The Archway, Part 18 (Patreon)

I took a long, final breath before tapping the button. With a soft click, the most powerful person in Utopia appeared on my screen. “Thank you for agreeing to speak with me, your highness.” I said, trying to sound respectful, but unafraid. “I'm sure you are very...”

“What is it, Hubble?” interrupted the silver-haired woman in dazzling blue robes. She was close to sixty now, but having the powers of a Sweet, it didn't really matter. Her skin was smooth, her eyes sparkled, her composure was immaculate. Even if her face wasn't posted in every public square, on monuments, and even in family homes, it was impossible to look at her without thinking: Queen. The elegant silver crown and diamond-studded sash she wore were practically superfluous. She was queenly grace incarnate, and I knew that she had the power to back it up. “I have bigger problems to deal with at the moment, but rest assured, your little insurrection has not gone unnoticed. You will be dealt with in due course.”

“Your highness, I know you aren't thrilled to hear from me, but please, listen.  There is no reason for this hostility between us. I want to protect Utopia from Laura as much as you do. It would make more sense for us to form an alliance, and coordinate a counter-offensive together.” I said, trying to keep a lid on my emotions as I spoke. I was frightened of her, of course, but that wasn't the only reason this was so difficult. She had the air of rightness. I wanted to please her, I wanted her to approve of me. The fact that she was a Sweet didn't help, but this was something that goes beyond charisma. It was culture. I had been taught since birth that she was the most important person in all Utopia, a natural and ideal leader, chosen by the Archway itself to rule. I was just glad that she was too far away to read my thoughts. “I don't think you understand what the people who have been sent to this facility have been through. Many of them have suffered extremely inhumane treatment. Of course we will try to escape if possible. We aren't trying to cause trouble, we simply want to be heard and acknowledged, and have our rights respected.”

“Duchess Cross was in regular contact with me prior to her capture...by you. I am aware of the manner in which her more dangerous charges, such as yourself, were contained. I am also aware of her attempts to recapture you. I granted her permission to utilize more extreme measures after her gentler methods proved to be inadequate. Perhaps if I had been less merciful then, you would be in a cell now, and I would be talking to her rather than you. Where is she, by the way?”

I chose my words carefully. “She's down in the residential area, tending to some of her former prisoners. Community service.” Well, it wouldn't exactly help my case to say that she was busy changing diapers, only pausing long enough to get the occasional spanking.

Queen Beatrice rolled her eyes. “Of course. She explained your 'conversion' ability to me. She had planned to use one of her more dangerous Knaves to regain control of the situation. When she failed to report in, I assumed that the attempt had failed.”

This wasn't going at all how I had hoped. I had hoped that the Queen would be more reasonable than Cross, even though I had learned that the society that had raised me didn't really live up to the hype. I decided to try again. I had spent so much time trying to get this audience, I may as well make the most of it.

“Cross told me that you were willing to make a truce with me in exchange for help dealing with Laura. Was there any truth in that at all, or was it all just a ruse?” I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Cross did suggest the idea of attempting to use your new abilities as a weapon. She has often suggested the idea of using Knaves as soldiers. But no, it was never really an option. Knaves are simply too amoral and erratic to be relied upon, whatever their abilities. In my Utopia,  a Knave can only become either a prisoner to be guarded, or a renegade to be hunted down.”

I sighed. “I don't suppose you would be willing to consider that I might not be a deranged psychopath? That maybe I'm just a normal person with strange powers, who just doesn't want to spend the rest of her life in prison?”

A slight smile appeared on the Queen's lips. “As a matter of fact, I would not.  It is quite common for Knaves to claim to be mere Oddballs, especially when faced with superior opponents. Luckily for me, your powers speak for themselves. The people you have enslaved may appear ridiculous and cute instead of hideous and frightening, but they are your slaves none the less. The only important difference between you and Laura is that she is much more powerful.”

