My Teenage Romance Comedy Can't Be This Perverted! Chapter 91: Devil (Patreon)

Beta read by Shigiya.

Some health news. So I have been feeling tired due to my uh... lacking diet and other physical activities afterwards. This along with the freaking heat kinda made my body be pushed a bit too far. Though a change in diet and some days of no exercise should put me back to normal condition.

So no fever, covid or anything that bad thankfully. Still feel sleepy and tired most of the day, but it's not as bad as before.

Next update is An Archer's Promise and Nanoha


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-Kuoh-


"From today on, I will be your new English teacher! My name is Gabriel, and I look forward to getting to know all of you very soon."


This had to be a dream; I refused to see it as reality given how absurd it looked. A fantasy that only appeared within my dreams, before it turned into a stress-inducing ordeal. Already, my mind was tired and exhausted from the previous conflict, from the invasion from the old Satan faction to Vali's betrayal, had taken a toll on my mental and physical state.


A day or two later, I had no other desire but to attend my class normally and live the oh-so-enviable life of a high school boy. Ironically, in the end, I preferred such a life over anything else. My past self would have been appalled or perhaps even disgusted to see me get excited to be part of this fake world and find joy in interacting with all these classmates.


Much to my horror, the moment I sat on my chair, waiting for the teacher to walk into class, the same cranky old man who spoke with a very accent-heavy English that gave us random oral tests, was now a beautiful busty blonde woman wearing a black suit that hugged tightly around her extremely well-developed figure, as walk inside the classroom with a giant smile plastered on her face. The shock and gasps from the surrounding students filled the air, as not a single one knew how to react to her radiant presence.

 

‘The great twelve-winged Seraph, now taking the role of a mere human teacher. How times have changed, don't you think so, partner? Perhaps I could have chosen the profession of a history teacher if my real body hadn't been destroyed,’ Vritra was the first one to comment with an amused tone, finding the entire ordeal funny rather than shocking as if such an outcome was an everyday occurance. ‘Look at the bright side, with the relationship between you two, perhaps you can negotiate a passing grade with the woman without having to work for it. I am sure you have plenty to offer to someone like her. Though knowing your luck, it might end up with a kiss on the cheek or some other form of human intimacy.’


He joked something that I, unfortunately, did not find funny nor even bothered to comment, as my mind continued to find a possible answer as to why the Seraph Gabriel suddenly came over to Kuoh Academy and was now my english teacher.


"Whoa, we got a beautiful teacher at last!"


"My God, just look at how smooth her skin looks and those luscious blonde hair… She looks European to me… Swedish? Maybe British?"


"And she speaks perfect Japanese, I'm so happy to be alive! Why didn't the school announce this to us? Mejima-sensei never announced that he was retiring." One of the students questioned, his star-filled eyes and voice being the only one reaching my ears amongst the chaos. “Wait, I feel like I've seen her somewhere…”


“Ah, I know! Wasn't she Asia Argento’s older sister?* 


“Eh? I thought she was the mother…”


“Who cares!? She's here as our teacher!” 


““Hooray for sexy teachers!!”” 


Perhaps Sona would need to look into these two, the rise of a new duo of perverts. What were their names again? Now that I thought about it, I barely knew the names of half of my classmates. Guess that was a consequence of having to address them as kids every time.


“Kya! She looks so pretty! I can see the resemblance between her and Asia-chan!” 


“I want her to hold me and be my big sister!” 


Oi oi, the girls weren't helping the situation and acted just as bad as the guys. I had to agree with Gabriel's beauty, but did they need to exaggerate their emotions to this degree? Did I become desensitized or something by the appeal of beautiful women? No, this world was still just plain weird and I had gotten used to it. 


‘I won't be surprised if there were students who genuinely worshiped either one of Rias or Akeno's chair. The same for Kiba with the female population…’ 


Vritra chimed in, ‘People weren't like that in your world? I've seen strange things in my time. Men have willingly defied gods just for the sake of a maiden that didn't even know they existed.’


