Wrestler In A Tuxedo (Patreon)

Based on this prompt, as voted for by patrons in this poll!

Colin had to stifle a laugh when the man in his store announced that he was a professional wrestler in urgent need of a tuxedo to attend a charity fundraiser that night. “Tuxes aren’t my usual thing,” the man - Sami, he introduced himself as - had admitted, cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment, “Believe it or not, I’m used to being a bit less covered up.” Colin could imagine it already - the guy was clearly fit although he didn’t quite have the large rippling muscles that one might expect of an athlete. There was a softness to him that was actually rather cute in truth, although the tailor was still trying to get his head around the idea that anybody could proudly describe themselves as a ‘professional wrestler’. That wasn’t a profession, that was an unwillingness to grow out of childhood hobbies. Once upon a time Colin had liked wrestling too but it had lost its charm when he learned that it was all fake and the people involved were nothing more than glorified stuntmen. 

“Don’t worry, I can get you sorted with a rental no problem,” the tailor assured the other man with a wink and a smile, waving him over so he could take all the necessary measurements. As he did he quizzed Sami on his career achievements and had to hide the laughter that threatened to bubble forth when the man bemoaned his lack of championship opportunities in the past several years. Colin hadn’t realized that they took it so seriously - couldn’t they see how ridiculous it all was? Surely he wasn’t the only one to acknowledge that such buffoonery was hardly a fitting career for a grown man and it most certainly wasn’t sustainable. What did Sami expect to do if he got so injured that he could no longer compete?

Colin’s questions soon turned to address such matters and he immediately took notice of the grimace that spread across the wrestler’s face. “I guess commentary or something,” Sami mumbled, “Or some charity thing, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m going to go into business or anything!” He finished off with a gentle chuckle that Colin echoed, even as the cogs in his mind began to turn and a mischievous idea took shape. It was easy to justify - he’d be doing Sami a favour in the long run - and even easier to pull off considering his special set of talents when it came to the tailoring profession. He had a gift that very few could claim to have and that was that the garments he created could have transformative purposes, affecting both the body and mind and re-shaping the wearer to whatever Colin saw fit to make them.

Once all the measurements were taken Colin dismissed the man, recommending he return in a few hours so he’d have time to properly alter a garment to fit the other man perfectly. He even offered it at a discount price with a wink and a smile, keeping Sami in the dark about his true reasons for the discounted price. Seeing the change the other would endure upon donning the tuxedo would be more than enough payment for him. The fool even offered the money up front, which Colin gladly took and wished him well so he could get to work. He watched the broad-shouldered buffoon leave the store with a smile on his face and revelled in the fact that Sami had no idea what was coming for him when he returned to pick up the tuxedo.

Later...

Sami Zayn felt anxious as he waited for the nice tailor to fix up a tuxedo for him ready for the charity event he was supposed to be attending in… oh, about four hours. Yeah, he was cutting it fine but that wasn’t his fault in the slightest. 

No, the blame fell squarely on his best friend Kevin Owens for forgetting to actually tell him about the event they were supposed to be going to until the night before and even then he’d been so drunk that Sami had to wait for his best friend to sober up in the morning just to double check that he hadn’t been talking nonsense. It turned out that Kevin’s wife really was holding a charity benefit and as his best friend Sami was expected to show up and dressed in a tux to boot. Sometimes he wished that he was able to call Kevin out on his bullshit but he’d always been a little too much of a softie for his own good. Some had even dared to say he was too soft for a cutthroat industry like wrestling and there were moments when even Sami thought that maybe it was true. Maybe that was why he hadn’t had a championship run since his short time with the NXT Championship back in 2014.

He had mightily surprised by the tailor’s offer to cut him a discounted price especially considering the quick turnaround he’d need in order to make it to the function on time but who was he to look a gift-horse in the mouth? If anything it reassured him that there were still kind people in the world and that was always something he liked to see considering how cynical wrestling fans could be at times. It could create quite the negative atmosphere at times and although he did his best to be a positive person Sami sometimes struggled to deal with the frustrations that built up around his place in the wrestling industry and the fan response to the product. Occasionally he’d think about living a simpler life outside of the wrestling ring but as his conversation with Colin had exposed earlier that day he wasn’t sure he had too many other options. Wrestling had been his life since he was a teenager!

Returning to the formalwear store after three hours and six coffees, Sami was strangely nervous as he stepped through the threshold and shook the other man’s hand. Even as the tailor assured him that he’d finished the adjustments on the tuxedo to make it a perfect fit, the wrestler found himself on edge. There was just something different in the other man’s smile that caused him to hesitate, although with only an hour to get dressed and to the function he hardly had the time to slow down and think.

Accepting the tuxedo, shirt, tie and shoes from the other man, Sami moved into the privacy of the dressing room and stripped out of his casual clothes until he was only in the baggy pair of plaid boxers adorned by little icons of Garfield the cat. He’d never been one to take himself too seriously, something Kevin always teased him about.

Grabbing the trousers, he lifted them up over his legs and pulled the zipper shut. Much to his horror he found that the pant legs were an inch or two too long, swimming around his ankles like a kid trying on his older brother’s hand-me-downs. Reminding himself that he had little time to fuss over such minor inaccuracies, Sami forced himself to continue by pulling the crisp white shirt around his torso and filling the sleeves with his well-defined arms. The shirt fit much better than the pants, even if it hugged a little around his midsection and exposed some of the weight he had gained during his time out of the ring due to injury. 

