilds.  What might some of that information mean for her now?  Was it worth the risk of maintaining ANY sort of contact with the Dryad?
L looks at her straight on.   A slight, pleading, hopeful look on her face.  The light tugs at her, whispering inviting promises that pull at something deep within her.   The scent of frosted dew and old bark, and glittering amber seeds.

           "I think you should leave." L whispers, her voice crackling. “Stay away from me.  I don’t want to see you again.”
           “Please, L… please I just-”
           "I have other guests to attend to."  L stands, her wings quivering.  “Is there anything I can get you before you go?”
L puts enough force on the last word to make Astraea flinch.
           The warmth goes out of the air as Astraea’s light dims. Her eyes well up, and she pushes the heels of her hands against them, forcing them away. When she speaks again, her voice is flat.
            "...okay. I'll go." Astraea says, looking at L in the reflection of the water. She reaches out to touch it, but as soon as her hand breaks the surface, it disappears.
           Astraea fumbles with something in her pocket.
           "... in... in case you ever need anything." Astraea struggles to get the sentence out, the light in her hair winking out entirely. She pulls a slim rectangle out of her pocket and sets it down on the pool ledge.
            "I'm truly sorry." She says, standing up, a few glimmering tears plopping on the floor.  "Goodbye, L."
           Astraea stands there, shaking, then spins and disappears into the crowd. It parts for her as she hurries away, but as it closes in her wake, L’s antennae catch the echoes of whispers. The ghosts of smothered laughter. A muffled sob.
           She stands there, listening to the footsteps fade, waiting for what feels like an eternity to be sure Astraea's really…

           Gone. It worked.
           It was over.  Just like that.

It’s heady and hollowing all at once. L scrubs at her face.
           She means to just… walk away… but she can't help but glance down. To get a look at whatever Astraea's left by the pool. L reaches down and picks it up, turning it over and over in her hands. It's a keycard.  With a room number on it.  She looks overhead, beyond the cave ceiling to the hotel waiting above.
           Something brushes against her leg, and she yelps, jolting away.
           "That was exquisite." The king purrs, slinking in and out the mist and twining around L’s ankles. "We see now what you meant by hurting the lady Astraea in ways we could not."
            "I - " L draws in, her hands shaking as she holds the key card.

           It would be so easy to throw it away.  It should be so easy to throw it away.
           It’s over, after all.

"...thanks, your Majesty." Her wings flick. Slowly. Like they can feel the weight of all the stone and earth and metal above them. L closes her eyes. She can still see the light in Astraea’s face as she offers to tell her…

           About her.
L’s hand closes around the card and it slips into her apron pocket.

           "Can I get anything for you, your Highness?"


continue reading ->

+++++++++++

Thanks for reading along!   
Be sure to check in Friday April 22nd to read
Ch13: The Pursued (pt2)