Pokemon: Jordinio Version - Chapter 29.2 (Patreon)

Before I could saddle up on my pokemon and fly off into the sunset to go wake up some peacefully sleeping ancient and very much endangered pokemon, beat them up and capture them to keep as my pets to show off with.

There were two things I needed to do.

The first, was to pay a visit to the local pokemart. For one, I needed a new saddle. One for Pidgeot like Fearow.

Today would be the first time I flew on him properly now that he had finally fully evolved and recovered and not just got carried like a sack of tatties by his feet.

Though that wasn't all.

There was another reason beyond going after Blastoise and his troop that I chose Cinnabar Island. honestly, I could have just as easily not left Gyarados and Dragonite in the pokemon centre and headed back to Vermillion City and got my revenge on Surge.

That reason was that through a little research, aka browsing the internet, I was able to find out that the Cinnabar Island pokemart, sold the TM for Dig.

An attack that would be vital towards me actually getting into the caverns below Grandpa Canyon where my prehistoric future buddies lay sleeping.

It set me back a full ten thousand, sheesh was it expensive. And I wasted no time in teaching it to Charmeleon.

I could have taught it to Blastoise if I wanted instead, which may have been the smarter play since well rock types and water types and all that.

But, every little bit of power I managed to scrounge together within Charmeleon, would help show even greater results when he evolved. As far as I could tell, and I'd browsed a few local world forums that talked pokemon, the stronger a pokemon was, the more of a boost they would gain upon evolution.

It was more along the lines of a multiplicative than a flat increase.

When that was taken care of, I only had one thing left to do before I left Cinnabar Island behind.

Let Dragonite, Gyarados and Blastoise out of their pokeballs and pose in front of them for a picture taken on my phone.

Which was then sent to Gary with a tagged message of, 'Get on my level, scrub.'

And while I did that, Charmeleon, being the good awesome fire breathing burning tailed raptor look alike boyo he was, dug some holes.

The best of it is I didn't even tell him to practice it, he just got right down to it. It's become a habit really for my pokemon.

They live and breath the grind.

Max EV's in the attack stat!

But not really because max isn't a thing in this world, otherwise a tiny little Pikachu wouldn't be able to destroy an entire battlefield over a hundred feet long and at least fifty wide with a freaking swing of its tail.

Honestly, taking that example to its logical or rather illogical extreme, 'I cast fist' is actually a viable tactic and battle style.

Nothing extravagant about it, no out of the box strategies, no genius tactics. Just a simple punch to the face and down they go.

It's too bad it's impossible to teach Mega Punch to all my pokemon. Some don't even have hands, or feet for that matter.

'I suppose there's only one thing to do.' I mused, arms crossed and a truly wisdom expression on my face.

Teach everyone Hyper Beam when they were fully evolved.

If we can't all punch together, we'll just have to fire our 'lazors' as one big happy family.

…Oh wait, I can't fire lasers either.

I wonder, could I learn how to use aura and instead of making aura spheres like Ash showed he could do in the movie, could I fire it as a beam?

…Questions for later.

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Fearow definitely wouldn't have decided to rev from a casual cruise to pretty much maximum speed in the air without warning for shits and giggles after all.

In fact, Fearow was very careful when flying with me considering you know, I'm still not that great with heights.

Pidgeot, not so much.

Pidgeot decided quite quickly into our flight, to give me a taste of what mach speed flight was like.

If I wasn't as hardy as I am thanks to my training, I would have probably taken some serious damage from it.

"….You're a prick you know that?" I groaned as Pidgeot finally slowed down.

My heart was hammering in my chest and the back of my neck ached painfully. And to hammer it all in, my mouth was obscenely dry and my lips cracked.

Have you ever felt your jowls flap around rapidly with no control, your cheeks pushed out with gale force gusts of air?

I have, just now.

And it wasn't pleasant.

Fucking hell the clapping sound of my jowls slapping against my gums could have rivalled the clap of Hilda's amazing ass cheeks when I pounded her into the bed the other night.

Pidgeot gave a smug bark of laughter from his beak. I couldn't see his face right now, but I'm sure there's a smug look on it right now.

I reached up and grasped the back of my neck to sooth the ache in it. Not that it helped much. I'll need Chansey's loving soothing touch to fix this.

Lovely.

It's not like I'm in the bad books with her for whatever reason. Still not sure what she's so mad about.

"Don't think just cuz' you're over ten times the size now that I won't punch you out again." I growled, waving my free hand, clenched into a fist at the back of his head.

…You know that lovely long golden mane is looking like a tempting target to yank on right about no-

I never got to finish my thought.

A yelp of fright tore from my throat as Pidgeot suddenly dive bombed, shooting rapidly downwards.

And once again my jowls began to clap against my gums like Hilda's ass cheeks clapped against my crotch.

Butterflies rampaged in my stomach and a numb sensation spread through my body.

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" I howled over the roaring winds assaulting my ears as we dived.

Fuck this guy!

