NTR Quest - Odyssey 23 - Help Amun (Patreon)

Ever since Djir almost killed Amun, the Aniyub had not stopped training. At any time where his services weren't needed Amun was found training in an out of the way spot in the courtyard and Cyani was found nearby, watching. The implications were obvious but despite this, Djir never seemed worried. When you asked him what he would do if Amun decided to return to side with his sister he simply shook his head.
“That's completely impossible.”

“Why? Given time-”

Djir shot you a look that soul-shaking, though it was only for an instant before his expression returned to it's calm state. The emotion that was conveyed to you in that instant was indifference. Amun had been removed from his mind completely, and though Djir still utilized Amun for day to day tasks, the boy was even more like a ghost haunting Djir than before. What he said to follow that look was even more unnerving.
“That boy? He's completely dependent on me. Make no mistake, I killed him what I decided he should die. That's true for Amun, too. If you hadn't convinced me to retract my decision he would've allowed himself to die. If he somehow lived, he would finish the job himself. He was useful, and I liked him, but the things he did to affect you without thinking... He thought they were for me. That's a mistake I should only let him make once. All he had to do was follow my words as he had always done.” He exhaled sharply from his nose.

“You think I'm a monster, I can tell.” You were silent. He noticed your reaction.
“You...” He turned to face you with a dark expression.
“Are the only one I give space to. Everything you do makes me interested in you. The things you say make me happy and your body... Your body is something that I love as well. Beyond that-” Djir shakily lifted his paws and held them near you without touching.
“It feels like... For me there's this Aura around you that I can't touch. I'm afraid to do something wrong because I fear that you wont forgive me because in some ways it feels like where our souls are concerned I've already wronged you and you already decided to never forgive me. How strange is that?”He chuckled lightly.

“But then... There's another part. It's a part that I'm afraid to touch and afraid to hurt but also I feel comfortable in your presence in a way that I never thought I could because just being near you somehow reminds me of a warm embrace that I don't remember.”

You took both his hands in yours and pulled them around your back, then reached up and pulled his head down so you could embrace him around his large neck. He knelt down to accommodate you. He hugged you tightly, pulling you in further. You sighed, remembering the odd vision.

'Was that an Echo? Why was it of a woman and Djir? Where was I?' You stroked the back of his neck gently.

“I... Feel for Amun.” His grip around you tightened more as you said that.
“Are you upset?”

“Sorry for him, you mean?”

“That's right.”

He sighed heavily, his grip loosening. “I- I don't ever want to hear you say you have feelings for another man. Never.” Djir said seriously.
“I don't want to see it or hear about it.”

“But... You were so willing to let me be with Jeane and Teuta? Seems like you encourage it. I'm confused.”

“Neither of us can have children. I- I can't.”

“You can't?”

“I don't WANT to. Women disgust me. I hate them. I don't want to have a woman just to have a child. I'll feel sick to have to make a performance like that where I mate with something I can't stand, then allow that woman and the product of that act to remain in my sight. I always thought that I'd disappear before I had to do that. But...”

“But?” You asked curiously as he paused.

“But.. If it was you and your child and your woman. I might be able to stand it. I think I could love it if it was a part of you and not... Me.”

“I see.” You felt an intense aura emanating from him as he spoke. Every word was intentional. Every thought was serious.
“I don't like Amun, but I do want to help him.” You felt a release of pressure from him.

“Then it's fitting for you to do it. I don't mind. His life might as well belong to you since you're the one who saved him. Just remember what I said.”

You furrowed your brow and felt tested. Stubbornly you asked, as Djir released you and you began to walk away.
“What if I do so anyway.”

“Then I'll kill him, regardless of what you say.” The feel was the same. Every word intentional.
“You can hate me after that if you like... But I would have to do that if you told me you loved him.” Djir warned.

“I-I've been...” He suddenly seemed very nervous, like he said something he shouldn't have.
“I think I've been pretty accommodating and open with you. If you'll let me have that one, selfish condition I'd appreciate it, Fin.” Before you could answer he turned and retreated into his room. You cringed and stared out a nearby window at the training grounds.

“Well I don't... Love him, that is.” You muttered to yourself.

'But he still became so worried and flustered at the mere thought of that happening. I should be careful of any misunderstandings. Djir seems serious in everything he says regarding Amun.'

You descended the stairs and caught Teuta and Jeane walking side by side with their arms locked. You lifted a brow.
“You two became close.” You got to the bottom of the steps. They each let go to step up and give you a small, short kiss and a hug. You squeezed Teuta's rear for good measure and make your embrace with Jeane a bit longer for her tastes.

“It is only natural. She and I spend most of our time together.”