‘Well, kinda? I won't lie and say there aren't extreme cases of some people going the extra mile. But nowhere near this common. From my experience, people willingly wear a mask and build a whole new persona around that in order to be accepted into a certain clique — doesn't matter if they are popular or not. Molding their own identity and living a lie just to be accepted by a handful of people whom they somehow made their whole existence around. A common trait in the youth of my world, well… probably not that common but still very present with those I interacted with. I used to say that fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don't care. So far, I haven't really seen such a mentality here. People are generally very open with their true selves, for better or worse that I can't tell.’ 


‘Sounds tedious, were you one of those with a fake image?’


Hmm, I waited a few seconds to answer that. ‘I just stopped caring and wanted to be left alone. People just kept approaching me.’


‘You don't sound annoyed, perhaps you wanted to be included.’


A chuckle escaped my mouth. 


‘It’s been nearly two decades since then, Vritra. For a being like you, it may be equivalent to a few days but for a former regular human, it's long enough that some details start to get foggy. How would I remember such things?’ 


‘That sounds like an excuse, a bad one at that by your standards, for you to not speak further on this topic.’


I didn't deny his words, choosing to stay quiet while coming to observe my current situation.


Looking around, I found that it wasn't just the small number of girls in the class who were cheering for her arrival; all of them squealed at her beauty and started blushing the longer they stared at her. Gabriel was famous for her beauty within the supernatural world, I used to wonder about the reaction normal people would have. Now here I witnessed the impact it had… Though it was weird to find some of the boys had taken a seat in order to hide a few pitching tents. 


Seriously, was I missing something!? Admittedly, I felt flustered upon first meeting her, but these people acted as if they never met a woman in their life!


The worst was yet to come; my heartbeat rose and became twice as fast when the woman turned her attention to me. I prayed to every living deity in existence for her not to use the typical anime scenario where the beauty suddenly hugged the male character in front of the entire class without reservation or shame, causing him to become public enemy number one. 


Granted, my reputation wasn't bad, and I would even argue that it was at a level closer to Kiba than someone like Issei. But this scenario, in particular, would honestly have me facing some crazed lover, I was certain of. And my mind was too fed up to deal with some wannabe yandere or possessive people who idolized Gabriel to an extreme state. My eyes squinted, trying to glare at the woman as much as possible and not make it evident to my surroundings. Trying to develop some telepathic powers and project my thoughts into her head and just ask her to sit down and go on with the class without acknowledging my presence. 


‘As if that will ever happen.’


Curse my terrible luck!


It seemed that fate had other plans for me, the world itself despising my existence as the next moment I heard…


"Ah, I didn't know you would also be in this class, Hachi-kun, I'm so glad to see you again, and we can spend more time together!” 


Liar! 


Wait, she couldn't lie… so did she really become a teacher here without knowing that!? Someone must have given her that idea or perhaps this particular Seraph held a hidden desire to become a teacher since the dawn of time.


“I always wondered how you spend your day as a student. Now as your teacher, I'll make sure to help you with any trouble you may face! You can count on me~!" She said with a determined and beautiful smile, which made her boobs jiggle under her top and further hypnotize the male population in class. 


Murderous glares started to surround me and demonic whispers from the boys and the girls seemed to be in a mixed bag, as they were debating whether to glare at me or Gabriel, but where leaning more to glaring at me. Couldn’t really blame them, as it is hard to dislike an honest and innocent person like Gabriel. I already had my hand facepalming my face; I was in the wrong here. “I should have jumped through the mirror and made my exit.” 


"What is the meaning of this, Hikigaya Hachiman!?" 


“Yes, that is my full name. So kind of you to tell it out for no particular reason,” my dry voice bled through, eyes twitching, while seriously considering my previous idea of using the window as my exit path. 


“Don't think you can slip away from us!” Some of the students screamed in unison while the Seraph looked at the class in confusion — most likely clueless at their anger towards me. 


