Bethany the Doll, Part 5 (Patreon)

Bethany walked cautiously behind Cindy as she led her down the shining interior of the imaginary vessel. Bethany walked behind the woman nervously. She had suddenly transformed into a different person twice since she had arrived, and Bethany was on on guard lest she should abruptly change again. Bethany decided to follow at a short distance. Cindy didn't seem to mind.

She led Bethany down the corridor and through a set of sliding double doors. The room beyond was clearly the ship's bridge. It had no view-screen. Instead the clean metallic floors and polished steel walls suddenly ended, creating the illusion that the room was open to space. Bethany gasped when she saw the stars. They were so numerous that the cold, dark abyss of space seemed crowded with them. They were crammed into every available inch of the inky void, so that it seemed to be strung with tiny diamonds. Two unfamiliar planets hung suspended in the middle distance, half-illuminated by the light of a sun that seemed to be somewhere behind the ship. There was one that seemed covered with oceans and obscured by gray clouds, another smaller one orbiting the first that seemed to be covered in a deep green dotted with lakes. It was so beautiful that Bethany simply stood and stared for a few moments, before she remembered that she wasn't alone. In the center of the bridge, sitting in winged-back swivel chair that seemed to be constructed entirely of polished silver, sat Madison. She was wearing a bright red form-fitting uniform similar to Cindy's, although the rows of polished pips, chevrons, and medals that ran across her chest on a silk sash seemed to indicate a difference in rank.

“I...guess you must be the captain?” asked Bethany, once she had recovered enough from her awe.

“You got it! I made you my first mate, at least for now. I hope that's alright?” said Madison. Bethany glanced down at herself, noticing for the first time that her outfit had also changed. Her doll's dress had become a red uniform similar to Madison's with just a shade less decoration. She felt weird having her clothing once again changed for her, but at least this looked more dignified than what she had been wearing.

“But no need to be formal in here, Bethany. Just plain old Madison is fine. Sit down, take a load off! You're among friends here. Care for a glass of wine?”

Bethany rubbed her temples. She felt light-headed from dealing with so many transitions. Wine was actually sounding nice right around now. “Sure. Thanks.” she said, settling into a swivel chair next to Madison's. She examined the panel of buttons and constantly-changing numbers that presumably indicated the status of Madison's imaginary vessel. She couldn't even guess what function whoever was supposed to sit here was supposed to serve. Cindy took a seat opposite her, close enough so that they could sit and chat while the majesty of the imaginary universe drifted past in front of them. Madison rose, left, and returned shortly with three crystal glasses and a bottle of dark red wine. She delicately poured a glass for Cindy and Bethany before serving herself.

“Cheers.” she said solemnly before taking a sip. Bethany followed suit, pausing for a moment to savor the rich, complex flavor. Like everything else Madison's imagination had conjured for her, it was utterly delicious. Sweet, with a bold bouquet and just a whisper of bitterness. It was a clearly and unambiguously adult drink, and Bethany felt she deserved it after being treated like a toy all day.

Cindy crossed her legs before taking a long, regal sip. “Lovely as always, Madison.”

“Thanks. I always keep a bottle of the good stuff in my ready room for special occasions.”

Bethany blinked. “What's the occasion?”

“Your arrival, of course!” said Cindy, smiling warmly. “You have no idea how happy we are to have you with us here.”

“So...so now that we're under your bed, pretending that we're on a spaceship...we can actually talk to each other like adults?” asked Bethany, more to run it through her mind one more time than to actually request clarification.

“It's like rain on your wedding day.” remarked Madison, sipping her wine.

“Yes...only this is a genuine example of irony, rather than a mere misfortune.” explained Cindy. She seemed to be shifting into a lecture-like tone, which was doubly strange after watching her get spanked and put in diapers for breaking a lamp. “You see, in a very real sense, every act of pretending...of roleplaying...is also an act of revealing something about one's self. You can't really play a character without showing your true self on some level. Playing is being, and being is playing.”

Bethany cocked an eyebrow. “Well, why play a character at all? Couldn't you just act like your real self, all the time?”