“And we share a bed!” Teuta grinned, returning to hang off Jeane once you had released her. Jeane blushed at the exclamation from the priestess.

You smirked. “What type of things do you two get up to when I'm not there, I wonder?”

“O-oh... You know.” Jeane blushed even deeper. Teuta covered her mouth to laugh.

You felt relieved that they were doing alright without you constantly being at their side. You worried about them. Between being Djir's attendant, nights were also split, so about two or three nights a week were spent with them but the rest were spent with Djir. You had continued to have regular sex with both. You had both gotten used to being fucked by a rather dominant Gnoll, and tending to his needs, and having him tend to yours. Despite how he acted, Djir was very giving whenever you asked and very open to not having sex at all, if you chose.
“Where are you two off to?” They were dressed in garb typically reserved for higher-class members of Garm society. Likely items that they had been given.

“Oh. Djir lends us an escort to go out into the market. We do not actually need protection, but the presence of a guard means that we are never bothered.” Jeane explains.

“That's good. Are you able to buy things here?”

“Thanks to you. We're given an allowance so far. Apparently it's a lot. We assumed it was because you said something. Still, to having him go so far just because you asked. He must really like you, hehe.” Teuta grinned.

You nodded. “I see.” Though you knew it was not the case.

'Truthfully... I did”t think to ask for something like that. I feel inconsiderate now.' You glanced up the steps.
'But then, that means Djir organized something like that on his own without me even asking...'

Jeane leaned in to whisper. “By the way... You heard the news, right?”

“I assume you mean Fiona's reconquest?” You knew about that because of being at Djir's side in the Senate constantly, but you were surprised they found out. Still, if they had been out in the Market then that means they would pick out gossip and if they were able to figure it out from just that, it means the news is actually far more widespread than you would have thought.

“What is he expecting you to do in that regard?”

“He opened up about wanting me to oppose her, but at the same time I just can't believe that I'm just being used... When he talks to me everything that he wants me to do sounds like it's to my benefit, even if it's helping him explicitly.”

“Aren't you just describing manipulation, just with so many words?” Teuta asked.

“Well-”

Jeane sighed. “You seem very aware of what he's doing. Maybe you just don't want to accept it?”

“He doesn't seem like a-” You stopped yourself and grimaced.
“T-to me he doesn't seem bad.”

Teuta cocked her head to one side. “We haven't got to a point where you've really tested him, have we? Because you usually do whatever he wants.”

Jeane added. “Fin, I gather that he treats you very specially. The question we need to ask is: Is he treating you special because wants to, or is he simply holding himself back?”

You pondered that idea and remembered all of the things you had seen him do. The things you know he did and the things he promised to do.

“I'll think about it. Thank you, you two.” You gave them each one final kiss to see them off.

You left the Manor through the back and made your way into the garden. Through the little maze of waist-high flower bushes you found the out of the way section of the grounds where Amun trained himself beneath the shade of a large tree. Cyyani was seated on a bench nearby, observing him. Before approaching Amun you sat down next to her.
“What have you been up to?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Have you heard of what's been happening back home?”

“Bits and pieces.” She shrugged her shoulders, then rolled her neck, cracking it with a deep sigh.
“The more news I get from back home, the more like your sister and the less I like you.”

“Just because I'm closer to Djir than I am with you?”

“Just?” She rolled her eyes and looked at you straight on.
“Do you even know what position you're in?” She waved in your general direction.
“Well... You're not a Gnoll so far as I can tell so you should know that he considers you a project. A pet to be.” She taunted, leaning forward to whisper into your hear. Her arm draped around your shoulders.
“You saw how he treated my brother. For what? A mistake? How loyal had he been up until that point. After betraying his family, his people. He devoted his life only for that to happen.” She turned.
“Look at him now. Still wagging his tail for them. That's what Garm is. It's a machine that breeds pets for Gnolls. Their whole Empire has the guise of providing safety for all the peoples under their umbrella but so far as I'm concerned their relationship to their non-Gnoll subjects is the same as Djir's relationship to Amun... And you, very soon.” You just sat quietly and listened.
“Each vassal underneath Garm wags it's tail for scraps. If you devote yourself fully you get favorable treatment. You get the possibility of becoming integrated down the line, but in reality it's the same as that time... You make a mistake. You do something they don't like then boom. Suddenly you are out.” Her mouth moved close to your ear and her breath tickled it like the thin tongue of a snake tasting the air.
“I wager that he courted my brother the same way he's courting you now. He whispered promises. Promises of love, of glory and freedom of his people from our Matriarchy. Then you people come along... Then we lose control of our own lands and suddenly Amun is no longer needed. You think it's strange that he got tossed away so easily? Well, I don't think so. I think it is so obvious that I'm surprised you could be so stupid.” She grinned as she spoke.
“You are not even the 'king' of fools. More like a jester for your new master. Wag your tail for him some more. See how it helps you when you do a single thing that he can't tolerate.”

