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The voice sounded out, echoing outside the room.

“Failure. Round Two.”

Outside the room, Shuhang Han sighed. “So much for the disciple with the greatest potential in the history of our sect. I suppose I’ll have to apologize to Jizhi Zhimei. She’ll have to find a new hostage.”

A few of his disciples stared at him, startled, but none dared to speak up.

“Alright, open up. Let’s see his body,” Shuhang Han said. I want to see that technique he had! I had the feeling that if I study that, I might be able to break through to the next level of body cultivation! That’s the kind of opportunity that rarely comes by. Truly, it’s incredible that someone of his level had a technique that piqued my interest. It’s a pity he died, but at least I can benefit from it.

The doors remained shut. Shuhang Han gave then a knock. “Come on, open up.”

“Beginning Round Three.”

Shuhang Han squinted. “Wait. The disciple died, no?”

“The disciple is still alive.”

“Huh? Then why… why did you say failure?” Shuhang Han asked, confused.

No answer.

Shuhang Han stepped back. He crossed his arms, waiting. Whatever happened, that disciple almost died on the second round. In fact, he came close enough to death for the room to make a mistake. He won’t last much longer. I’ll only have to wait a few more rounds.

“Failure… Beginning Round Four.”

“Fai… Beginning Round Five.”

“F… Beginning Round Six.”

Time passed. A hundred rounds, two hundred, five hundred, a thousand. Shuhang Han stared at the door in amazement and disbelief. How? How is he still going? He almost fails every time, but he still defeats the trial? How? He must be using a regeneration or rejuvenation technique, but how is his technique this heavenly? I don’t know a single technique that can heal at this rate, let alone heal from almost dead repeatedly in such rapid succession! How is he doing this?

No wonder his potential was so high! At second stage, when he arrived at this sect, he already had a heavenly body cultivation technique that far exceeded any technique I know. Incredible! What kind of powerhouses are hidden in the Southern Sect Conference, that someone passed him such a powerful technique? We should pay more mind to the Southern Sect Conference. It seems it won’t be as easy to conquer them as Tseng Caihong says. All-Seeing Eyes, my ass! There’s limits to them no matter what she says, everyone knows it. It’s better to stop pretending.

Clapping his hands, he sat down, then reached his hands out. A disciple placed a gourd of liquor in one hand, and another placed a plate of snacks in the other. Shuhang Han settled in to watch the door, listening to the strange messages as they sounded out one after another. “Ha! To think I doubted such potential! Bold, boy, bold! When you come out, show me how powerful that technique of yours has become!”

Inside the room, Hui panted, exhausted. “A breather, give me a breather!”

Unhesitatingly, the room closed in on him again. “Beginning Round Seven Hundred and Twenty-Nine.”

Hui gritted his teeth. How did I never prepare for this? Getting trapped in an endless loop of regeneration is classic! Any cultivation protagonist with a regeneration technique gets trapped in a trap or situation like this at least once, if not several times! Just because I’m not a protagonist, doesn’t mean I can’t get trapped!

What a careless mistake. Even if I acknowledge my obvious lack and inability to be the protagonist, that doesn’t mean I can overlook protagonist-centric traps! After all, side characters constantly get trapped in traps meant for the protagonist. The problem is, they aren’t the protagonist, so they die in such traps! What a gross mistake to make! In fact, I should guard against protagonist-focused traps precisely because I’m not the protagonist!

Hui took a deep breath, forcing his qi to calm and circulate smoothly. It’s fine. The advantage to phoenix fire is exactly what makes it dangerous: you can’t put it out. In other words, it’s an infinite flame, unable to run out of energy. It will allow me to regenerate over ten thousand rounds.

However, the problem is… I’m not so infinite! My energy’s already running low, and the mental energy required to rebuild my body is flagging. I can’t keep this up. I have to give up on something. Something needs to take less energy, so I can take a break!

