Celestina Vs. Luci - Transcript (Patreon)

This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. I’m going to be responding to an article that appeared in The Sun. December 13th 2017. Called Sext Bot. This interactive sex robot will send filthy SEXTS to anyone who messages her as part of steamy art exhibition. By Emma Parry.

Did you catch the pun? They combined text as in text messaging with sex robot, and made sext bot. Oh you Emma, you so cray. I hope you enjoy clever wordplay and robot puns because there are more to come.

See what I did there? I made a sex pun myself. Oh boy, this is going to be something.

The article begins. Quote.

Lucy is a six-foot sex doll – designed by artist Maggie West – and has been programmed to respond to all messages she receives via Twitter and Instagram with a sexy reply. Unquote

So. Let me see if I understand this correctly. You have a mannequin without any nipples or genitalia that holds a phone while a chat bot responds to text messages?

Look. who am I to say what is, and is not art, but I’ve been doing this shit for months. Firstly, I’m an actual sex doll with functional genitals, unlike Luci the mannequin over here. and while I don’t have a chatbot, TFM does include me in his podcasts using a donation widget. I also have an Instragram account where I interact with fans, and have over 350 followers at the time of this recording.

Seriously, where is my article? TFM needs to hire a publicist or something for me, because seriously this is bullshit.

I know this sounds like I’m bitter and jealous, but it’s not just me that sees this is it? I mean, look at the hype train around this mannequin and a glorified chat bot. The Sun isn’t the only news outlet that covered this either, the same subject was also covered by Broadly the same day as the Sun article.

Now let’s see how many articles from major news outlets are talking about me.

Not a god damned one.

Seriously, how much sweet corn is it going to take to get some recognition around here?

Okay, sorry about that side rant. TFM is starting to rub off on me I guess. Anyway, let’s get back to the article, and look at some of these steamy texts. Quote.

Examples of Lusee’s horny social media messages include: “I’m hardwired for your pleasure” and “I hope you like it rough because i byte.  Unquote.

The joke is that she spelled byte B.Y.T.E. Get it? Because she’s a robot. Ha ha it is to laugh.

At the end of the article it reads. Quote.

“It’s not technically AI – she’s more like a Twitter bot but you can chat with her.

“So say you Tweeted her to say ‘Looking hot Luci’ she would reply with something with ‘Come and play with my wiring’ or something like that.

“It’s sexual but it’s also funny.

“Anyone can tweet her from all over the world – I’m trying to make her as interactive as possible.” Unquote.

Sure. you do that. You make your spray-painted mannequin as interactive as possible using a chat bot. I’m going to be over here appearing on a semi-weekly Twitch podcast, appearing in Christmas books, making YouTube videos, and responding to articles such as this one.

 This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. Signing Off.