No.” said Cindy flatly. “Because there is no such thing. No one gets to be their entire, real self all at the same time. Different situations require us to put on different personas and act in different ways. Did you know that 'persona' is actually the Ancient Greek for 'mask'? The masks we put on are how we show each other who we really are.”

“Sooo...you're actually a... Bimbo? That doesn't really make sense.”

“That's a persona I put on. In my actual life, before I came here, I was a project manager for a construction company. I had to always be the 'brains' of the outfit, always telling other people what to do and trying to absorb all the information they threw at me. I was very good at it, even if I do say so myself. But it does wear on you. I've had these fantasies for a long time about getting to just mentally put my feet up and let everyone else do all the thinking and planning and decision-making while I get to just space out and bask in unfiltered approval. Hence, the whole Bimbo thing.”

Bethany squinted as she tried to work her way through that.

“I'm sorry. I just...this is a lot to take in all at once.”

Cindy put up her hands. “I completely understand, and I'm really sorry that today has been so rough on you. I think we both just expected you to be pretty much just like Linda and Jackie, and enjoy the same sort of treatment that they liked.”

Bethany took a long breath in to steady herself. “What treatment? Picking me up and waving me around in the air?”

“I really am sorry about that! I tend be pretty tactile when I'm in Bimbo mode. When I like someone, I just want to run up and give them a big hug! And the fact that I can pick you up makes it even better! I know that's not an excuse...I should have checked with you first. I'm sorry.”

Bethany sipped her wine thoughtfully. “I...I'm sorry too. I know you two have been trying to make me feel at home here. I guess I've been kinda a drag, haven't I?”

“Not at all.” said Madison. “We should have been more circumspect with how we introduced all this to you. Anyone would be upset with us in your position. We've just been trying to hurry, because we don't know how much time we'll have together, and we want to make the most of it.”

“What do you mean?” asked Bethany. She sat her empty glass on the nearby console.

“You said you got here by picking up some trash. We don't know how much that is going to be worth in terms of time here. You might only have this one day here.”

“Right, because you guys are so much better than me.” grumbled Bethany, crossing her arms.

Madison scoffed, but Cindy took it in stride.

“That's not what this is about. Not at all.” she said, sounding earnest and sincere. “Look, the world is full of billions of people, right? They all get up every day and run around doing all kinds of things. Some good, some bad, most not that interesting. I don't think that this being that presents itself as a little pink woman with wings rewards every single good deed. Although, if Madison and I are correct in our logical inferences and the fairy removes the memories of those who visit her realm, we technically have no way of being sure. The point is, the fairy most likely chooses which good deeds to reward effectively at random. It's like a lottery, where the tickets are the simple acts of common humanity that we sometimes do. All the people under this bed are lucky to be here. But because your winning ticket was for a fairly minor good deed,you may not have much time to enjoy your winnings. You don't have time to hem and haw about how you feel or what you want. You need to grab this opportunity by the horns and start seriously enjoying yourself.”

“Doing what? What are you talking about?” whined Bethany tiredly.

“I don't know! We all assumed that you would be into what all Madison's other dolls were into. But now I'm not really sure. Every time we try to get you to play along the way they used to, it just seems to make you upset. We need you to talk to us. Being serious here, you have no idea how much we are willing to do to accommodate you! Whatever you wanna do with your time here, we are there! We want to make this experience awesome for you. So tell us, what is that thing that you've always wanted to do? What have you always wanted to try but but never thought was possible? What do you need to make you feel...awesome?”

Bethany buried her face in her hands. She believed that Cindy was telling the truth, but it all just made her feel even more awkward. It wasn't just all the sudden, frightening changes. It was how all these weird images made her feel. The feelings weren't just scary or unpleasant. She could have dealt with that. She didn't know what they were. That made it hard to know how she ought to respond.

She looked up. Cindy and Madison had set aside their now-empty glasses, and were watching her intently.

“Take your time.” said Madison.

“It's really okay.” said Cindy.

“I just...I don't get any of this. Did Linda and Jackie really like being...dolls?”

Cindy and Madison nodded heavily in unison. “Why? How?”

