Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 96 (Patreon)

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 96

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Gold, limestone, and water.

That was the best, easiest way to describe the Pharaoh’s city as it sat next to the immense river that gave their civilization life.

“Wonderful, is it not?” Baket, the Anubis, stood next to me near the ship’s prow. We were circling around the city lazily and attracted no attention whatsoever from the citizenry living their lives below. Our ship was one of dozens floating through the sky. Most were carrying cargo of one sort or another while busy individuals walked through the city’s many streets. It was nothing like the sleepy villages. “All the cities of the Pharaohs are like this. This is but one of dozens.”

“It’s impressive.” I couldn’t lie. The entire city looked like an Egyptian, fantasy version of a modern city. There were clear divides between districts, the streets were being maintained and cleaned, and hundreds of thousands of people were working alongside one another. It almost felt like looking at Japan. “How many cities like this do the Apophis have?”

Baket’s smile faded at that single question.

“The same number as us.” The Anubis shook her head, her curtain of straight, raven hair swaying to and fro. Her furred grasp on her golden serpent staff tightened, while her tail suddenly straightened and went still. Her hazel gaze met my own eyes. “It was good that you reported the Apophis’s actions to us. Though you should not have accepted their invitation to meet, I believe that your concerns about the Apophis, Miriam, are valid and shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

“It’s good to be cautious.” I wanted to be a bit harsher, but I didn’t want to ruin all of Kurama’s work.  Telling Baket that the Pharaohs should just bite the bullet and attack definitively would be foolish, even if that was what they should be doing. In a war with endless armies and near-endless supplies, a strategic advantage at the very start could easily change the course of the war. So, I kept my mouth shut… a little. “What would you do in the Pharaoh’s stead? If you could, of course.”

“I would never dare to assume such power, but if I was asked, I would bow my head before the Pharaohs and beg them to attack the Apophis. The longer we let them do as they will, the more supporters they gain, and the more unlikely our victory becomes.” Baket bowed her head as she spoke of her leaders. A few passing servants did the same. When your rulers were immortal and had immense power, I could only suppose that there was only one way for things to progress societally. “The paradise they have granted us… cannot be sacrificed to make war upon the rest of the world.”

I was tempted to ask if all the Pharaohs remaining actually thought that, since half of them already became Apophis. However, once again, I decided against speaking for Kurama’s sake. I was fine with making more work for myself, but I drew the line at messing things up for others and letting them clean up. If I was going to run my mouth, then I was going to deal with the consequences myself.

Anyway, I relied on an old, reliable phrase to get out of the conversation.

“I see.” I delivered it with the same deadpan as a certain, Goblin-obsessed fanatic. Hm. If he existed here, would he be an expert on “laying” Goblins instead of slaying them. I suppose that it would depend on whether or not he was part of the Empire. He’d definitely go the original route with just a few cosmetic changes if he was part of that loony bin. If he were born amongst the Kindred… yeah, he’d probably just be another mindless stud. “Interesting.”

I was about to retreat coolly from the situation when Baket suddenly spoke again.

“…What would you do, if you were in my place? You rule over a city yourself, do you not, Lord Hachiman?” Baket squirmed in place and looked from side to side. She reminded me of Ashe. They had the same body type, though the Anubis’s canine features ended at her elbows and knees instead, and she had a light tan instead of charcoal grey. My Hellhound, however, was never shy or hesitant, while the Anubis was blushing up a storm. “T-though I suppose our stations are more alike, as our Pharaohs are more like your Demon Lords.”

Oh.

She was embarrassed because she was asking a younger peer for advice.

I would be too.

I thought about the question for a while, before coming up with a truthful answer that also worked off my reputation.

“I’d try to start a war and bring everyone else into it. I almost succeeded in doing that, actually.” It would be strange for me to give any other kind of advice. Anyone who looked at my achievements would know what I did in the first months I had Ylstu. It was all about making up a strike force that could turn the entire continent into a warzone in the Kindred’s favor, so that the Empire would do. “If that doesn’t work, and I don’t get killed for it, I’d do everything in my power to give my boss the decisive edge they can use to win. Which is what I’m doing now, I guess.”

My words made Baket go still.

I suppose that reading about my actions was one thing and hearing them from me directly was another.

Anyway, I could see all sorts of questions in her head, but the one that I expected the most came forth.

“You were willing to betray the person who saved you for your vengeance?” Baket’s words were a whisper as she spoke to me. I was surprised by them, too. Technically, my actions then could be seen as a betrayal of Roseanne’s trust… but it wasn’t. I was on the front and it was my duty to protect my territory. I’d just decided then that attacking was the best way to do that, while accepting the fact I’d die if Roseanne didn’t think the same way. “Why?”

I thought about explaining the differences between how things worked amongst Roseanne’s Kindred, but Baket most likely knew that. It was likely that she knew of my past with the Empire too… yet she was actually asking why I would do it anyway. That was because, in her culture and her society, someone in my circumstances wouldn’t have done such things. Out of gratitude and respect for the Pharaoh that saved them, they’d be the perfect administrator and help maintain the status quo while putting their head down.

They’d do what was right as naturally as breathing… just like Baket did.