“You all are more troublesome than the red haired weeb, I swear.” I brainstormed for a bit, my complexion soured as I struggled to find an answer that wouldn't end up with me having to deal with a horde of angry students coming after my life. Yet no matter what situation or answers I came up with, I just knew that none of it would end up nicely. So with a sigh, I just decided to go with the simplest answer I could come up with and bear with the consequences later.


"She is an old friend of my family, my father worked with her overseas, and I happen to meet her from time to time. She's like an acquaintance, nothing more and nothing less." I answered calmly, trying to put out a confident expression and hoping these fools would not be in denial and just go with it. 


Much to my relief, it seemed to work as their frowns slowly started to subside and disappear with a smile creeping up on their faces. "So you two are just acquaintances; we were worried there for a second. We thought that with your current relationship with the girls from Gremory-senpai’s club, you’ve had gone for her as well." 


These fools, why were they looking at me like I was trying to build a harem? I was innocent! But there was nothing I could do other than stay quiet and let such comments just simmer out to die.


Yet to my dismay, Gabriel had teary eyes, which sent a pang of guilt and worry in my heart, and instantly I sensed something bad was about to happen. "I was only an acquaintance to you all this time? After everything I've done for you and how close we became… I thought of you as someone much closer to my heart. Other than my brothers, I never had such a close relationship with any other man in my life…" What was this woman suddenly spouting!? 


And just like that, the glares were back tenfold, and I couldn't help but just give up. "All of you just use your logic; you know what. Peace.” And without saying much, I jumped out of the window with cries of shock coming from behind. 


As expected, the remnants of my high school life were in complete shambles. 


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“And so, from today on I’ll be the advisor of this occult research club. Please call me Azazel-sensei. Or, ‘Governor’ is fine too.”


What was with this sudden feeling of deja vu? Having escaped from my death sentence, I decided to tackle some matters that occupied my mind ever since the meeting between the three factions. More specifically Rias and how she kept avoiding me since that day.


And without needing to be a mind reader, I knew why she behaved like that. However, when I came to the club room, I found myself facing the leader of the Fallen facing the Devils while leaning comfortably on Rias' chair. Wearing a worn-out suit, Azazel just smirked at my arrival. 


“…Why are you here?” having noticed my presence, Rias still did not look at me and continued the conversation with Azazel. Her hand on her forehead, perplexed and fed up by the Governor's antics but powerless to do anything. 


“Hah! I decided to take this position after careful consideration and even got permission from Serafall rather easily! Though, well, it’s definitely because I’m a super-cool guy. I scored even with school girls!”


The redhead slammed her hand on the table “That’s forbidden between teachers and students! Or rather, why would she do such a thing?”


“You’re so stubborn, Rias. I was told by Serafall that this was requested by Sirzechs. That’s why she chose me, I mean, who else would you have to protect you and the school? I am a beacon of trust and integrity, no harm shall befall anyone here with my presence.” He said a statement that sounded like a joke did hold some truth. Not the integrity and trust part, just the fact the man did possess the power to back up his claim. 


Yet he was also the type of person that I'd feel uncomfortable within the same building if I were in the middle of changing my clothes — I felt safer with Aika. Still, what was Sirzechs thinking? 


“Even if Sirzechs managed to heavily injure Shalba and kill most of his little gang, you can't underestimate the lengths these people are willing to go just to get the upper hand. We can't take any risks and unfortunately, your words don't hold any weight in this matter.” His words sounded harsh, increasing the frown on everyone's face but the man didn't back down. “If you feel unsatisfied with my statement, then go get stronger until even I would think twice fighting you kids, because right now, you’re all so damn weak that you are more of a liability for the rest of us.”


“You're no safer,” this time Akeno answered while crossing her arms. “Who was the one who got betrayed during the battle by their own ally and failed to notice this?” 


At that, Azazel raised his arms in mock defeat. “That, I can't deny. It was a gross neglect on my part. Vali, for all his faults, was loyal, that I can assure you… perhaps I just underestimated how big his lust for a bigger challenge turned out to be. I assure you that no such mistakes will happen again.” 