Doing up the bowtie took some time but eventually Sami managed to get it looking presentable and followed up by fixing the cufflinks into place at the end of his shirt sleeves. The only things that remained were the black leather shoes which he slipped on and thankfully found fit perfectly around his size eleven feet and the suit jacket. Luck wasn’t quite on his side there either as it was especially tight around his torso and was stretched at the seams as he attempted to button it up at the front to hide the slight gut that his shirt seemed desperate to expose.

“How’s it going in there?” Colin’s voice called out from the other side of the curtain. Sami stared at himself in the dressing room mirror and inhaled sharply. It was so obvious that the suit didn’t fit him properly and it made him uncharacteristically mad. He was in half a mind to tear the curtain back and chew the tailor’s head off for making him waste both his time and money! The intrusive thought took Sami by surprise and he took a moment to calm himself down before mumbling an affirmative back to the other man.

Besides, the more he looked at his reflection the less ill-fitting the suit appeared to be. He must have been over-reacting to the tightness around his mid-section because it didn’t look all that bad at all and certainly not stretched out to the seams like he had thought at first. In fact it highlighted how trim and in-shape he was and he took a moment to admire just how well he’d slimmed down during his hiatus from the ring. Healthy eating and exercising every morning and evening before his meetings had done wonders for him. Wait, meetings? What meetings? His own memories seemed jumbled but Sami dismissed it as a side effect of the panic he felt at being late to the event that his best friend had established was very important to his whole family. Sami hated letting people down - even if they let him down all too regularly, he thought bitterly. Still, why could he remember standing at the head of the table and talking about trade deals like he was some sort of hot-shot businessman? Hadn’t he explicitly told Colin earlier that day that business was about the farthest thing from what he wanted to do with his life?

Closer inspection of his reflection revealed that there was no real issue with the pant length either and certainly no pooling of fabric around his ankles. Sami couldn’t understand how he’d been so wrong when the pants were clearly a perfect fit for his long slender legs just as Colin had promised him they would be. The tailor had never let him down in the past so why would he expect the other to make such a mishap now? That can’t be right, I haven’t been to this store before… have I? Sami seemed to remember visiting Colin for a variety of suits and tuxedos in the past but that couldn’t possibly be right. Why would he have visited the other in such a mad panic if he had fitting formal-wear at his luxury mansion home?

Looking deep into the eyes of his reflection Sami did his best to work his way through the maze of conflicting thoughts in his mind. As he did so, he took a moment to fix his hair, making sure the ebony strands were perfectly styled. It took him a long time every morning to get it looking perfect and it wasn’t uncommon for him to hire personal stylists when he was expected to make public appearances. Somebody of his stature had a responsibility to always look his best, both in the public eye and in the boardrooms that he worked in. He rubbed a hand over his square jawline, thankful that he’d opted to shave down his beard to mere stubble prior to the event. He couldn’t stand men who let their facial hair grow out too long - it made them look so unprofessional and there was nothing Sami loathed more than men who didn’t clean themselves up.

Actually, there was one thing he hated more than that and it was nicknames. For so long people had tried to call him ‘Sami’ and he absolutely loathed it. His name was Samuel and he insisted that people use it, even those closest to him like his family and romantic partners - of which he had many. Why would he settle for one woman when he could have many? Monogamy was a trap that only fools fell into and Samuel was most definitely not a fool, nor could anyone claim him to be. After all, how many fools could turn a failing business into a multi-million corporation and build up a personal empire in the process? 

Making sure that his Rolex watch was on display and that his bowtie was perfectly arranged, Samuel finally felt content with the image that was reflected in the mirror and stepped out of the dressing room. As expected Colin was stood right there, waiting eagerly for him with a bright smile on his face. “You look splendid, sir!” the tailor remarked. Samuel scoffed. Of course I do - when do I not? He was a beautiful specimen of a man and knew precisely what materials made him look good which was why he was always so quick to turn to Colin to craft him one-of-a-kind formal-wear for such occasions. As much as he was a disgusting faggot who clearly had the hots for Samuel, the other knew what he was doing when it came to designing suits which was the only reason Samuel continued to pay him for his services.

“Oh, sir! I was wondering if you saw last night’s wrestling show,” Colin exclaimed suddenly, catching the businessman by surprise. If the remark about how good Samuel looked had been silly then his next question was absolutely absurd. Why on earth would a self-respecting adult man like Samuel bother with anything as childish and silly as wrestling? In fact the mere suggestion actually made him rather angry and as he turned to face the other that rage was obvious on his face. Colin’s smile faltered before Samuel could even say a word. “My apologies, sir. I’ll be quiet now.”

“Yes, do be quiet. For your own good.” Shaking his head in disappointment, Samuel pulled a single fifty-dollar note out of his pocket and pressed it into the inferior man’s hands. “Your tip for the short notice,” he declared in clipped tones before brushing past Colin and exiting the store to find his limousine waiting. He was due to make a brief appearance at some charity event and then he’d be heading straight back to the office to make sure the paperwork on the upcoming deals had been properly completed. Unfortunately he couldn’t always trust his employees to do the job correctly and besides, he was itching to fire someone. Nothing gave him such a rush of power as seeing somebody’s livelihood crumble before his eyes - in fact he had even got off to it at time, particularly if he humiliated the employee by making them worship his feet before showing them the door. 

Cupping the thick bulge of his crotch as he spread out on the leather chairs of his personal limo, Samuel thought back to his tailor’s ridiculous question about wrestling. Why had it made him so angry? It was hard to locate why, all he knew was that the next time Colin dared say something so stupid he was going to find himself evicted from his own store. It was unwise to cross a man as powerful as Samuel and if the other had to find that out the hard way then so be it. It would be no sweat of Samuel’s back, that was for sure.