You were so engrossed in what she was saying. Just staring down with wide eyes as she spoke assertively into your ear. You did not notice the shadow slipping between you two. You looked up once she was done to see Amun standing, blocking the sun from your eyes with his silhouette. He seemed neither amused nor perturbed. The male bent down and grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him and walking away into the shade.
“Why'd you pull me away?”

“Because it looked like you may be listening.” He answered flatly.

“Is she lying?”

“In some instances there is a grain of truth, but she waters that grain and grows it beyond recognition.”

“So... Where's the truth? Are you willing to tell me?”

“Yes.” He said sadly.

You looked at him curiously. “You... Don't want to.”

“It- It would benefit me if you doubted him. If you believed everything she said. But not him.” Amun admitted. That answer alone seemed to confirm some of the grains that he spoke of. Amun was so devoted, despite almost dying, that he would not even be able to spite you for his own sake if it hurt Djir. before you could open your mouth to urge him to go on he spoke.
“Djir courted me. I felt like I was special. The only one in the world that he could look at. So... I of course gave him my everything.” Your heart sank.

“If that's true, then-”

“But he never once looked at me the way he looked at you. Djir is capable of all of the things my sister claimed, but something she can not consider is how earnest he is. To an outsider who only sees the 'truth' as it appears, you and I are the same but you and I are not the same. I lost to you the moment he laid eyes upon you at that party. When I saw the way he looked at you, as someone that had been by his side for so long I knew it immediately. He does feel for you in ways he never did for anyone else.”

Your heart thumped heavily in your chest. “You- You are a bit of an unreliable narrator, you understand? You said yourself that you'll only say something to benefit him, even if it kills you. The only take-away I can get from your words is-”

“Is that he loves you.” Amun said seriously. He gritted his teeth, sharp canines being bared.
“You have everything that I want... Have you also considered that I should have every right to desire to hurt you and sabotage you?”

“So then why?”

“I haven't accepted yet that you are going to be the one that he will love and spend his time with happily. But if I live to see it I may at least be able to at least hold a piece of that in my heart and be happy for you and the one that I love. I will not gain his affection if you do not. I do not think there will be another soul that he will see like that. So, if you do not accept it then I too will never be able to at least witness what it looks like...”

You cringed. “Do you have any idea how sad that is?” Amun did not seem moved one way or another. His look said that he acknowledged that and did not care.

“Living so hard for another that the only happiness you can even imagine for yourself is that which they have with another person?”

“I do not expect you to understand.” Amun said sternly.

“I can't understand it!” You shouted at him. He did not flinch, but his ears twitched and his tail moved.
“Because I also told Djir that if he doesn't choose correctly around me at a crucial point... I could not guarantee that I would still stay with him.”

“You-” Amun bared his fangs again.

You shot him down quickly. “Yeah. I would refuse him. Because maybe what he needs is not someone that will do every single thing he wants to make him happy.” You remembered the echo you had, and all the time you spent with him.
“Maybe he's just lonely and confused and wants a chance. I can't give him a chance unless I also make my own boundaries clear. Maybe I'll be missing out on something really nice, or maybe I would trigger something that I can't go back from. So be it. I am a Hero and I am my own person. I decide the place I want to be in.”

Amun began to tear up. “I can see now why I was not good enough.”

You exhaled deeply and patted him gently between his big, dark ears. “It's not about being good enough. You're a good guy, Amun, so maybe you also deserve a chance?” As you smiled at him the Aniyub seemed stunned. His soft lips quivered and his cheeks became red. His eyes looked away from you, down a bit and to the left.

“You are going to give me the chance as well?”

You nodded. “That's ri-” Your eyes widened and your body froze as Amun suddenly bent forward, held your shoulders and kissed you on the lips. It was far different from Kissing Djir. For one Amun was more close physically to a Human so he did have lips and a mouth and a nose like yours. Kissing Djir was more like kissing an animal. On top of that, Amun's body was very slender and his face and skin were fair. His lips were as soft as any other woman's you had touched recently. Then, once the surprise wore off the panic set in. Djir's promise entered your mind and you saw again the scene in the lobby where Amun was so close to dying.
“S-stop!” You pushed him off of you.

Amun blinked. “I-I thought...” He looked down, seeming to be spinning internally as he wobbled where he sat.
“So- so sorry... I just did it without thinking.” You leaned back and slumped down where the two of you were seated.

