Bolt Up, Bosa Up (Chapter Three) (Patreon)

I know I previously announced that I'd be posting two chapters of this series at a time, but as the third chapter ended up longer than I expected, I'm electing to post this one on its own! Chapter four will follow later this month. For now, enjoy Joey's rude awakening!

Not for the first time in his life, Joey felt incredibly groggy as he started to wade his way back into consciousness. It had been much more common back in his college days but it wasn’t a complete rarity now that he was deeper in his twenties. The agitation caused by the coaching situation had prompted Joey to drink a little more regularly than he ordinarily might have, but the star athlete didn’t necessarily see that as something to be ashamed of. He was a grown man, he could make his own decisions.

It was the faint scent of lavender that first clued Joey into the fact that he was no longer in his own living room, a point that was further supported by the fact he was laying horizontally on a mattress rather than slumped over on the sofa. Even stranger though was that without even opening his eyes Joey could tell that he wasn’t even in his own bedroom. For one, the mattress wasn’t quite as comfortable as the one he’d spent nearly two-thousand bucks on ordering just a year prior, and for another, he wasn’t the type to keep anything in his bedroom that would radiate the floral fragrance that had greeted him upon his stirring.

A pair of possibilities formed in Joey’s mind as he finally forced his eyes open: either he had gotten more drunk than he realised and decided to hook up with Clarissa, one of the Chargers cheerleaders who he’d had some late night meetings with, or he’d been grabbed off the street by some creep who was going to keep him hostage for ransom. Maybe that second possibility was a bit of a stretch but it wasn’t enough to rule it out; his growing celebrity as one of the top defensive players in all of football had brought a number of overly-obsessed fans out of the woodwork. It was a miracle he hadn’t had to hit any of them with a restraining order yet - or with his sizable fists!

Once Joey’s eyes focused on the ceiling though he was able to rule out the first possibility, as the bland grey ceiling that was blemished by various dents and scratches was most definitely not the ceiling that he’d woken up to several times before. On the other hand, he also didn’t seem to be tied down to anything, so being held hostage also seemed to be ruled out as well - unless he had the world’s worst captor, of course. While Joey was already rather confused, that confusion would escalate dramatically as he pushed himself up into a seated position and the sheets fell down to his waist, revealing a skinny torso without any of the muscle definition that he had worked so hard on! His pecs, his abs, his perfect v-line… all of it was gone! Instead of his cobblestone abs was a flat surface and his bronze tan was replaced by a much paler complexion. His arms had experienced a similar fate, the powerful muscles decimated and leaving behind embarrassingly thin twigs.

Joey’s stomach performed an uncomfortable lurch, his heart skipped a beat and his throat tightened up, leaving him gasping and spluttering a moment later. With shaking hands Joey pushed the sheets off of his lower half and had to stop himself from letting out an audible whimper as he saw the damage that had been done to his powerful legs. His massive quads and bulging calves were stripped away, with the limbs much closer to twigs than the proud tree trunks they had been the night prior. Not only that but the boxer shorts (which were adorned with the Arizona Cardinals logo of all things) sat rather loosely around his waist and weren’t nearly as tight around his crotch as he’d have liked.

Swinging his legs out of the bed, Joey quickly scanned the unfamiliar room and identified an en-suite bathroom through a door that sat slightly ajar. The athlete focused on it with tunnel vision, bursting forth from the bed and scampering towards the bathroom, attempting to steel himself to see the full extent of the damage in the mirror. He was so unused to the much lighter frame he now had that he couldn’t even make it a few steps without almost tripping over his feet. Based on what he had already seen of his new self, it had been over a decade - perhaps even a decade and a half - since he had been so scrawny!

After finally making it into the en-suite (much smaller than the one attached to Joey’s own bedroom) and turning to look straight into the mirror, Joey could no longer stop himself from letting out a long string of furious curses in response to what he saw. It was so much worse than he had been anticipating. Not only had he been robbed of all of his muscles, but he didn’t even have his own face anymore! His square jawline, heavy brow and prominent nose were all gone, replaced by the much softer features of a younger man. There was no visible trace of the Bosa genes in him and that absolutely terrified the once-fearless athlete. If he wasn’t Joey Bosa anymore then just who the hell was he?!

Staring into the stranger’s face for several long seconds, Joey desperately attempted to think of some rational explanation. I’m still dreaming, right? No, not dreaming. I’m having a nightmare. This is just a nightmare, that’s all. He’d never had a dream that felt so real though, and even the old trick of pinching himself did nothing but leave a stinging pain in return. There was no jolting back to reality where he would wake up on his sofa and eventually forget about this strange dream, instead he remained right there in front of the mirror, staring into the terrified eyes of a younger man who had definitely never seen any action on the football field - or possibly not even any in the bedroom either, if Joey was being brutally honest.

