Invasion of the Diaper Elves: The Weight-Loss Guru (Patreon)

“It could not be more simple,” wrote Jennifer Creighton, typing away at her monitor late one summer night. “The right combination of calorie restriction, exercise, and my patented nutritional supplements cannot fail to yield weight-loss, provided that the regimen is followed to the letter. I have heard every excuse imaginable: genetics, hormone levels, maternity, body type, the list goes on and on. It all serves as a smokescreen for the one and only true weight-loss solution: willpower. If you truly want it, and are willing to do what it takes, you won't need any of those excuses. I've raised four children, my family has had weight issues for four generations, and I still manage to maintain a healthy BMI with nothing but self-discipline.”

Giving her latest screed a final check for spelling and grammar, she posted the results to her lifestyle blog. She leaned back in her chair, feeling extremely satisfied. In reality, of course, she had never had children, none of her recent ancestors would have trouble fitting through a one-foot hole in a fence, and the supplements that were sold on her blog page were essentially just generic multivitamins cleverly repackaged, but those little white lies were unlikely to ever catch up to her. Besides, it was all worth it she could motivate just a few lazy lardasses to shape up and change their ways. Jennifer loved her blog. Thanks to the revenue she drew from the sale of her supplements, she had nothing but time to pursue her fitness goals. Besides, she loved writing it. The sense of superiority she got from calling out all the women who struggled with something as simple and easy as keeping weight off was like a drug she could never quit.

She heard a window slide open. A shock of fear ran through her. For an insane instant, she had a vision of an army of angry, overweight women hunting her down and exacting revenge for all her insults. She chuckled at that thought. As if they could get through her window! It was probably a neighbor's window that she had heard.

The pitter-patter of feet echoed through the house. Someone was in the kitchen. She heard the fridge open, then close. She heard cupboards being rifled through. She froze, wondering what to do.

She grabbed her cellphone to call the police. Damn, it was dead. She must have let the battery run down without noticing. This was one disadvantage of not being perpetually glued to her phone, like so many other women. Instead, she grabbed a tazer from her night-stand and bravely went to confront the intruder. She reasoned that whoever it was would probably turn tail and run for it if they learned that she was at home. She steeled herself, and opened the door as quietly as she could.

As soon as she became visible, the two figures froze in place. To her surprise, they were both women, looking no older than twenty-five. One had glasses and long brown hair in a pony-tail, the other had her black hair in a pixie cut, with a little triangle of hair pointing down her neck. One wore an outfit that reminded Jennifer of the show Sailor Moon, the other a green sweater with a pleated white skirt. They had pointed ears, like the elves in Lord of the Rings (she had seen the movies, but never read the books, which do not include this detail). What disturbed her was the gentle, serene smiles on their faces and the eerie blue glow in their eyes. They floated through the air like ghosts toward her, their smiles never faltering.

“Hello, lady! Do you have any black licorice?” asked the one with a pixie cut, her voice friendly and eager.

Jennifer pulled the trigger. The tazer's three electrodes shot out and struck the strange apparition square in the chest. Whatever they were, thought Jennifer, at least they were made of solid matter.

The electrodes sparked and fizzled away. The grin on the strange, floating woman's face never faltered. Only when the charge had been expended and the three long probes fell limp to the floor did the two smiles finally shift into angry scowls.

“She asked you a question.” said the one with the glasses, her voice icy.

Jennifer turned and fled. Her bedroom door closed itself as she approached. The lock that she now realized she ought to have taken advantage of clicked closed, leaving her stranded outside her own room. The two floating figures closed in on her.

“Black licorice. Now.” said the one with a pixie cut. The whimsical quality had disappeared from her voice. Despite the strangeness of her request, she clearly meant business.

Jennifer backed up against the door. “I...I don't have any! Why would I keep sweets in the house?”

The two beings looked at each other, exchanging confused looks. “Why wouldn't you keep sweets in the house?” asked the one with glasses.

Jennifer stared at them, trying to formulate a response. Her mouth seemed to work without any conscious input. “I...I'm a healthy person!” she said.

The two floating figures looked at her, as though expecting her to continue. “Good?” suggested the one with a pixie cut. The one with glasses just shrugged.