Vali… I didn't even know in what condition that bastard was in. Though the matter of his survival was certain, he hadn't died back then and even Vritra was positive for that to be the case. Someone or something perhaps managed to pull him out in time, unfortunately, with no proof we could just speculate. 


“Also, my reasons here do not just stop at protecting your bunch. The condition for me staying at this school is that I make the Sacred Gears possessed by the Devils of the Gremory family grow. Well, my knowledge as a Sacred Gear enthusiast is useful, after all. Rather than that, I’m an expert on matters related to dragon-based gears, gods, and our enemy’s weapons if ever used against us. Finally, I will remain here in order to track down my former protege and give him the harshest grounding in history.” 


“Is the Old Satan Faction and their allies going to attack here again?” The Governor shook his head at my question.


“They won’t attack here again. It was a rare chance for an assassination on the leaders of the three great powers at the conference, but that also failed. Their current opponents are Heaven and the Underworld. In the Underworld, all the Fallen Angels under my orders have joined together with the Devils. Our united front won’t fall so easily. The Seraphs in Heaven also wouldn’t remain silent, it should be obvious given one of them is here as we speak.”


Ah, so that was the reason behind Gabriel's presence. 


“…So it’s a war?”


“No, it’s still at the skirmish level. You could say both they and us are in a preparatory period. Don’t worry, something like war won’t occur until you people graduate from university, let alone this school’s high school division. Enjoy your school life fully… However, it is the long-awaited preparatory period. So you’ll be doing various preparations, right?”


“We are,” Rias answered with a confident smile. To that, Azazel smiled before clapping his hands together and getting up from the chair. 


“Alright, I'll trust you on that, but a word of precaution, don't believe you're strong enough to handle anyone on the other side even if you grow ten times your previous self. While you train to reach a new level of power, so will the enemy — keep that in mine.” He walked around the table, stopping next to me as I didn't give him any answer. The Governor General chuckled and retrieved a black box within his coat. “A small gift, don't think you have any use for it so just keep it as a souvenir. Throwing something extra in there just for you, should be helpful for runecrafting. But don't tell that master of yours, she may not like it.” 


Curious at his gift, I opened the box and found a small broken crystal shard and a glove. 


‘That shard… interesting, very interesting.’ Vritra commented, making me pay attention to said item yet I couldn't see anything special about it or what even it was. But if the dragon said so then it must have been important. So I thanked him with a head nod, to which he smirked and quietly walked out of the building leaving me facing the group with an awkward silence. 


“Why don't I make us all some tea, should help soothe our tired minds from unnecessary thoughts. Koneko-chan, why don't you come to help me out?” Akeno made her move, grabbing the startled cat by her collar and dragging her away before she could even say anything. 


“Oh right, I promised Makima-san to help her with some chores around the house. And walk her dogs, see you all tomorrow!” Kiba was next, hastily walking out of the room with Gasper following him quietly which left only Rias and I inside.


“A-Ah… I have a date with Ise!” Irina said with a blush before running away, her statement left me stunned. Was that an excuse or did the boy actually manage to ask someone else out? I thought Raynare’s words still wounded him… maybe it was Irina who took the first step and pulled him out of his funk? 


Guessed the childhood friend turned girlfriend was still a powerful trope. 


Regardless, I returned to focus on my current ordeal, I rubbed my neck, Rias looking out the window at the flora surrounding the school. Walking to her table where Azazel sat, I absentmindedly grabbed some of her pens and played along until she finally spoke. 


“How long since you and Sona made the pact?” 


There it was.


“Not that long ago, barely a month I think,” I answered, hearing Rias take a deep breath of air. “Happened in the Underworld, right before I met Sairaorg I believe. She invited me for a game and proposed a deal to change me into her Pawn.” 


“And you accepted.” 


I could hear the anger and disappointment in her tone aimed straight at me — rightfully so. 