My heart sank. I wanted so badly to believe that Cross had just been a lone psychopath. The idea that she might have been typical of the Nobles did not sit well with me. But the Queen was just as cold and closed-minded as she had been. “So that's it? You're so convinced that I'm evil, you're not even going to consider accepting my help?”

The Queen inhaled slowly, as though she were about to explain some elementary concept to a dull-witted child. “Knavery is an affliction, Miranda. I don't blame you for what the Archway has turned you into. You are still my subject, and I will do my best to ensure that you live the longest, most fulfilling life you are still capable of. I know that you will not accept my offer of peace, but I will make it anyway.” My hopes lifted. “All you have to do, is stay where you are. I won't let you keep Special Containment forever, of course, but you can have a little kingdom of your own to rule while I sort out Laura. You can run around in your diapers and play with your mindless puppets to your heart's content. But eventually, it will be time to put the toys away and go back to your room. If you cause no further trouble and surrender when the time comes, I will make special arrangements to allow you to exist in more spacious and comfortable surroundings. Provided you continue to behave yourself, that is.”

I wanted to maintain my composure, but how could I? “That's your offer? A slightly nicer prison to rot in? You talk to me like I'm the one who built this horrible place! You are not innocent. You trapped us all in here, and let your henchmen treat us however they wanted! Just when we really needed our Queen, you turned your back on us. The Oddballs have a right to be free, and I'm standing up for them!”

She shut her beautiful eyes and sadly shook her beautiful head.

“If that is what you believe, you are simply deluding yourself. The Archway is a fantastic gift to our civilization, nearly perfect. Alas, nothing is ever truly perfect. Special Containment is where the Archway's toxic by-products are safely stored. Freedom for you means ruin and misery for everyone else. You, Miranda, are a leak. A toxic spill. Stay where you belong, in your fortress, surrounded by your brainwashed slaves. If you continue to seep into the environment, I will be forced to correct the situation more forcefully.”

I knew she wanted to rattle me. To get me angry enough to let something slip. I stared back at her, and forced my voice to be level. “Your position isn't as secure as you would like me to think. I'm on the same network as you, your Highness. I see how the war is going. You're losing ground. You're losing soldiers. The key word, here...is Losing. Laura is getting stronger every day. Do you really think you can afford to turn away a potential ally right now? Look at me, and look at you. You're the most powerful woman in the world...today. I am just one Oddball, a handful of followers, and one lousy building. This is the time when you can negotiate the best possible deal. You should take advantage of my weakness, while you can.”

I hoped I sounded a lot more confident than I actually was. The Queen's face was infuriatingly serene.

“Your analysis of the strategic situation is rudimentary at best. Yes, Laura has made some early advances. Her powers were totally unprecedented, and she seized many valuable assets before a proper defense could be mustered. But I am a Bright, Miranda, and I have many Brights working under me. We Brights can always find an ideal solution to every problem, given time and world enough. A way to deal with Laura's forces en masse will be ready shortly. If I were willing to sacrifice the lives that Laura has already claimed, I would already have wiped her out. Oh, by the way, do you recognize this?”

An image flashed across the screen. If I had kept Cross' Bright powers, I could have read and memorized ever word in the half-second it was on the screen. I was still smart enough to guess what it was, though.

“Cross' nullifier beam.” I said, almost in a growl.

The Queen smiled. “Indeed. A modification made to a device built by Suki Yamamoto, another brilliant mind that you have taken from me. Still, my technical staff will have no difficulty mass-producing it. I think a long-range, artillery-scale version might also be perfectly feasible.”

She moved closer to the camera, making her icy stare seem to double in size. “Don't think you can threaten me, Miranda. I have aces up my sleeve that I haven't touched yet. I suggest you count yourself fortunate that Laura is such a pressing problem for me, and give me no further reason to divert my attention back to you. Stay put, and behave yourself.”

I collapsed backward into my chair. I had been so worried about this meeting. I had spent most of the previous night trying to persuade the network admins to let me through to the palace, then trying convince the palace staff to take me seriously enough to grant me an audience. Once I had been placed in her majesty's royal appointment calendar, I had spent the morning trying to psyche myself up enough not to blow this opportunity. I guess I needn't have bothered. “Her highness” was blowing the opportunity for me.

