Is It Wrong To Devour Monsters In The Dungeon? - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

I awoke with a jerk to the feeling of my windpipe being crushed, and snarling in my ears. Tiny, sharp nailed hands, I could feel them wrapped around my throat and squeezing.

I couldn’t breath! And as my eyes opened, all I could see was an ugly, misshapen green skull, rows of sharp teeth and glowing red, hate filled eyes all directed down at me.

Panic filled me. Where am I? What the hell is going on!? My arms flailed around in my panic, and even though I just woke darkness began enroaching my vision.

..I’m dying! Why am I dying!? What the fuck is this!?

My hands clenched into fists and I brought them together hard, slamming them into the ugly green head snarling down at me as the very life was choked out of me with all my available strength. It didn’t even budge, and it It felt like punching a wall, my fingers ached as if I stubbed them, but I ignored that pain as adrenaline surged through me.

FUCK YOU!!!

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Like a mad man I hammered my fists over and over again into the thing choking me, it barely even flinched, only squeezing harder. Just as the darkness was about to swallow me whole and snuff out my life, my last punch missed its face and slammed into just below its chin.

It gave a gurgle sputtering cough of shock and jerked back, its grip on my throat loosening. I didn’t give it the chance to recover, jerking up myself I headbutted it, knocking it onto its back and off of me. I threw myself to my knees over it, noting it was a small, fat little green monster. My head throbbed with pain, it felt like I’d just slammed it against a metal door. But, I ignored it.

Surging forward on my knees I leapt atop the little green bastard, one hand wrapping around its throat and returning the favour, while I began slamming my other into its face over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over!

“Why! Won’t! You! Fucking! Die!” I punctuated each screamed word with a punch, its ugly green nose was leaking a river of purple fluid, but it no matter how hard I punched or squeezed at its throat, it just wouldn’t stop and kept clawing up at me with small, clawed fingers. The thick jacket I was wearing was the only reason it wasn’t tearing chunks out of my arms.

FUCK THIS!

I let go of its throat and together, instead of punching, I jammed my thumbs into its eyes and pierced them with my finger nails, digging into it, ripping apart the squishy flesh. It jerked and squealed and snarled like a dying pig. I pinned it to the ground beneath me it with my thumbs through its eyes but it just wouldn’t go down!

With my hands busy, there was only one thing left for me. With a hate filled snarl, I kept it pinned with my superior weight and thumbs through its eye sockets and threw my head down, opening my mouth. I wrapped my mouth around its ugly, gangly and disgustingly smelling throat and bit into it as hard I could.

Rip and tear! I bit into it and tore the flesh from its throat, but I didn’t stop I ragdolled its throat with my teeth, shaking around and tearing into it with my pearly whites for all I was worth.

It just struggled harder and harder!

Until my teeth settled around something small, pointy and hard. Like a small stone and I jerked back, ripping it from its flesh. There was so much I instinctively swallowed, and just as I did, the ugly little beast beneath me burst into smoke, making me fall back on my ass without it to lean on.

Wide eyed, and my mouth dripping wet with thick purple gore, I panted deeply, “What...the fuck?” I whispered, gaping.

All that was left of the ugly green thing was a long razor sharp fang sitting on the ground where it used to be.

Shaking massively, I crawled forward and picked it up in one hand, noting it was about half the size of my palm, and at least double the size of any of my canine teeth. ‘Is...is this a fucking drop item?’ I thought in disbelief.

How….what? The fuck? Why? Just what!?

The last I remember I was heading out to a garage during the night, around one in the morning because all of the shops in the area were shut and I really needed some irn bru. Everything after leaving my house is totally blank though, until I woke up here with that thing trying to choke the life out of me.

A goblin maybe?

I looked around where I was sitting. I was in a small, dark passageway. A Cave? It wasn’t pitch black though even without any light sources, but cast in a very dim purple that I could just see a few dozen or so feet in front of me.

“Where the fuck am I?” I wondered, doing my best to reign in my panicky thoughts as I forced myself up on shaky, jittery jelly legs and started patting myself down and looking myself over.

I was still in the same clothes I left my house in. A pair of silver boxers high tops, black tracksuit bottoms and a thick black stylish leather-like jacket with a hoodie within it. My phone was in my pocket, as was my wallet and house keys.

My eyes widened as something else came to mind. I reached into my jacket and checked the inner pocket, and felt a bit of confidence return to me as I pulled out a pair of lock back bayonet knuckle dusters.

A gift from my cousin before he got sent to prison. Honestly, I had a few things like this from him, like throwing knives, shuriken and even a trio of ‘samurai swords’. All curved blades of varying lengths, pretty sure one was a katana.

I put that out of mind for now and slipped my fingers on both hands through the knuckle duster grips and flicked the blades out. I’m so so glad I got into the habit of taking my cousins advice to heart and taking these out with me if I went out at night.

‘I need to get the fuck out of here!’ I told myself. Wherever here fucking was.

I looked around myself..and well, there was only two directions I could really go now wasn’t there? Forward or backwards.

Before I could decide though, the sound of stone cracking to my side caught my attention and adrenaline flooded me as I jerked around to see where it was coming from.

There, the cave wall beside me! It was cracking open, green flesh becoming apparent to my eyes as it opened further and further. A very familiar misshapen and ugly green skull with glaring hateful red eyes coming into view.

‘This is!’ My eyes widened at the familiarity of it all. But instead of finishing my thought, I rushed forward and before the ugly green little bastard could get out of the cracking wall, I stabbed one of my blades straight into its throat and ripped it through its skin into its chest, tearing its throat wide open.

A small, pointed glittering purple stone fell out from where I tore its throat out, clattering to the ground and as it did, the goblin thing burst into black smoke and disappeared entirely, leaving only the small stone behind as proof of its prior existence.

Breathing deeply I reached down and picked it up. “A magic stone.” I gasped in realisation.

‘..No way...this can’t be possible!’ I thought in a daze. But, even punching myself in the side a bit with my knuckle dusters didn’t wake me up and only had me wheezing in pain.

This can’t be Danmachi...can it?

I’d been hoping for something to come up so I could avoid school for a day...but not like this.

“Fucking hell.” I couldn’t help but whisper, even as I stowed the small little purple stone alongside the fang from the other goblin in my pocket. These things were like currency here right? If this was Danmachi at least.

After all, I don’t think ten pound notes will be quite accepted as valid currency in what is clearly a fantasy world.