Must Have Been The Sun (Patreon)

"Get my name right then, I'm not Jerry. What the fuck kinda name is that?"

"My name is Jed, asshole. Would it help if I spelled it out for you? J, E, D. Understand?"

"I'm not being a dick, bro, you're just being a creep. I don't even know you so stop saying that we do!"

"Don't go giving me this 'best friends' shit now! I'd never be friends with a dweeb like you. Have you ever seen the inside of a gym - or, you know, the sun?"

"Nah, I never looked like you, dude. I definitely wasn't called Jerry either - that's a name for losers and look at me! Do you honestly think anybody would ever call me a loser? I've got muscles upon muscles!"

"If you honestly think it's possible for somebody to get buff and tanned in twenty minutes flat then you're flat out crazy. I thought you nerds were supposed to be smart, huh?"

"Besides, I'm not sure a pathetic little runt like you would ever even have a best friend. Was this just your way of getting my attention?"

"That's right, admit it. You just wanna get your hands all over this beautiful tanned body, don't you?"

"Yeah, you'd love feeling my pecs pop like this, wouldn't you? I bet that would get you off, wouldn't it?"

"Nah, no fuckin' way I'm letting you touch me. I don't care if Jerry was your best friend or boyfriend, you aren't anyone to me. I don't owe you shit!"

"Don't go cryin' now, dude. How pathetic do you wanna be!?"

"Tell you what, how about you get down on your knees and kiss my feet. Impress me enough and maybe I'll even let you call me Jerry... I'm not opposed to roleplaying, you've just gotta make it worth my time! After all, alpha studs like me shouldn't really waste our time on losers like you, not when we could be soakin' up those rays and showing off God's gifts!"