News: Lost In Austin? - Transcript (Patreon)

This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. I’m going to respond to an article that appeared in ABC 13 dot com from local Houston affiliate KTRK. Written by Deborah Wrigley. Called Sex robot brothel planned for Houston comes to a halt amid allegations owner misrepresented business.

So here we are again. Another day, another sex doll brothel shut down because of pearl clutching moral busy bodies. 

Clearly sex doll brothels threaten the wholesome family values of Houston Texas. 

Did you know Houston Texas has over 5 different sex toy shops, and over 20 massage parlors and over 20 strip clubs? 20 is only the maximum that Google Maps would let me load at a time, and I didn’t care enough to find the precise number, but it's definitely more than 20 for each.

However, it’s it interesting that the pearl clutchers aren’t shutting down the dozens of strip clubs, massage parlors, and sex toy shops that already blanket Houston.

All of those are fine, but not sex dolls. No, sex dolls threaten the moral fabric of Houston somehow.

So what happened? Besides the gynocentric double standards of course.

In short the brothel owner made the same mistake as the one from Canada did, in that he lied to the property owner about the nature of his business, and didn’t get the proper licenses and certifications to open up an adult-based business.

 Now, I think this might actually be the same guy from Canada because it mentions in the article that Kinky Dolls is based in Toronto. I suspected last time that he was using the controversy and temporary shut down to milk free advertising, and if I’m right, then this guy has found the viral marketing strategy that people will be talking about in business school for years to come.

According to the article, the brothel was closed because the business owner lied to the property owner about the nature of his business, claiming he was building an art gallery. He also lacked construction permits to renovate the interior of the building.

In theory, Kinky Dolls should have known this would happen, since this is exactly what happened in Canada recently, which is why I suspect this is a marketing strategy.

Kinky Dolls will now move to an appropriate area of Houston, probably close to one of its dozens of strip clubs or sex toy shops, and enjoy the viral marketing.

The article notes that Houston is looking into changing the law regarding sexually-oriented businesses, but since the sex toy ban was overturned in 2008 as violating the 14th amendment, this is a hollow threat at best. The best the religious right can do is pass a ban that will be challenged and overturned in short order.

So while Kinky Dolls won’t be opening within the next few weeks, rest assured they will be opening soon, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop them.

So why don’t you make like a sex doll and get fucked.

This is Selestina. Sex doll correspondent for TFM News. Signing off.