He'll dive straight to the ground just to fuck with me!

Well I can fuck back pretty fucking hard, just ask Hilda!

Squashing the terror assaulting my veins, I reached out, grabbed him by that golden blonde mane of his and pulled back.

Hard.

As hard as I could actually.

A squawk of surprise left Pidgeot's beak at the sudden action, especially given that I pulled hard enough to pull his head up and backwards.

'…Wait….this probably wasn't a very good idea!' my eyes widened as we back flipped through the air and entered free fall.

I screamed like a little girl.

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Thankfully for my manly pride, the only one who heard me screaming like a little girl, was Pidgeot.

And probably the rest of the of my pokemon.

But at least my voice has long cracked at this point by this age. Otherwise I wouldn't have screamed like a little girl, but given an outright girly screech.

And also thankfully, Pidgeot is an expert flying, being you know, a bird all his life and all. And also fighting while flying…a lot.

He manged to recover safely after only six free falling terror filled back flips.

And seemed to have gotten enough of a fright out of our little impromptu air gymnastics routine, to calm down and fly normally.

Stupid try hard bird.

Well, at the very least, with him calmed down, I was able to actually get some things done.

It would take a couple of hours to reach Grandpa Canyon from Cinnabar, even flying.

So it gave me time to pursue some information online from my phone about Kalos. I'll need a general map of the place after all to figure out where I'm going.

There's three main places I want to stop by while there. One, was obviously the kingdom of a movie villain where I would proceed to mug an old man.

Though it's okay since he's an evil prick. I'm all equal rights and equal lefts, women, children and even the elderly, if they're cunts, I'll punch them!

The other two main spots I want to check out, is a specific area where I know Ash found a wild Salamence.

And Ambrette Town.

Why Ambrette Town specifically?

Most would probably think it had something to do with fossils and the like, what with the fossil reviving business in the Kalos games taking place there.

But no, not quite.

See, living in the local waters of Ambrette Town, was a shiny magikarp. I'm gonna catch it.

I can thank Ash for that knowledge.

Actually, I know where a lot of shiny pokemon are thanks to him. A shiny Onix, shiny Druddigon….shiny Metagross.

I should go after that thing soon actually.

Definitely after I've gotten what I need in Kalos. I think me and my pokemon can probably take it now.

Possibly.

It was around for a while without being captured. But the only gauge of its strength I have to go on is it slapping around Team Rocket.

Which could go either way. Because when it wasn't about Ash Ketchum, Jessie, James and Meowth were frighteningly competent and skilled. But when it was, they were absolute putzes.

'Hmm…?' I paused as I was idly scrolling through the news on Kalos when something popped out at me.

About Vaniville town.

Specifically, the starting town of the player character in the Kalos games, and also the hometown of Serena.

Best girl, hands down.

At least when this world was fictional.

I kind of want to meet her.

And I might get my chance.

Because, apparently, Professor Sycamore is holding some kind of tournament in Vaniville Town? Open entry and the winner not only got a decent cash prize of ten thousand, but also…

A choice between any of the three Kalos starter pokemon.

'Yeah I totally need to hit it up and try it out.' I grinned eagerly. He's got a Froakie with my name on it!

And I can probably see about getting a Honedge off of him. Or at least get pointed in the right direction to find one.

Honedge is after all, vital for my plan to become immortal and live forever. Man, I'm a total villain.

And I just don't care.

Well, I care enough to only use pieces of shit like Team Rocket members or eco terrorists like Magma and Aqua members.

Oh!

And Goh.

Because fuck Goh.

But not in the physical sense, because ew, nasty. Not even if he was the last effeminate looking being in this universe.

I paused in my thoughts as my phone vibrated.

A text from Gary?

Seems he'd finally replied to my taunt from earlier.

About fucking time man.

'You expect me to be surprised? Late news, already saw those three get some new content already you damn attention seeking noob. Fake and gay by the way, if you're gonna pull stunts like that, at least make them believable.'

…What?

What the actual fuck is this clown going on about? I'm totally lost.

Confused.

A little bit bamboozled. How the fuck did he know I already caught Dragonite, Gyarados and Blastoise without me telling him?

No wait, this is a total reverse tactic isn't it? Trying to make it seem like he's not awed and jealous by how awesome I am to catch these three.

'Gary, Gary oh poor stupid little Gary.' I shook my head and grinned before replying.

'I get it, you're jealous, it's alright, I understand little man. I mean, I have a Blastoise while you only have one rinky dinky little Wartortle that got beaten by a fire type. Oh by the way, it wasn't just Blastoise, Gyarados and DRAGONITE I caught, but Blastoise was on an island with a bunch of Squirtle and Wartortle that I caught as well. Get on my level son.'

And send.

And yes, I did bold and full cap Dragonite.

But I'm not finished yet.

I still had another card to play.

'By the way, how about introducing me to your sister? She's a researcher yeah? I've got quite the 'specimen' for her to examine.'

And once again, bold that one specific word and send!