Invasion of the Diaper Elves, The Goth (Patreon)

Madeline Allison, or “Mad Alice” as she was known to her friends, was a goth. Most girls abandoned this sub-culture shortly after high school, but Madeline knew that she was going to be a lifer. She worked at a local Occult book store, where her black lipstick and eye-liner, her collection of jewelry prominently featuring skulls, crosses, and pentagrams,  her prominent use of white foundation, and her wild and frequently-changed hairstyle lent the place a certain air of legitimacy.

She was also a talented artist, and she frequently appeared at craft fairs and goddess festivals trying to sell her paintings. She had sold a few, but most of them ended up decorating her apartment. They usually featured spindly, black figures twisting together under a sky full of angry, blood-red clouds. Her favorite was inspired by the Pardoner's Tale from Chaucer, and showed three skeletons being picked clean by a flock of crows (or a 'murder' as she would insistently call it) under a spreading, black, leafless tree, while the grim reaper looked on.

At twenty-three years of age, she was already one of the older women at the night clubs she frequented. She worried that eventually, the tired old mainstream American culture, with its obsession with conformity and mediocrity, would win out, and she would be forced to either abandon the aesthetic she loved so dearly or face permanent unemployment. Of course, without said mainstream culture to constantly oppress her, the whole scene would lose a lot of its appeal.

Tonight, however, she really just wanted to get some sleep. A large shipment of books on neo-pagan witchcraft had arrived at the shop earlier than expected, and without adequate storage she had been forced to stay late stocking the shelves and logging each volume in the store's system. Arriving home much later than usual, she put a hotpocket in the microwave, played some 'Lake of Tears' on her sound system, and sat down to smoke a bowl and take a load off.

She had just finished tamping down the fresh weed and hunting though several drawers for a working lighter when she heard a sound coming from the kitchen. The microwave chimed  to indicate that her hot-pocket was done, but that wasn't it. Cupboards were being opened and closed. Pots and pans were moved around. Someone was searching her kitchen.

It didn't occur to her to be afraid. Her neighborhood could be charitably described as safe and well-policed, or less charitably as soul-crushingly boring and oppressive. A soon as she became aware of the noise, she carefully set her pipe aside for later use and got up to see what the commotion was.

In her kitchen, two women were searching her cupboards. One was short with long brown hair, the other was tall with short brown hair. One was wearing a light blue ballet outfit, complete with a white ruffled tutu around her waist. The other was wearing a light pink cheerleader's outfit with white accents, the number 88 on the back. Both women had pointed ears like Vulcans from Star Trek, both had feet that adamantly refused to reach all the way to the floor, and both turned to greet her with bright blue eyes and vacant smiles.

Madeline backed away. Despite her interest in the occult, she didn't actually believe in magic per se. If there was magic in the world, she thought, it could only reside in human hearts and minds. What she was looking at now was nothing like anything she had ever believed in or even thought about. The two smiling creatures actually offended her. How unfair was it that she should finally see real evidence of the supernatural, and it came dressed in bright pastel colors and...were those...diapers?

“Hiii!” greeted the short ballerina.

“What's your name?” asked the tall cheerleader.

Madeline picked the silver cross off her neck and thrust it toward the two weird-looking creatures. “Stay back! Not kidding!” she spat nervously.

The ballerina chuckled. “We're not vampires, you know!” she turned to her colleague, confusion on her face. “Are we?”

“Nope!” said the cheerleader. “We don't need any blood, and your cross won't get rid of us. If you want us to leave, all we need is some black licorice.”

Madeline stared at them. “Licorice? Seriously?”

“Black licorice!” insisted the ballerina. “That red shit doesn't count!”

Madeline slowly let the cross drop. “Who the fuck are you guys?”

They looked at each other, as though this question had never really occurred to them. “I don't know.” said the one dressed as a cheerleader. “We're just...us.”

“Are you human?” asked Madeline. “Did you used to be human?”

“I think I did.” said the ballerina, uncertainly.

“Yeah! Me too!” said the cheerleader.