“I'm not going to do that. I've seen what Laura is doing out there, and I'm not going to stand by and let her do it. There are distress calls going out practically every hour, and some of them are well inside the territory that you've already abandoned. There are people fighting for their lives and their freedom out there, and I'm not going to ignore them. Those people need a miracle right fucking now, not when your super-weapon is ready to go! You can't save them. I can.”

The Queen's narrowed her eyes. “Leave those people alone. They have enough trouble as it is. If you leave Special Containment, Laura is sure to learn of your presence, and then she will convert you to her side.  Who could guess what hideous abominations she would make out of you and yours? If you or your degraded minions are caught out in the open, my security forces will treat you as enemy combatants. This is your last warning.”

I rested my head against my fist. “I've already dispatched teams to help some of the nearby communities that are under siege by Laura's monsters. I'll be on the move soon, too. I had hoped that we could coordinate our actions to help more people, but apparently that isn't what you're interested in. We will talk again, I'm sure. Miranda out.”

I tapped the panel, ending the call before the Queen could respond. I took a deep breath. I wondered if I had told her too much. It certainly seemed like Utopia's security forces would be well outside the area I had sent my two teams to, but war never has many guarantees, and that goes double when both sides have special powers. I was really out of my depth dealing with someone like the Queen. It would have been great to put aside our differences and try to work out some kind of deal, but I guess she wasn't as desperate as I'd hoped.

I squeezed the front of my diaper. I was pretty soggy. I decided to go down to Low Containment for a cup of coffee and a change. First though, I would have a word with my own technical staff. The lab was just next door, and they had been even busier lately than me.

When I poked my head in the door, I was pleased to see that the place was in chaos. Papers with elaborate formulae and diagrams were scattered across the floor and several workbenches, along with hundreds of electronic components, mechanical parts, hoses, wires, and things whose function I no longer had the intellect to even guess. A line of thick masking tape had been run across the center of the room.  Two neatly-written signs had been posted, marking one side as “Suki Yamamoto's Laboratory” and the other side as “Princess Boom-Boom's Play Area”. Judging by the fact that the mess was not confined to Princess Boom-Boom's side, and also the fact that the sign on Suki's side also included a crude crayon drawing of Suki with frowning eyes and green smell-lines coming off of her, I would guess that Suki's attempts to contain the chaos where not wholly successful. Suki herself was at a computer terminal, apparently working with some kind of rendering software. She did not look up when I opened the door and walked in.

“Miranda!!!” squealed Princess Boom-Boom. She dropped a soldering iron on the ground, pulled off a pair of goggles, and ran up to me, arms outstretched. I opened my arms to her, and she tackle-hugged me.

“You're here! Yayyy!” she cheered as I lifted her off her feet and spun her around. No matter how bad my mood, she never failed to cheer me up.

“Good to see you too!” I said, giving her a kiss. “Did you miss me?”

“Uh-huh!” she said, returning my kiss.

“You just saw her yesterday.” muttered Suki, apparently absorbed in her work. Princess Boom-Boom turned and stuck her tongue out before returning her attention to me.

“I've been havin' lotsa fun! We're playing 'Scientist'!” explained Princess Boom-Boom. Her eyes widened. “Ooh, I gotta show you what I made!”

Princess Boom-Boom ran over to her side of the lab and returned with something that looked like a toy pistol. Several long hoses in various colors ran along it's length. She aimed it at a wall and pulled the trigger.

With a loud pop, something launched from the muzzle of struck the wall with a sound between a splat and a thud. It took me a second to realize what it was.

“I made a gummy-bear gun! Look, look, here's where the gummy-bear comes out, here's how you control how big it is, and you twist this to change the flavor!” she explained excitedly.

Another pop, another thud, and a five-pound pineapple gummy-bear joined the smaller sour-apple one.

Suki jumped up from her terminal. “Miss Boom-Boom, please refrain from testing your creations in the lab.” she said with clear irritation in her voice. “Especially on my side of it.”