“Not really.” She turned her head around, glaring suspiciously at me. Rather than just say any more words and create a bigger mess for me, I decided to just show it to her. Grabbing onto Asia's old cross I kept, a gift she left right before leaving with Gabriel a while ago. The redhead observed how the item rested upon my palm without damaging my skin or causing any other harmful reaction. “It is hard to explain but I'll do my best, I accepted Vritra's request rather than Sona's. I am still very much not a Devil, or fully a human if I were to be honest but that's a matter I don't want to tackle for now.”


“Do you think that makes me happy?” 


“No,” I wasn't a fool to believe this explanation alone would put out the anger within her. “I didn't come here with the goal to seek forgiveness for my actions. Nor did I believe this explanation would serve to justify my wrongdoings or to put the blame on anyone else. At the end of the day, I had a choice and went with it knowing full well I'd be in such a scenario sooner or later.” 


I looked around the office, before moving to her desk and opening one of her drawers and retrieved a small box which I recognized the content of. Several red pieces rolling around, eight Pawns, and a Rook. Weird how despite having seen them plenty of times, I never noticed how beautiful these pieces actually were. Similar to clear ruby, shimmering with an ethereal light inside. I never even paid that close attention to Sona when she used her pieces. This maybe a biased opinion, but these ones just looked more unique to my eyes, given they belonged to Rias must have changed my view on them. 


“I always hoped I was going to be the one turning you into a Devil after changing the Devil system. For years, I've worked towards that goal and hoped it would happen one day. But after a while, I started to give up.”


“Giving up?” I asked, surprised by that statement. “That's news to me.” 


“Because I started to dawn on me on just how impossible that goal was. Even my brother is far from accomplishing it with his vast powers and I… what can I even do a hundred years from now?” Her voice lost its strength. “He always told me that I had the talent to reach his level, but I know that was a lie. To truly change the Underworld and its system to reincarnated Devils, requires an unimaginable amount of power and time. By the time I come close to it, will you even be by my side? Back then, I believed you would stubbornly stay human, and sooner or later, I'd be too late. Then you kept getting closer and closer to Akeno, far more than I felt comfortable with.”


“We were a thing from the beginning,” I commented to which she agreed.


“I know, but jealousy can be hard to control for most devils. So I wanted to get closer to you, become a more familiar and present being in your life, so I stopped putting as much effort towards my goals than I’m willing to admit. I… I enjoyed our time together and became addicted to it.” 


“I enjoyed them as well.” 


Rias smiled, “I know you did.” 


With a sigh, I approached the girl. “I won't lie to you, back then, I created that condition fully hoping that someone like you wouldn't be able to accomplish it. I was glad you were gullible enough to accept it and never actually worried about you coming close to changing anything with a race like the Devils. It was to buy time, a plan that worked far too well for my liking.” That elicited a curious glance from the redhead, looking at me to elaborate on my words. 


“Well, I don't know when exactly, but doubts started to form within my mind. I changed and became a different person throughout all these years, you can say. I got to know you better, same with Koneko, Kiba, Asia, and your family. Got myself trapped into calling Grayfia big sister, confronted your parents on their negligence, and even chose violence while siding with the Devils. I can guarantee you that my past self would have never dreamt of such an outcome, he would never have gone this far for people he didn't trust.” 


I placed the box next to the table, opened the content, and picked up a random piece. 


Rias hummed, “You were a little jerk back then, and still are to some extent.”


“True, I am the worst.” 


There was no point in delaying this any more than necessary. Though she showed a smile on her face, her eyes told a completely different story. Knowing her, the woman would say something along the lines of, “I wish you the best with Sona.” or some other similar response. So best to avoid that and be direct with her, because I too was tired and fed up with this arrangement. 


‘Are you sure about this, partner?’ Vritra always had a hint of my next decision asked. His tone was much more grave and serious than before. ‘Unlike what I did with the Sitri heir, there is no going back if you were to do so personally.’


I knew the risks and consequences of my actions, and I had years to think about the pros and cons. At the end of the day, the pros slowly started to outweigh the cons and my personal desire started to go against my logical thinking. No different from sacrificing an integral part of my being… but who was I trying to fool but myself. I no longer cared about my humanity, having grown numb to such concepts with all the ridiculous events happening around me.