Several long moments later Joey was finally able to drag himself away from the mirror and back into the room he’d awoken in. He hadn’t stopped to really look around before, but now that he did, it was easily identifiable as some college kid’s dorm room. It was a lot tidier than Joey’s own and decorated in a very different fashion, but there was no mistaking the plain and cheap furniture that was a trademark of any room in a dorm hall. The posters upon the walls and the various items on display gave Joey some idea about the kid that usually lived there, and the recognition of an Attack on Titan character bust on a shelf prompted a very brief smile. At least we’ve got something in common, he remarked, quickly identifying a number of other anime merchandise pieces that were scattered around the room.

More dominant than the anime merchandise were the various items adorned with the same logo that was on Joey’s boxer shorts, that of the Arizona Cardinals. He’d played the other team a number of times before and respected a good number of their players, but he certainly didn’t support them and evidently this kid was something of a die-hard fan. The sheer lack of muscularity had suggested to Joey that he was in the body of somebody who found no pride in exercise or sport, so the consistent presence of football in the decorations came as a pleasant surprise. Maybe I’ve got more in common with this kid than I thought…

It was that fleeting thought that brought a sudden realisation crashing to the front of Joey’s mind: if he was in this random college student’s body, was that same college student now in his? Was his body being operated by some complete stranger; somebody who could ruin his career and humiliate him in front of the whole world? Oh no, no, no, this is not good! Joey lept into action like the devil was on his tail, hunting desperately around the room for a cell phone. The thirty seconds he took to find it on charge at the foot of the bed felt like an hour, and he was sent into such a frenzy that his shaking hands managed to mistype his own phone number several times before he got it right.

For the next five minutes Joey waited impatiently on the end of the line but he was only successful in reaching his answerphone message. Each time he left a frantic message, pleading with whoever was in his body to contact him and help him resolve whatever bizarre circumstance they had found themselves into. After failing to make it through to his replacement (what a strange and uncomfortable thought that was), Joey decided to change tactics. Maybe he couldn’t get hold of whoever was currently operating his body, but he was confident that he’d be able to reach somebody who would be able to help him out: his baby brother Nick. Given their close bond, Joey knew that his brother never went anywhere without his cell phone within reach!

Just as he’d expected, the call connected in quick fashion, and Joey’s panic was momentarily soothed by the familiar sound of his brother’s voice, even when it was bluntly asking who was daring to bother him at such an early hour. “Nick, this is going to sound insane but I need you to trust me, this is Joey--”

“No it’s not. You don’t even sound like your balls have dropped yet,” Nick cut in, clear irritation in his tone. “Pretty lame attempt at a prank call, man. I dunno how you got this number but you better forget it before--”

“Nick, listen to me! I think I’ve swapped bodies with some kid in college. I know it sounds insane but-- hello? Nick? Are you there? Hello?” Joey knew that he’d have a difficult time convincing anyone of his predicament but he hadn’t anticipated his own brother to hang up on him in such a quick fashion! Sure, he knew that Nick was far less patient than he was, but if he’d listened for just a bit longer Joey would have been able to tell him stories that only he, Nick’s brother, could possibly know. It was still a stretch but not even Nick could be that obtuse, right?

Determined to make his brother believe him, Joey quickly redialed the other’s number and pressed the phone to his ear, only to be met by an ugly barrier in the form of an electronic voice informing him that his number had been blocked. The revelation was yet another metaphorical kick to the gut on a morning that had already ragdolled Joey’s emotions a number of times. He’d been awake all of fifteen minutes and he was already certain that this was going to go down as the worst day in his life. No amount of failed exams or terrible first dates would ever be able to match up to the sheer insanity of what he’d already endured within his short time of being awake.

With little else going for him, Joey decided that the only thing he could do next was to try and piece together exactly where he’d ended up and whose skin he was currently occupying. Those mysteries were both solved by the discovery of a student ID card attached to the end of a red lanyard. An unflattering image of the kid’s face captured in an awkward grimace was next to a name (Robin Cassler) and the crest of the University of Arizona. While Joey was thankful that he hadn’t ended up on the complete opposite coast, the location of the university and the dorm room he was currently occupying meant he was at least a nine hour drive away from his home in Los Angeles which was less than ideal. In fact, now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know if this kid could legally drive, so how the hell was he going to get across state lines to confront the real Robin Cassler, who was probably having the best morning of his life now that he was in the flesh of a professional football player?