“But we had the black licorice for the offering, so we got to leave our lives behind and fly through the moonlit air!” explained the ballerina, as though just now remembering this.

“Oh yeah!” said the cheerleader. “Glad we figured that out!”

“So you like...like this?” asked Madeline backing further away.

“Oh definitely!” said the ballerina. “It's the best! You get immortality, and licorice, and diapers...it's awesome!”

“Rrright.” said Madeline. “Look, I don't have any fuckin' licorice, okay? I guess I can get some from a store if its really so important for you.”

“Aww, bummer!” said the ballerina.

“Yeah...” said the cheerleader, looking apologetic. “It doesn't work like that. I mean, we aren't vampires, but the rules we have to follow are just as crazy. I mean, don't you think we'd go buy some fuckin' licorice at a store if we could?”

“Oh man, that would be awesome!” said the ballerina.

“But you can't? I mean, why not?” asked Madeline.

“Rules!” repeated the cheerleader. “We have to get it from someone's home, we have to reward them a bunch if they have it, and we have to punish them if they don't!”

“That...does not make any goddamn sense.” said Madeline, noting the word 'punish'. She backed away more into the living room, her two visitors floating along with her.

“Duh!” said the one dressed as a ballerina.

“Look, you can have logic, or can have magic.” explained the one dressed as a cheerleader. “You can be bound by the laws of reason and physics, or you step outside of them and see what you get. Sometimes, you're gonna get this.” she gestured to her general pointed-eared, floating, diapered situation.

“Right!” said the ballerina. “So, back to business. No licorice, so that means we have to punish you.”

“That is totally unfair!” yelled Madeline. The two floating figures shrugged. “Sure, but what you gonna do?” said the cheerleader.

Madeline jumped forward and socked the the cheerleader across the jaw. Her face flinched a little. “Oh boy. How did you think that was gonna go?” asked the ballerina.

“I was gonna go easy on you, but then you went and did that.” said the cheerleader, annoyed.

They were in the middle of the living room now. Madeline's collection of artwork was all around them. The room had a carefully cultivated aesthetic of creepy melancholy.

“I'm not afraid of you, you prep-school bitch!” snarled Madeline. “Do your worst! I have scarier things than you two on my bedsheets! I'm not about to get pushed around by a flying Pampers commercial!”

The cheerleader cracked her knuckles. “Oh boy. I am gonna enjoy this one.”

“C'mon!” said the ballerina. “Don't really hurt her! She's just scared is all.”

“Am not!” said Madeline, and she stuck out her tongue at the two apparitions. Maybe it was childish, but she was talking to two grown women in diapers.

Ignoring both of them, the cheerleader floated over to a painting on the wall. It was Madeline's favorite, hung with pride of place next to the television.

“You painted this?” guessed the cheerleader, reaching out to touch it.

“Don't you fucking dare!” yelled Madeline.

The spot that the cheerleader had touched glowed for a moment. Then, color began to rapidly spread through the painting. The blood-red sky became pastel blue with puffy white clouds. A bolt of black lightning morphed into a rainbow. The figure of the grim reaper holding a slender scythe became a colorful clown holding a bunch of balloons. The dead black tree was now covered with green leaves, and shiny red apples hung from its branches. The crows feasting on three corpses transformed into pink kittens playing with three colorful balls of yarn.

Madeline stared in rage and horror at the saccharine abomination. The worst part was that her name was still signed in the bottom right corner, and she could still recognize her signature brush-strokes throughout.

“Yoooouuu bitch!” she hissed. The cheerleader turned to her with an evil grin. “Don't like it? I think its your best work!”

She flipped up her skirt, giving Madeline and unobstructed view of her puffy white diaper. The diaper cast a bluish glow on Madeline. She found herself unable to look away. She stood mesmerized by the glowing plastic sheen. “This is your favorite painting. You love everything about it. From now on, this is how you want everything in your life. Bright colors, cutesy-wootsie characters, everything sweet and happy and cheerful! That's you.”