A tiny red gummy-bear plopped against Suki's lab-coat. She narrowed her eyes as Princess Boom-Boom giggled at her.

Clearly there were some issues to resolve here, but there was no need to do it in front of Princess Boom-Boom. I tickled her as I gave her feedback on her performance.“Good job! You made me a great invention! Yesh you did!” I bent down and blew a raspberry on Princess Boom-Boom's belly. She is so adorable. While she was laughing hysterically , I took the opportunity to reach two fingers into the waistband of her diaper. As expected, she was soaked.

“Woooh! Somebody needs a dipee change!” I whispered in a sing-song voice.

She patted my bottom. “Yep! You all soggy!”

I pinched her cheek. “You know who I'm talking about, you little Dumb-Dumb! Go tell Nurse Wipes to put you in a nice fresh diaper, and say hi to Duchess Stinky-Pants for me. I need to have a word with Suki.”

She crossed her arms and turned her face away. “I no like Duchess Stinky-Pants! She said she was stupider than me! She's a meanie!”

I picked her up by her waist and cradled her in my arms, carrying her toward the door. “Don't worry. Nobody can ever be as stupid as you! Just tell silly ol' Duchess Stinky-Pants that you're both the stupidest! Off with you now.”

With a slap to her rear, she waddled off toward the elevator. I stood for a moment, admiring her cheerful attitude, and wishing that I could be as care-free as her. I walked back into the lab with the weight of the world once again settling on my shoulders.

“I take it that your diplomatic efforts have not met with the success you hoped for?” observed Suki.

I exhaled wearily. “Yeah. Pretty much a big ol' 'get fucked' from Queen Beatrice. She seems to think she has Laura pretty much in hand already. I can't tell if she's really that confident, or if she's just trying to intimidate me. Either way, looks like no chance of help from her.”

“I recommend patience. Her position is likely to look less promising in the near future. She will be more open to unorthodox strategies, such as allying with you, after Laura has seized additional territory.” offered Suki. She probably thought she was being upbeat.

“That's what I told her. The trouble is, by the time she's that desperate, Laura  might be too powerful to deal with. And the Queen is already planning to re-take Special Containment, so we have to divert resources to prepare for that! Apparently, the Queen is cooking up some large-scale version of Cross' nullifier beam to take us out. Don't suppose you have some way of way countering that?” I asked.

She frowned. “It is conceivable, but given the current state of my laboratory, I am not particularly optimistic about my chances of producing precision instruments at my usual level of quality.”

In spite of my worries, a wicked grin broke across my face. “Trouble with the new lab partner, maybe?”

Suki sighed. “Your sense of comedy in assigning Princess Boom-Boom is much appreciated, Miss Hubble, but perhaps you could consider reassigning her powers to a more cooperative vessel? Like, for example, myself? I am aware that stacking powers upon other powers is within your capacity.”

I picked the gummy-bear off Suki's labcoat and popped it into my mouth. It was cherry-flavored. “What's the matter? She seems very...productive. She got those new grenades out the door pretty quickly.”

“Without adequate testing, documentation, safety procedures, or even a basic theoretical framework for their function. Her behavior in the lab is erratic at best, and to be frank, she seems to have very limited awareness of where she is or what is going on. She's appears to be under the impression that she is...well, pretending to be a scientist.” The last sentence was delivered with particular vitriol.

I nodded. I knew that. But I also knew what this was really about. “So, are you concerned that her output isn't functional?”

“Her output is ridiculous!” snapped Suki, finally allowing her frustration to bleed through. “You should see the designs she's been creating!”

Suki pointed to a wall covered in pieces of paper that had been inexpertly taped on. They showed a labyrinth of circuit diagrams, complex equations, and design schematics I couldn't begin to decipher. They were mostly in crayon, in various colors. I noticed that a few “r's” were backward.