“It's not that.” You rubbed your eyes and the bridge of your nose.
“Djir promised to kill you if I said I loved you.”

“Do you?” Amun asked, leaning forward curiously.

“No.” Your face felt hot. As you looked at him, the thought occurred and the words came without you really meaning to say them.
“You are just- just very cute.”

“I See.” Amun leaned back and rested his hands on his knees, unsure what to do with that info.

“But if it got out that...”

A similar shadow loomed over the two of you and made you pause. “That you kissed my Brother.” Cyyani finished that thought, standing over your with her arms crossed smugly.
“It would be very bad, wouldn't it?”

You stared her down. “The only person that would be harmed is Amun! You wouldn't.”

She scoffed. “So you are saying you will just stand by while Djir kills him? How cruel... It's your fault he kissed you, right? You could've stopped him.”

You gulped. “That- that's not true. The kiss did not even mean I love him...”

“You didn't answer. Seems like you'll just watch Amun die.” Cyyani lifted a thick brow.

Amun looked at you. “Do not allow her to use me as a bargaining chip. You do not love me. Djir is very precise with his words, he will understand. I will simply be punished. I may not be-”

“May?” You groaned.
“I don't want Amun to die. I don't want Amun to get punished.”

“So it seems like we should be ganging up on Djir for his sake, and ours. The three of us together could kill him. I have been thinking that through for a while and it is quite possible. If we add your two girlfriends, it's a piece of cake to get out of this place alive, too.”

“I'm not going to do that, either.”

“If I tell on you, Djir will probably act right away.”

“You think he'll believe you?”

“If he inspects me for deceit after I tell him I saw you and my Brother having a heartfelt chat under the shade of a tree during mid-day, followed by a passionate kiss...” She grinned.
“Do you think he'll find that to be a lie.”

“That is so-” You shook your head.
“If you tell him, I will absolutely not go along with your plan.” As you said that, she narrowed her eyes at you.
“I know what you're going to say, but if you go to Djir it is not going to be me that killed your brother, it'll be you. You will have given him the information under those pretenses. So I'm not going to be threatened. Sorry, Amun.” You nodded to him.

Amun returned the nod. “I believe that is correct. If she is using this information, then it would be her fault for my death even if Djir swung hammer at the execution. So what do you say, Sister?”

A bead of sweat rolled down her brow. Her expression cracked. “Ugh... You two are insufferable.” A smile remained on her plush lips as she sat down across from you both.
“But...  Even if I say nothing, this is a small property. Back that way, you were standing there yourself and you could see that this spot was in view and it is a window that is right outside the door into Djir's room.” You knew that he retreated into his room last you saw him. It would not have been odd for him to open the door and be confronted with the sight whether he meant to or not.
“Plus, all of the workers here report to him. If one of them saw it they would relay what they saw, not the circumstances. If that  happens then he'll get a far less charitable view of things, since it also means he'll be hearing it from someone else first.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked.

She relented. “Because I don't want my idiot brother to become a corpse. I was bluffing... I hoped you would just go along with the plan to gang up on Djir. Now that I know you wont... How are you going to handle this?” She stared at you intensely.

“I could tell him. I would tell him exactly how it happened. I would be telling the truth if I said it was something sudden, and that I do not actually love Amun. Djir said he would Kill another man if he found that I loved them.”

Cyyani nodded. “But... There's the manner in which you admit to this that will also change the result.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you JUST relay what happened, it is very obvious my stupid brother took initiative to kiss you. If you think about it from Djir's perspective, wouldn't he want to kill Amun on the spot for messing with what's his?”

“You still think he's treating me like property...” You grumbled.

“Is he not? What's that about him promising to kill any other man you love, if not possessiveness?”

“So then what?”

“If you take the blame... You will have to weather whatever consequences arise.” Cyyani advised.

You looked at her strangely. “If I do that isn't it the same result? He would kill Amun because I had eyes for him and initiated a kiss.”

“If Djir doesn't think about Amun as a 'rival man' he may think differently. You think my Brother is cute, right?”

You glanced away awkwardly. “I- I mean...”

“Yeah.” Se stared at you like you were insane.
“Anyway... If you play up the fact that Amun just looked so much like a girl, and take responsibility after that then there is a chance. It's not even that outlandish... In Gnoll culture, lesser males crossdressing and being considered female is fairly common. It's because most Beastfolk, you included, would probably look to have the same builds as the women when compared with the frame of the Gnolls.” Cyyani shrugged.
“Your choice. If my brother dies it's on you and him now.” She stood up and dusted herself off. As she was about to walk away she glanced back over her shoulder and said.
“Or should I say 'her?' Yuck...” She shuddered just looking at him and imagining it.