Jennifer exhaled. She couldn't take this seriously, It had to be some crazy dream. “Yes, it is. I don't waste my time or money indulging my sweet-tooth. I only eat healthy, nutritious meals with lots of fruits and vegetables. Maybe you could learn from my example, chubby!”

The two creatures again exchanged confused glances. The one with the glasses was fuller figured, but was well within the range of healthy weights for a  woman her age. The one with a a pixie cut wasn't quite as toned as Jennifer, but if anything, she might wish to gain a couple pounds in the interest of health. Only a total sociopath would suggest that either of them needed to diet.

As one, their expressions softened. Their smiles returned, in a way that Jennifer didn't think she liked.

“No black licorice?” said the one with glasses.

“None at all?” said the one with a pixie cut.

“No!” yelled Jennifer, feeling frightened and confused. “You don't scare me! No matter what you do, my will is like steel! You two porkers can't hold a candle to me!”

The two “porkers” rolled their eyes in unison, and flipped up their skirts. Jennifer was suddenly confronted with the sight of two thick, babyish diapers, each glowing with a strange, bluish light.

“Are...are you two wearing...wearing...” her voice trailed off as the light seeped into her. Any amusement she had felt on seeing her two assailants wearing diapers was lost as the uncanny light suffused her consciousness.

“That's right. Diapers.” said the one with the pixie cut.

“Big. Thick. Babyish. Diapers.” intoned the one with glasses.

“They sure make us look silly, don't they?” said the one with a pixie cut.

Jennifer nodded and grinned. Despite her earlier fear, she really did think they looked silly.

“Well now, I guess you're going to look silly too, won't you?” said the one with glasses.

Jennifer looked down. Her track suit had vanished. She was now naked except for a disposable adult diaper. She giggled. She looked so silly wearing it. Her well-toned abs looked ridiculous in contrast to the bulging plastic beneath.

“This will be you from now on.” said the one with a pixie cut.

“No more big girl pants.” declared the one with glasses.

Just like that, Jennifer felt the words slide into place in her mind. She was in diapers now, and she always would be. She could no more decide to put on panties than she could decide that the sun would not rise tomorrow. She would buy plenty of diapers and wear them every day. That was just the way it was.

“Uh-huh.” she said. Her voice sounded quiet and distant, even to her.

“You're very proud of your willpower, aren't you?” asked the one with a pixie cut.

She nodded.

“Too bad,” said the one with glasses, chuckling. She turned in the air, showing Jennifer her well-padded rear. “because its going to go away now.”

“Its going to go right into our diaper butts.” said the one with a pixie cut, turning and lifting her skirt as well. They wagged their asses playfully at her. The lights danced around the room. Jennifer's eyes wobbled back and forth, feebly attempting to track the disorienting motions.

The two women floated toward her and took both her arms. She wanted to fight them off, but she found she could only struggle feebly as they gently dragged her away. They led her to the living room. The one with glasses gave the sofa a pat.

Jennifer stared at the sofa. She had never seen it before. She had a television, to give her something to watch while she did her morning and evening  work-outs. There had been a set of weights, a treadmill, and other exercise equipment here last time she looked. Yet now, they were all gone, replaced with a big and extremely comfortable-looking sofa. Without thinking, she sat down where the strange being had indicated. She felt her new diaper compress under her, pressing pleasantly against her vagina. The one with the pixie cut handed her the remote. She stared at it in her hand, as though she had never seen it before.

“We're going to rub our butts against your face.” said the one with a pixie cut, in voice that brooked no argument.

“And there isn't a damn thing you can do about that, is there?” asked the one with glasses.

Jennifer wanted to say something, to run away, to protest this absurd idea. But all that she heard was her own weak voice mumbling: “Uh-uh.”

She felt two smooth, crinkly masses press against the side of her face. The two creatures were mashing their diapered butts against her face. She could do nothing to resist as the blue glow intensified.

“Ooooh.” moaned the one with a pixie cut.

“Mmmm!” sighed the one with glasses. “This is what it's all about. This is almost as good as black licorice!”

“All that pesky willpower of yours is going bye-bye.” explained the one with a pixie cut. The words slid into place in Jennifer's mind, permanent and inarguable.

“Draining away into our thick, absorbent diapers.” clarified the one with glasses.

“Uh-huh.” said Jennifer.

“Say you are a big, weak-willed diaper girl.” said the one with glasses.