“I bet he planned this,” Joey grumbled bitterly, wincing at the soft inflection of his current body’s voice. He’s a fan of football and anime? He probably scouted me out and did some voodoo shit so he could be me. While Joey didn’t exactly have any proof to support his ideas, he felt rather confident that he was on the right lines. What were the chances that he had randomly switched bodies with somebody who had the same main interests as him? Life was full of coincidences, sure, but this was a stretch too far. There was definitely malicious intent behind the body swap, he could feel it!

Before his investigation could continue any further though, Joey was started by a sudden loud knocking at the door to the dorm room. It sounded like a battering ram blasting against castle gates; the reverberations trickled through Joey and left him feeling strangely nervous. He scampered over to the door, still uncomfortable with how light his body now was, and glanced through the peephole to scout out his visitor. The young man on the other side was clearly an athlete, if his red-and-gold letterman jacket was anything to go by. From what Joey could see beneath that garment, the guy had a fairly well-muscled body too. It wouldn’t have matched up to Joey’s true form, sure, but given his massively diminished state at that current moment, he knew before even opening the door that the other man would tower over him.

Out of both curiosity and the desperate need for more answers about the young man whose body he had been switched into, Joey decided that his best course of action was to open the door. Although he traditionally wasn’t the type to get nervous, he couldn’t stop the slight shaking of his hands as he undid the lock and slowly pulled the door open. Once he had a better view of the visitor, Joey was struck by just how good looking the other man was, like he’d just stepped out of a magazine advertisement. Despite his obvious good looks, the jock didn’t carry himself with the arrogant swagger that Joey had seen from other genetically blessed guys. The other’s body language was open, with his hands shoved into his jean pockets, and there was even something sensitive about his expression as their eyes met.

“Robin, hey. How are you doing today?” the handsome stranger asked, words laced with concern. When Joey didn’t immediately respond (desperately trying to think of what he was supposed to say without raising concern or alarm), the jock continued: “Look, I just wanted to apologise for yesterday again. Max is an asshole and if it was up to me, he wouldn’t be on the team. The way he treats you is out of order and, uh, I guess I just didn’t want you thinking all us football jocks think and act like that.”

Considering he was unable to even assign a name to the handsome face of his visitor, Joey had serious doubts about his ability to hold a full conversation with the other, but he was still anxious to find out anything and everything he could about the real Robin Cassler. Evidently he wasn’t exactly close friends with this guy, and was being bullied by another football player named Max, but that was about as much as he had managed to glean from the conversation so far. “Uh, sure, thanks I guess,” he replied meekly, “He’s definitely an asshole but I won’t hold it against you, don’t worry about it.”

The stranger’s gaze moved past Joey then and he glanced into the room, taking in the various decorations on the shelves next to the bed. Much to Joey’s surprise, it wasn’t the football merchandise that provoked the small smile that spread on the other’s face but something else: “Hey, you like Attack on Titan? I had no idea, man. Me too!” Joey glanced back at the shelf where an action figure of one of the show’s Titans stood. “Are you a fan of the manga or just the anime?”

Okay, this is definitely not how I expected this conversation to go. Joey had considered himself to be something of an anomaly as a football player with a deep love of anime, but apparently he wasn’t quite as alone as he’d thought. Sure, he’d convinced some of his teammates to watch anime, but he’d never met another jock-type out in the wild who appreciated it without his involvement, and definitely not one who even knew Attack on Titan had originally been a manga series.

“Both, I like both,” he replied, turning back to face the guy who took up most of the doorway with his impressive muscular frame. Joey had already known the body he was trapped in was small, but being towered over by the other man made him feel weak and vulnerable too. It wasn’t a sensation he particularly liked, and it spurred him back towards finding a solution to his issue, which he couldn’t do while the other was present. “Um, not to be rude but I should, uh, be doing some schoolwork.”

The smile on the other man’s face faltered for a brief moment and when it returned, Joey detected that it was a little more forced than it had been before. “Oh. Sure, I guess I should let you get on with that,” the jock acquiesced, taking a step back and clearing his throat. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around then, maybe?”

“Uh, yeah. Maybe…” Joey paused for a moment, irritated by how awkward he felt in the other’s presence. What the hell was going on with him? “Anyway, um, bye.” Then, without waiting for a response, he quickly closed the door and did the locks back up. After a few moments, he heard the sounds of footsteps heading away from his door, and Joey finally allowed himself to relax. His heart was pounding in his chest and there was a strange fluttering in his stomach that he quickly put down to being the result of his nerves. He’d never been a drama kid or anything of the sort, so pretending to be another man (especially one he didn’t know anything about) wasn’t exactly in his comfort zone.

