650. Bad Disciples Get Food Processed (Patreon)

The wall of blades slammed into Hui’s skin. They skidded off his crystalized body, sending shocks flying. Little bits of crystal chipped off of him, but the blades did little damage. It grew closer and closer, pressing his arms against his body, then pulled back abruptly. The blades spun away from him, and the pressure lessened once more.

Hui breathed out, relieved. Alright. Not so bad. I was able to hold it off, and I picked up a few cuts, but given how bad it looked, it could have been much worse! Especially given how much body cultivators like pain.

A gentle female voice resounded from the steel walls. “Round One completed. Advancing to Round Two.”

Hui’s stomach dropped out from under him. That’s not all?

“Beginning cycle…”

“Wait wait wait—how many rounds are there?” Hui shouted. This is a cultivation world! They love outrageous numbers! Ten would be reasonable, but a hundred is more than possible! Maybe a round hundred and eight? Yes, yes. I… can probably handle that much. It would be difficult, but maybe I could—

“Ten,” the voice said.

“Ten? Phew,” Hui said, so relieved he spoke aloud.

“—thousand,” the voice finished.

Hui’s eyes went wide. “Ten thousand?” Isn’t that excessive? Body cultivators, even if you love pain, surely ten thousand rounds is too much for you! How can you last that long?

I suppose body cultivation… but that’s an unnecessary form of body cultivation!

The walls began to spin again.

“Wait, wait!” Hui shouted. “Can I opt out? Er, leave early?”

“No.”

“What, what about, er—”

“Once you enter the chamber, you must survive all ten thousand rounds. Each round grows more powerful, building upon the previous ones. However, if you succeed, my secrets and artifacts await you.”

I don’t want your prizes! Keep them to yourself! I want to get out! Opt out! Leave! Hui opened his mouth to shout it, but quickly thought the better of it. Come to think of it, I think I’ll keep that to myself. I don’t want my dear friend here to take me literally and withhold my prize if I do get stuck in here for all ten thousand rounds! No, no. IF there’s some loot at the end of the tunnel, at least I’m persevering for a reason!

But… wait. Anyone can enter this chamber at any time. If that’s the case, is there any loot left? Or has it all been looted already?

Guess I can always ask.

“Is there anything left?” he tried.

No response.

Is that a no, or does it not have an answer? Hui cleared his throat. “What if I fail? What happens then?”

“Death is all that awaits those who cannot complete this challenge. Those who enter, should prepare themselves to survive or die!”

I don’t like that! I don’t like that at all! There has to be another option. Surely there’s another option? Or did that body cultivator just throw me to my death for no reason?

No, no. It must be easier than it seems! Or… or there must be some kind of security override. Something! Anything!

…I’m deluding myself. In cultivation worlds, it’s totally normal to send dozens of cultivators to their deaths for no reason. Nothing is guaranteed!

And hold on… What did he say? It’s a paradise for body cultivators? Somewhere you can rapidly grow stronger? But he said nothing about surviving, or about using it often!

Hui pressed his lips together. “Elder Sister, I’ll see you shortly.”

No, Hui. Don’t give up so easily! Think. There must be something. Some trick I can use to survive this!

He looked at his hand. A dark aura swirled around it for a moment. Curious, he touched a tiny bit of the qi to the floor. Slowly, but steadily, the steel floor decayed.

Closing his hand, he dismissed the black qi. Well, obviously death or rot qi would break through these walls. It might take a while, but I could do it. That’s a bit extreme, though, and it’s sure to piss off Shuhang Han. I should consider it my panic button, not my go-to.

I do still need to become the strongest disciple, or whatever it is Tseng Caihong said. The point is, if she can’t deny my strength, then she has to give Zhubi back! I should find a way to blast through this trial that allows me to grow stronger at the same time. Surely there’s a way?

Though… I’m not opposed to destroying the chamber if that’s what it takes. My life comes first. Cultivation is about immortality first, and strength second!

But let’s examine the lesser options first.

He looked over his body as the blades began closing in again. My crystal body has already been chipped. I can use my combined plant-crystal form to heal the chips with life qi, but that feels like a losing battle. In the end, my life qi is limited. Even if I had qi replenishment pills, would they replenish my life qi? Certainly, I don’t have enough life qi for ten thousand rounds of this. I’ll be whittled down to a tiny stone! Besides, the plant-crystal form is softer than the pure crystal form. I’d get cut down even faster!

I suppose I could try getting whittled down to a human stick, then regenerating all at once, but I’m no body cultivator. I’m not a fan of pain!

The blades drew closer and closer, quickly cutting the size of the room in half. Hui’s mind sped ahead, racing at double speed.

Is there any way to get harder? …not like that. Harder on the Mohs Hardness Scale harder! Crystalize myself into diamond instead of… I’m not sure what kind of crystal I am now. Quartz, probably. That’s already an eight or so out of ten, and that metal is probably cultivation metal. All that to say, I can’t count on diamond being enough.

Blades scraped by his skin. This time, they cut easily through the outer layers of his crystal form, slicing off bits of him like butter. Hui flinched away, biting his lip as he escaped into the tiny amount of space left in the room.

Ugh. What’s left? I can’t get hard enough to resist, I can’t fight back—

Fight back. Hold on. Since when have I done that? Give in! Play dead! Hui’s eyes glittered as a solution suddenly came to him. Yes! If I do that, that should work.

Now then, let’s give it a try! Circulating his qi, Hui drew out his phoenix fire and enveloped himself in it. Under the heat of the flames, he burned up in the space of a heartbeat. His body crumbled away, leaving ashes behind.

The blades closed in on the ashes, but did nothing but push them around. Little more than a mote of fire in the center of the ashes, Hui waited, holding his breath as the blades closed in entirely. So… how does the trial react to that? After all, by all accounts… I’m dead!

The blades pushed his ashes into a pile. The room closed to its fullest, barely leaving any gaps between the blades, then retracted. “Failure. Round Two.”

Good, good. I can escape this place—wait, wait, hold on! I’ll never be the number one disciple if I die in Round Two! Besides, I can’t have an official trial room declare me dead. That’ll raise too many questions.

Quickly! Hui pushed the phoenix fire to surge once more. The ashes burst back into flame, raging higher and higher. His body reformed, advancing to the fetus stage, then baby, then child all in a matter of moments.

As it did, Hui casually adjusted a few elements of his body. Last time, I didn’t take all the care I could have. I can still make my body even more optimal. Make the muscle fibers denser. Eliminate unnecessary fat. Optimize my organs, adjust my qi pathways and qi organs, like meridians and dantian. Black bits of ash fell away, dropping to the floor, the imperfections burned away. Hui’s body regrew faster and faster, quickly reaching his disciple age once more.

“… Beginning Round Three.”

Hui grinned. He activated the phoenix fire again, preparing to burn to ash. “Ha! Come at me! You can’t hurt me if I die first!”

Wait, hold on. That doesn’t sound quite right… Oh well! Hui stared down the blades as they hurtled toward him, faster than before. Phew. I just have to do this another nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety seven times…

Ugh. I’m tired already.