“I'm a big, weak-willed diaper girl.” said Jennifer. The word tumbled out. She made no effort to say them, or to stop herself from saying them. She knew that she would never put effort into anything, ever again. She had none to give. That too, was as true and inevitable as the sunrise.

The two beings bobbed their asses up and down, sensuously rubbing the sides of Jennifer's face. She could do nothing but sit their as she felt her pussy moisten. The plastic backing of the diapers felt so good against her skin. She knew that these two arrogant, powerful beings were degrading her, displaying their total power over her, and that she could do absolutely nothing about it. The thought excited her. Her pulse raced. Her face flushed. The two creatures spoke back and forth as they rubbed their asses against her, every word stamping itself indelibly into her consciousness.

“Turn on the TV.” ordered the one with glasses, her voice breathy.

“Turn on some real trash.” agreed the one with a pixie cut.

“Dumb cartoons.” one breathed.

“Bullshit reality shows.” the other gasped.

“Cooking shows.” suggested one.

“Cake decorating contests!” moaned the other.

“You're going to watch so much stupid, pointless TV!” said the one with glasses.

“Sit on your ass, hour after hour.” ordered the one with a pixie cut.

“Day after day.” said one.

“Year after year.” agreed the other.

“No more working out.” said one.

“No jogging.” said the other.

“No enriching programs.” said one.

“Nothing remotely educational.” said the other.

“No nature documentaries.” chuckled one

“No bathroom breaks.” giggled the other.

Jennifer flipped through the channels as the two butts worked up and down her cheeks. She skipped over David Attenborough's “Our Planet”. She settled briefly on Sesame Street, but they were explaining the letter “Q”, so that was too educational. She switched over to “The History Channel”.

“That one's fine.” said the one with the pixie cut.

“Just need a few snacks to go with it.” said the one with the glasses.

As Jennifer stared transfixed at “Ghosts of the Alien Nazis”, she barely registered the objects appearing front of her. A coffee table materialized in front of the sofa. On it appeared dozens of items of junk food. Bags of cheese puffs, plates of cookies, even full tubs of butter.

“Sit there and mindlessly eat.” whispered the one with a pixie cut.

“Get fatter and fatter every day.” said the one with the glasses.

Jennifer reached for a chocolate-chip cookie. A wave of revulsion passed through her at the breaking of all her sacred vows, but it wasn't enough to pause her hand for even a second.

“Ah-ah-ah.” cooed the one with a pixie cut, wagging a finger back and forth.

“Butter up that cookie.” breathed the one with  the glasses.

Jennifer's hand dipped back, long enough to coat the cookie in a large blob of butter. She listened to the words “Is it possible...” for the third time in a minute, always followed by some increasingly improbable pronouncement. She felt her heart lift as she chewed and swallowed the buttered treat.

“This might take a while.” said the one with a pixie cut.

“Better give her a head start.” agreed the one with the glasses.

As she stared transfixed at the screen, her hard, flat stomach softened and gently swelled, as though thousands of stomach crunches were being erased from history. Her breasts bloomed outward. Her butt rounded under her, filling out her diaper. A soft cushion of flab spilled out over her diaper's elastic waistband. When the transformation was done, she didn't look fat, or even chubby, really. Many would have called it a change for the better, although she wouldn't be one of them.  To complete her new look, her diaper changed from a functional white medical diaper into a colorful adult baby diaper, complete with little decals of pink and purple cupcakes. Several large packages of the diapers appeared to her left. A large diaper pail appeared at her right.

“Fill up those diapers, one after another.” commanded the one with a pixie cut.

“Buy more when you run out.” ordered the one with the glasses.

Jennifer nodded agreement. The two soft, plastic massed finally left her cheeks.

“I think our work is done.” said the one with a pixie cut, giving Jennifer a kiss on her newly-fattened cheek.

“Say thank you.” said the one with glasses, kissing her other cheek.

“Th...thank you!” said the newly-minted diaper slob. She didn't even watch as her two visitors drifted out of the room. She dipped a cheese puff in butter and popped it in her mouth, wondering if it was possible that the graveyard near Dusseldorf was haunted by the ghosts of Nazi aliens. The next day, she would have to figure out what to do for money. She could just keep producing the blog, of course. It was just as much a load of bullshit now as it had ever been.