Returning to his hunt around the room, Joey soon uncovered a pile of sketchbooks and upon looking through them, was amazed by the quality of the work contained within. Whoever this Robin guy was, he had a real gift when it came to drawing, and his artwork looked like it was straight out of a manga. Some pieces were fanart while others appeared to be original creations, and Joey spent a good ten minutes flicking through the pages to admire the various items.

Joey’s next discovery was a laptop and he anticipated that it would probably hold a lot more information about Robin’s life. His cell phone had already revealed that he didn’t have any social media accounts or even any dating apps, but maybe he was the type to keep a digital diary? Yeah, as if I’d get that lucky. Indeed, even getting access to the laptop wasn’t simple, as he had to crack the kid’s password just to have access to his account. The password hint presented a frustrating enigma - “First Crush and Number” - and Joey had desperately searched around the room for anything that might serve as a suggestion. After finding a small collection of DVDs on a shelf, he tried the names of each of the primary actresses in addition to the movie’s year of release, but that didn’t seem to be getting him anywhere.

He was on the verge of giving up when his eyes caught sight of a Funko POP figure on the bedside table. It was of a football player in a Houston Texans uniform (a sharp contrast to the various Cardinals merchandise that the rest of the room was decorated with) and immediately the wheels in Joey’s mind began turning. He’d naturally assumed that he was in the body of a straight guy because he was straight, but what if that wasn’t the case? Ignoring how dry his throat felt all of a sudden, Joey picked up the figurine and inspected it closely to identify the player it was supposed to represent. Then, with a strange knot in his stomach, he returned to the laptop and typed out his next guess: jjwatt99.

As the laptop began loading up Robin’s account, Joey experienced a mixed bag of emotions: relief at finally achieving access to the laptop but also a slight dismay at the discovery that not only was he in the body of a man physically weaker than him, but also one who happened to be gay. The thought of what the real Robin might dare to do with Joey’s body terrified him… what if his teammates ended up believing he was gay? Hell, what would Nick think if it reached his ears?

Doing his best to worry about things that were actually still in his control, Joey busied himself searching through the various folders and files that were saved on the laptop. His hope of Robin keeping a digital diary led to nothing, but he did manage to find a college application that detailed the younger man’s high school career and achievements. There also seemed to be a number of creative writing pieces saved in the folder “TF Writing” (what TF stood for, Joey was none the wiser) but they didn’t seem to provide any of the information he was searching for so Joey left the folder alone without reading more than the first few lines of a handful of documents.

The first thing that really gave Joey pause was when he began navigating through the picture folders. There were very few pictures of Robin in social environments but a small number featured the kid with an older man who dwarfed him in size and musculature. Given the relaxed nature of their posing around each other, Joey quickly summarised that the man was likely Robin’s father, but he was still rather fascinated by the discovery. Robin’s dad appeared to be a through-and-through jock and he’d produced a son about as scrawny as could be, with minimal similarities between them… was Robin adopted?

Clicking through to the next folder, Joey instinctively let out a noise that was somewhere between a yelp of surprise and a groan of dismay. The folder was populated by hundreds of images all featuring similar content: muscular men wearing either football gear or very little at all. A good number of the pictures were of JJ Watt, but Joey soon spied the likes of Julian Edelman, Odell Beckham Jr and Travis Kelce. Fuelled on by morbid curiosity, Joey scrolled through the folder and was eventually met by the ultimate surprise: there were several images of him and Nick from a workout the previous year, where they’d gotten so hot that they’d stripped out of their shirts. The wheels in Joey’s mind began to turn as he searched for the reason why Robin would have such images saved, and a shiver ran down his spine as he considered the most likely story…

Before he could get too worked up about the thought of being in the body of someone who had previously jerked off to images of him and his brother, Joey was once again caught off guard by a thundering impact on the door. “Class is in ten minutes, you better have your ass in gear!” a female voice called from the other side. “Quit beating your meat to that Watt guy and let’s get moving!”

Oh fuck, oh fuck. His conflicted feelings about the images he’d discovered on the laptop were quickly forgotten as Joey attempted to work out what he should do. It wasn’t as if he could actually go to class in Robin’s place, right? He had more important things to do; he had to try and get hold of someone who could help him! As a fresh round of knocking started, Joey’s anxiety spiked to an all-time high and before he could put any thought into what he was saying, he called out a response: “Give me a minute!” It seemed like Joey had little choice but to simply go along with what was expected of Robin. Perhaps he’d be able to learn more about the other man and how he’d managed the impossible feat of stealing Joey’s body away from him. He wouldn’t enjoy it but what other choice did he have?