However, while she was an administrator of a territory like me, I was renowned in other nations, sent to be a representative of Roseanne, and had a Ylstu under my control, even though I really shouldn’t.

I could be reading too much into things, but I provided her the answer.

“Because the Empire needs to die, with the magic that they use forgotten forever, and their culture utterly wiped out.” I was calmer nowadays. I wasn’t going out of my way to take every possible risk. My plans were more controlled, long-term, and practically. However, my goal was still the same. Anyway, condensed into a single aspect, the reason why I was so beyond Baket, despite starting far later than her, was simple: “You need to have a goal. Something to drive yourself forward regardless of what anyone thinks, and when people complain, you show them results that they can’t deny.”

I left my peer to think on my words, while ruminating on them myself.

Honestly, it was more due to Roseanne being kind and smart that I was alive. If I was working for a stupid tyrant… I would be dead a thousand times over.

Seeing the state of the Pharaoh’s great Empire though, and the fact that so many of them were willing to stage a revolution to change their country… Well, I thought that Baket had a decent chance of being slapped on the wrist like me for whatever she did to advance her own, personal goal.

Though, admittedly, she’d have to find a goal to live for, fight for, and commit to for the rest of her life to.

That was pretty hard when you didn’t have a hilariously evil opponent willing to ruin your life.

Oh.

Wait.

Did I just put that Anubis on the path to being me for the Pharaohs against the Apophis?

Ah, well.

It wasn’t my problem… or, at least, I hoped it wasn’t.

…

The Pharaoh’s palace was an entire Pyramid and it was probably the most ludicrous thing I’d ever seen.

The Pyramid towered over the rest of the city like a small mountain. It was easily fifteen stories tall and most of the surrounding buildings around it was barely two stories height. The topmost part was covered in gold and had rotating, azure flames circling around it, while its four sides were covered in pure, white limestone engraved with hieroglyphs.

I honestly thought it was dumb idea, until I walked through its massive gates and felt a cool breeze flow over me… and then I realized the insides were bigger than its outsides as I walked into a long, lavishly decorated hallway… with only one door at the other end of it. A defensive chokepoint covered in flowing tapestries and carpet, but a chokepoint nonetheless.

Not something you’d find in a palace.

Kurama leaned in close upon noticing my confusion, as we sat together on a floating palanquin and floated down the length of the killzone.

“The Pyramids are the source of a Pharaoh’s power. It is where they rule, where they use their magic, and where they shall fight should war break out. Their finest weapon and their strongest form of defense.”

“So, I’m not in a palace. I’m in the literal seat of the Pharaoh’s power.” My words caused Kurama to smile and gesture to A’Bel. My Demon would have to tell me more if I wanted to know more, but I set that thought aside and addressed our hostess. Baket the Anubis was walking ahead and leading the floating palanquins. “Hey, what’re the rules of this place, so we don’t get ourselves killed?”

Kurama sighed and Tanis mimicked her right behind us. A’Bel giggled while Reiser shook her head and sighed.

“You are guests of the Pharaoh. No harm shall befall you within his halls.” Baket spoke with absolute certainty and kept her eyes on front. Her voice was cool and controlled, but her tail started wagging ever-so-slightly at the question I sent her way. Her poker face had a critical weakness. “Do not imply otherwise, Lord Hikigaya.”

“Kay.”

My response earned me a pout and a slap on my shoulder on behalf of Kurama, but she snuggled next to me a moment later. The Anubis’s ears twitched a little towards us, but she didn’t move anything else. Still, I felt the palanquins just move a little faster. I guess even Kindred could get tired of a situation being too sweet.

Thanks to the slight speed boost we reached the end of the hall and passed another gate… into a lobby filled with gates and stairwells that stretched upward and downward. With a passing glance above and below, I counted the number of “floors” within the pyramid and counted thirty rings of gates and stairs.

Meaning there was a thirty-story tall cylinder inside a fifteen-story pyramid… and I was sure the circumference of the pyramid was already filled by the “lobby” meaning the rooms beyond each of the gates should be outside. I was glad that I was terrible at math, because I would probably die of heart attack if I understood anything more about the pyramid’s insides than I already did.

With my limited knowledge, I managed to protect my sanity and utter a single “neat” at the sight of it all.

That word earned me another light brush against my arm and a giggle from Kurama, which in turn sped up our journey a little bit more.

The Anubis took us forward, to a relatively nondescript gate, until she passed an unseen threshold. The simple gate fell away and became immense, golden doors that stretched to dwarf one of the apartment blocks I commissioned, and it opened without so much as a touch on the Anubis’s behalf.

Beyond it lay a great hall bedecked for celebration. A feast was laid out on over a dozen tables, while lesser nobility milled about with entourages at their heels. Performers juggled, breathed fire, and performed dances in the air. Servants attended to every need one had, taking their guests into private rooms hidden away in shadow if necessary.

Kurama stiffened as every gaze settled upon us immediately.

But my attention was solely upon the single individual sitting at the other end of the room on a throne.

My eyes met the Pharaoh’s from across the massive room… when I tilted my neck a bit down.

Well.

I suppose since immortal loli-babas were a thing in this world, so were immortal Shotas.