Madeline's eyes went wide. She felt as though her soul was being filled with pancake syrup. The  hallmark card bullshit her painting had been turned into began to change in her eyes. To her growing horror, she realized that she liked it. She loved the bright, cheerful colors, the cuddly kittens, the happy clown, the beautiful rainbow. She turned and looked around her house desperately. All the skulls, the images of blood and violence, the dismal skies, the spidery shapes. She hated it all. It was all so gloomy, so threatening, so harsh, so...scary.

“Noo!” she screamed. “This can't be happening! I can't be this fucking lame!”

The colors spread from her painting, infecting the whole house with pastel sweetness. All around her, her home broke out in sunny smiles, rainbows, unicorns, kittens, puppies, bunnies, and fluffy white clouds. Mat Blacks, blood reds, and dark greens became bubblegum pinks and banana yellows. The music playing on the speakers shifted into a set of cheerful nursery songs. “Pagan Wish” was replaced “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round”. She wanted so badly to be sickened by all of it, but all she felt was warm, happy comfort.

“Noo.” she whimpered as her house transformed.

“Yes.” said the cheerleader. Her two intruders took her arms and led her to the bathroom, where they showed her herself in the mirror. Her lipstick was electric blue. Her hair was bright blonde, and arranges into pigtails with two big bows, one pink and one yellow. Her t-shirt, which had shown a bloody red pentagram a moment ago, was now bright lavender, and showed the Care Bears sliding down a rainbow. Her black slacks hung with silver chains and talismans were now a glossy white diaper with the figure of a rainbow across the front panel. She wore long yellow socks that ran almost up to her diaper, with alternating red and blue stripes across them. On her feet were a pair of light pink crocks.

“I can't go around looking like this!” she screamed at her two visitors. “I look like a refugee from Candyland!”

“But you will.” said the cheerleader, floating towards her. The ballerina lifted her tutu and joined her companion. Together, they pressed their thickly-padded butts against the sides of Madeline's head. They rubbed their butts against her, and every word the cheerleader spoke buried itself in her brain like a tiny meteor. “This is your new personal aesthetic. You will dress like this everyday. Oh, you can wear something to hide your diapees when you're at work, but at home, you'll be strictly a diaper girl. You'll go to all the same places and do all the same things, just with a very different sense of color, and with a much more positive attitude. You'll be happy all the time. Your thoughts will be full of sparkly rainbows and cute little kitties! You'll love everything about your new life. No big-girl panties, no dark colors, no gruesome images, just a big permanent grin and a look of hope and enthusiasm in your eyes. Doesn't that sound wonderful!”

Madeline felt the corners of her mouth pick up. As much as she would be embarrassed to admit it, she couldn't wait for the sun to rise tomorrow. She felt so much positivity pulse through her.

The ballerina gently grabbed her shoulder and patted her diapered rear. “Come on, sweety. Its beddie-bye time for you!” she said with a compassionate smile.

Madeline yawned and stretched. “Okay!” she said happily, her feelings of disgust and outrage melting into pure joy.

Her two diapered visitors watched with amusement as she flossed and brushed her teeth. She had never enjoyed the simple act so much, possibly because she was taking good care of her bright, shiny smile, or maybe just because her toothpaste was now bubblegum flavored. That done, they led over to her chair in front of the TV. It was pastel pink and had googly eyes on the arm rests. Together, they threw away all her weed and smoking accessories.

“Smoking weed is for bad girls, and you're a good girl now!” explained the ballerina. She giggled, knowing that she wanted to be good girl from now on. Her drug would be life itself.

They escorted her into her room and tucked her into her bed. Her sheets had Strawberry Shortcake characters on them. The cheerleader handed her a Rainbow Brite Doll to cuddle with in the night. The two magical beings kissed her on the forehead as they turned out the lights. She didn't like the dark, but there were five nightlights plugged in nearby, so she was okay.

“Nighty-night, sugarplum!” said the cheerleader as she drifted out the window. “Don't forget to wet your diaper tonight!”

“Nigh-night.” said Madeline, as she hugged Rainbow Brite and stuck her thumb in her mouth. She drifted off to sleep, thinking of the bright yellow sunshine and wet diaper that would be there to greet her in the morning.