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Something weird has been going on in my gym ever since my wife brought in a Christmas tree to "make the place a little more festive". I'm personally not that big on the festive season but people didn't seem to mind it being there so I left it. After all I figured that it might help boost business if we made ourselves approachable or something. I dunno, my wife's so much better at this marketing stuff than me. I'm just here to help guys make some serious gains.

You might be wondering why I'm so suspicious of a Christmas tree of all things but I don't know what else can be blamed for what's going on with my regulars. There's a glazed look in their eyes and even though I know they're all committed to their routines, their muscle mass has increased at a simply impossible rate over the last week. That includes the regulars who - and this is meant as no slight against them - had twig-like limbs and had always existed at the bottom end of the popularity totem poll.

Feeling more than a little confused, I confided in my wife and only earned laughter in response. I should have expected as much because there was no doubt that I sounded crazy. Perhaps suggesting that the tree must have some magical or hypnotic qualities over my most regular attendees wasn't the best approach but I was struggling to make sense of what was going on. I needed a rational explanation but where would I even start?

The biggest trouble for me is that my own nephew has been working out quite regularly at my gym for the past few months. He was only nineteen and a little strapped for cash so I offered him a family discount which he was happy to accept. Over the past few days though, whenever I try to speak to him he stares at me with a glazed expression and simply nods. There's no recognition of our familial relationship at all and it's concerning to say the least.

Last night though, the CCTV caught something rather strange. At three in the morning when the gym was closed, somebody emerged from the shadows and sprinkled something that looked like dust over the tree. Just ten seconds later and they were back into the shadows and simply gone without ever using the only exit door. I have no idea who it was paying the tree some special attention, nor what they placed on it.

All I know is that all of a sudden I can't help staring at that tree and wanting to work out alongside the rest of my master's loyal subjects...

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