Cindy leaned back in her chair. “Well, I can't speak for them, but they seemed to like the...intimacy of it. Being held and cuddled and carried around. Fed. Bathed. Changed.”

Bethany winced. Her heart fluttered.

Madison shot Cindy a dirty look. She pursed her lips in supplication.

“What she means...is that they liked being treated like my possessions. Sometimes, just being a person can start to feel like a chore. They got to just relax and be fussed over, instead of having to do a performance all the time. I just assumed that since the fairy sent you to me, you'd be happy in the same role. That was wrong of me.”

“It's okay. I'm just not used to thinking this way, like, at all. When someone is nice to me, I just wonder what they want from me. When somebody is tossing me around, I just feel scared. I'm sorry I ruined your party.”

Madison rolled her eyes. “Bethany, the party hasn't even started yet. We just want to talk to you and lay some ground rules.”

“Yeah. If you don't want me to hold you, you can say so. Or if the diapers bother you, I don't have to wear them.” said Cindy.

Bethany felt like her throat was threatening to close of its own volition. Why did that word make her feel this way?

“No!...no, that's okay. You can...wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.” she said finally.

“Thanks!” said Cindy, with a wide smile. “You too.”

Bethany sighed. “Couldn't I just wear a t-shirt and jeans, then?”

Madison smiled. “Of course you can. We'll get some at the toy store tomorrow. But if there's something else you'd like...” She trailed off.

“No...just something simple, please.”

Cindy and Madison looked at each other.

“What was that look?” asked Bethany suspiciously.

“Look?” said Madison, now resolutely refusing to look at Cindy.

“There's no look.” said Cindy, suddenly taking an interest in the glowing panel in front of her.

Bethany frowned. “That look, just now! What are you guys hiding from me? You're up to something.”

Madison looked uncomfortable. “Look, Bethany, it's...it's totally possible that the fairy made some kind of hideous mistake by putting you here, in this particular house, in this particular role, and that you want absolutely nothing to do with all the weird, terrible things that we enjoy around here...

“Totally possible...” echoed Cindy with a slight nod.

“But...?” asked Bethany, bracing herself for the other shoe to drop.

“But...it's a lot more like likely that you actually would really, really enjoy being put back into big baby pampers and paraded around as my adorable new dolly.” said Madison with an apologetic smile.

Bethany blanched. Every individual vertebra that composed her spine threatened to secede and form a new spine somewhere else. She shifted in her seat. She felt the cushioning of the chair rub against her.

She mentally slammed the thought down.

“Like, waaaay more likely.” agreed Cindy, seeming to ignore Bethany's obvious discomfort. “Like...by a factor of billions to one.”

“But...” said Madison, cutting her off abruptly. “If you insist that you'd rather not...participate in our little games, we will absolutely respect your wishes. No diapers, no dresses, no bringing you with me to school to show all my friends how cute you are...none of that. We will assume that you got here by accident, and do absolutely everything we can to get you back where you belong. It's just...if you are just, to pull a crazy theory completely out of thin air, totally wanting to try the diapers and are just too scared and embarrassed to admit it...”

Cindy snorted. She was trying so hard not to laugh.

“...then you might run the risk of missing out on this golden opportunity that tons of people would fucking kill for.” finished Madison.

Bethany stared at the floor, trembling slightly. “I'm...I'm not...like that.”

Cindy nodded. “I get it. It's totally normal to embarrassed about something like this. That's why we did that little skit when I arrived.”

“Yeah. I got the feeling that was supposed to be for my benefit.”

Cindy shrugged. “Sorta. Normally the intro is a little longer. We like to draw it out...to increase the pleasure.”

“But, we wanted to show you that nothing you can do here will even register as embarrassing to us. We've seen things and done things and had things done to us that you can't imagine. The sooner you stop lying to yourself...”

“I'm not lying! I'm not like you! I don't want...diapers!”

The instant the word left her lips, she knew it wasn't true. Saying it out loud, it was obvious. The way her ears heated up, the way her toes felt like curling, the way her heart pounded. It was so obvious. She felt so stupid, so transparent, so pathetic. Tears welled up in her eyes and she buried her face in her hands.