“A forty-foot tall howitzer that fires the abstract concept of stupidity. A watch that freezes time for one and a half seconds a day. A hand gun that generates live ponies and launches them at the speed of sound. A set of tiaras that allows the transmission of emotions between wearers. A pair of baby booties with embedded rockets. A playpen that can shrink down to the size of a matchbook. To be succinct, she is generating designs for whatever moronic idea enters her mind, with no consideration for practicality or necessity. I'm struggling just to make sense of this absurdity! I don't know what you were thinking granting someone like Princess Boom-Boom the power of a Bright, but I strongly recommend that you reconsider!”

“So...we can't actually make this stuff?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

I heard a sharp hiss as Suki slowly drew in breath through her teeth. “I have been reading and re-reading all of the equations that she has written, searching for some kind of unjustifiable error. I keep finding parts of them that seem riddled with childish algebra errors, but on closer examination they keep coming up correct, at least in terms of the theoretical suppositions of the models she has created. As far as I can tell, Princess Boom-Boom's...shall we say, unique psychological profile, coupled with the cognitive enhancement you gave her, appears to grant her a unique comprehension of your quantum effect. All these bizarre constructions should, in theory, work as described if we have enough material infused with your field. Whether they could be applied to our situation in some practical fashion is another question entirely.”

I nodded and tried to look serious as she rattled off her complaints.

“Suki, I hear you. I really do. I knew that this kind of transition wouldn't be easy for you, and I'm proud of you for sticking it out. I think I see what the problem is.”

I looked her square in the eyes. “You're a very talented and successful scientist and engineer, even by the standards of those with Bright powers. You've long since gotten used to being the smartest person in the room. Now tell me truthfully, does having a colleague who can run circles around you, and do things that you can't even understand, make you feel threatened?”

I could tell she wanted desperately to deny it, but I had given her a direct order. “...yes, Miss Hubble.”

I pinched her cheek. The look of indignation on her face was priceless. “Is Suki a jeawous baby? Huh? Is widdle Suki jeawous? I think she is? I think she is!”

Suki groaned. “Yes, Miss Hubble.”

I crossed my arms. “No, you need to say it out loud. It'll be good for you.”

“I...I find Princess Boo m-Boom's cognitive abilities impressive and...and intimidating, and that makes it harder to be patient when her unpredictable behavior disrupts my work.” muttered Suki.

I began tickling her belly. She didn't immediately break into peals of girlish laughter like Princess Boom-Boom, but her face did crack an uncomfortable smile.

“Aww, you're so cute, trying to be all serious in your widdle wabcoat and your baby pampers!” I patted her diapered rear through her neatly-pressed labcoat. “Now, are you going to stop looking over Princess Boom-Boom's shoulder and let her get her work done? Second-guessing your colleague is not a good use of your time.”

“I will...do as you wish, as always. Are you going to tell Princess Boom-Boom to stop interfering in my work? We do have to share this lab space, after all.”

“I'll have a talk with her about sharing her toys and cleaning up after herself, like a good little scientist. Maybe we can get you a two a few lab assistants to help with some of the clean-up and organizing. But I want you two to learn to work together. I'm sure you can work out your differences as colleagues who respect one another. And if that doesn't work, I could always just put her in charge of you to reduce conflicts...”

“I assure you that will not be necessary.” said Suki, speaking very quickly.

“Glad to hear it. I'm still going to need someone sane and sensible to handle my specific trouble-shooting needs, but remember who we're up against. The Queen has plenty of sensible Brights like you at her disposal, to come up with awesome devices and superior strategies for her. Laura probably has quite a few of whatever she can turn Brights into. If I'm going to win this war, I need insane bullshit that no one can possibly see coming or prepare for. A Stupidity Howitzer and a magical time-stopping watch sound like just the kind of nonsense we need. The pony gun, we can probably just leave on the drawing board.”

“I...cannot fault your reasoning, Miss Hubble.” said Suki, heavily implying that she would love to fault my reasoning if only she could.

“Well, I'm gonna go get changed and grab some breakfast. You want anything?”

“Some coffee would be appreciated, Miss Hubble.”