Hui put a hand on his chin. Hmm… hold on. I need to come back to life, yes. But… how back to life? It activated before I regrew to my current age, after all. Ah, and I’ve never reached my true age, so it’s not as if it waits for me to completely regenerate! In other words, I don’t need to completely regenerate. I’m wasting energy by aging up this far! Instead, I should do the bare minimum.

But… what does the room consider the bare minimum?

The blades closed in. Hui burned to ash, then rebuilt his body. This time, though, he stopped at a baby.

“Fail… Beginning Round Seven Hundred and Thirty.”

That’s enough for the room. Then what about a fetus? Hui burned away again. This time, when the blades pulled apart, he only grew himself to a fetal state.

“Failure… Beginning Round Seven Hundred and Thirty-One.”

Ah. That one’s closer, but it’s still considered alive. Burning up, this time, Hui only regrew himself to the stage of a handful of cells. The room hesitated. Hui held his breath. Come on. I’m technically living. Living cells, sure, but single-cellular organisms are alive, right?

“…”

Come on! Count it! Come on, room! Give it to me!

“… Beginning Round Seven Hundred and Thirty-Two.”

Nice! I’m really pushing it this time, but… one cell! Just a single cell of Hui! Let’s see if that’s enough! The flames barely flickered as Hui regenerated a single cell from the ashes.

The room paused. Silence reigned.

Is this too far? I mean… can the room even register a single cell’s existence? Cultivators barely know how fetuses work, let alone cells. Maybe it won’t recognize me as something that can even possibly qualify as being alive.

“Failure…”

Hui sighed. I guess that was pushing it too much. He reached for the phoenix fire.

Before he could, the room spoke again. “Beginning Round Seven Hundred and Thirty-Three.”

Hui jolted. Really? Huh. I wouldn’t have allowed it! But hey, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He eyed the blades. Do I even need to burn up? I mean, can the blades cut a single cell?

The blades slammed shut. Tiny, single-cell Hui slipped between the crack of the blades. He laughed internally, unable to laugh aloud. Perfect! I don’t even have to—

His single-celled body began to crumble.

Eyes widening, Hui quickly activated the phoenix fire. It burned up and reformed, but this time, Hui added a few more cells. Okay, okay. That—I should have seen that coming. Even fetuses need super-specialized environments to survive, let alone single cells. I can’t sit here as a single cell and be safe. I’m only barely able to cling to life for a few moments. As it is, I can’t completely neglect regenerating myself after each round.

But… what if I can create a tiny stable body, on the size of a single-celled organism? Or if not that small, at least small enough that the blades can’t kill me, and I don’t have to waste energy constantly rebuilding my body?

Even as his multicellular body deteriorated, Hui investigated it, prodding it from outside. It needs to be moist, as it is… well, that’s hard for me, given that I’m working with fire. And it’s too small for me to meaningfully use any techniques with it. In fact, I don’t even have a dantian, meridians, or any qi organs. I need to be a little bigger in order to create a useful body, I think. At least doll-sized.

True, I will be struck by the blades at that size… but I think I have a technique to overcome that!

First, time to rebuild my body, but tiny! Time to become a doll! Hui activated the phoenix fire as the blades closed in. The second they retreated, he called on the phoenix fire again. This time, he didn’t progress through the natural stages of life once more, but instead forcibly shaped a body from raw phoenix fire. Tiny. I need to be tiny! Tiny, but still with all the qi-features of full-sized me!

Comments

Green0Photon

This may top the Xianxia bullshit we've seen so far in this fic. Existing as a single cell, bruh. You love to see it. And this is much better than bs large numbers, to be fair

Prometheus

Why not optimize so each cell has it's own set of Daitan and meridians(it has a nucleus and specialize organelles to work with already)? Doing so would also give him back-up meridians and Daitan if his are destroyed. What is hui planning to do if a mighty cultivator attacks his cultivation and shatters his meridian system! Not only is this a classic Xianxia trap, Hui has so many ki types he'd explode like a Firework! To think he'd neglect the Dao of Survival so...

Vega

No top dianxia bullshit is when/if he rebuilds his body with hui cells.