But most importantly, she deserved it while I still believed she was making a mistake by choosing me. 


“I don't believe asking for forgiveness is something I deserve. I initially wanted to save this as a gift for the moment you and Akeno graduated. Sounds corny but I'm bad with such things, so it was the only one I could come up with. Now, I don't want you to get into any misunderstandings, and want to see you happy.” I picked the pieces one by one and placed them before Rias whose eyes widened. “Six pieces, seven, or eight. Possibly even a single one with how weird my situation is. I'm curious to see it, Azazel would certainly be very curious and might put me on a gurney.”


“You fooled Sona,” she stated. “At the end of the day, her piece only served to gain a power boost rather than a pact.” 


“Another person whom I need to seek forgiveness from. I can imagine how pissed off she must be right now, but… that's a matter for another time. Right now, you are my priority, I can live with Sona hating my guts — I'm used to such things. But I'd find it troublesome for you to do so as well, not to mention how Akeno would be disappointed in me. I have to look out for my girlfriends and make sure they are happy, don't I?”


I joked, but I actually had no idea how I could even approach the Sitri heir in the future. Despite everything, she was still someone close to me. 


“If you're worried about a similar fate, don't. I don't seek a power boost from getting these pieces. I know it may be hard to believe the words of a terrible man like me, but I swear I'm saying this with utmost sincerity…” I closed my eyes, planning out my next phrase just to be sure everything went perfectly. 


My hands extended forward with a Pawn resting on my palm.


“Rias Gremory, can you make me part of your Peerage? I don't seek power, wealth, or influence. I'm not the best kind of member to have around but I'll try to make things work, I tend to attract tons of trouble without even trying, it seems I have a talent for making everyone mad at me for good reasons and I am a coward for waiting so long to ask you this.” Such words were accompanied by a chuckle from me, as I struggled to keep a straight face. “The only reason I'm here is because I want to use this opportunity to get closer to you and Akeno. More so than we already are, I want to commit the biggest sin imaginable and join your clique of popular students and want to feel included.” 


Ah… did I make her cry?


“But in all seriousness, I just don't care about being a human. I don't care about this ‘freedom’ I'm going to lose as a peerage member. I don't give the slightest care about becoming part of a messed up society of the Devils, which still has a long way to improve, and I don't mind becoming weak to holy energy. I've already been living such a life for so many years without even realizing it, excluding the holy energy weakness. I know what kind of person you are, Rias and I'm fully confident that I'll be safe in your hands — so I hope you accept my rather embarrassing confession.” 


My eyes were still closed, another act of cowardice that crept up at the last second. I always wondered what went through the mind of every boy or girl who invited their crush behind the school and then confessed their feelings. Fools I called them, one that brought some form of entertainment. 


Now here I was in a not-so-similar situation yet one that oddly fitted. 


I feared that I’d give up and mess things up further if I saw a disappointed look or one of disapproval at my request. Funny how fate worked, 


“—!?”


Thankfully my heart didn't suffer a heart attack as I felt a pair of soft lips press against my own. Her warm hands interlocked with mine as we held the pieces together as they came to rest upon my chest. No words needed to be exchanged between us at this moment. 


For I after a long time truly felt at peace. 


I heard her whisper, “Be mine from now until the end of time.” 


That made me smile. 


“Oi, you're making it sound like a vow between married couples. Shouldn't you say something along the lines of, “You'll protect your King with your life or I’ll spank you!”? I heard that phrase before.” 


“Idiot,” she replied, the scent of her hair filling my nose as her head came to rest close to my face where I felt her hands snake around me. “I'll be the one keeping you safe with how often you tend to get into trouble.” 


“Ah, I can't argue with that.” 


And soon, the room was filled with crimson light. Both of us have missed multiple pairs of eyes all around the room peeking at our conversation, from Kiba and Irina glancing through the door’s keyhole. Akeno and Koneko, using their familiars to get a better view, with Gasper hiding in the corner within his box, muttering how cute they looked.


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“Ara Ara, he sure took his sweet time.”