The Game of Fools, Part 4 (Patreon)

Rose stood pinned to the wall by the black chains. On the kitchen table, the hourglass slowly hissed away, with barely a pinch of sand left. The five minutes were almost up. Rose wished that she could at least see what her three opponents were doing, even if the chains prevented her from stopping them. Still, the important thing was that she got to see the look on Chelsea's face when she failed her challenge, and was forced to put a silver coin on the Walrus, further cementing her position as the team fatty. Rose thought of the moment when she had placed The Black Heart down in front of her. Suddenly, the idea of playing along with her new friends as a team had seemed nauseatingly saccharine. She had realized at that moment that what she wanted more than anything was to win this game, and even better, to watch those three losers suffer the shame and humiliation of being saddled with terrible curses for life. She knew that this sadistic streak was itself an affliction created by the magical game, but that wasn't important. She loved being bad to the bone, and she would never allow herself to be changed back. She held her breath as the last few grains of sand settled in the stem of the hourglass.

Suddenly, the air in the kitchen wavered, as though everything were around her were being shaken out like a sheet. Rose watched as Chelsea, Staci, and Staci materialized on the ground around the kitchen table. As the three women groaned and got their feet, Rose angrily exhaled through her teeth.

“Oh, c'mon! That is bullcrap!”

“In your face! In your fuckin' face!” said Chelsea, as she pushed herself to her feet.

“You okay?” squeaked Staci.

“Yep! Even my bruises are gone. It's like nothing in that cave even happened now.”

“But you're still...” said Staci. She didn't want to say “fat”, but...

“I think we just have to discard the card.” said Stacy.

Chelsea picked up “The Walrus” and looked around the metal board. “Is there a discard pile?”

Staci reread the rules. “There's nothing here about what to do with the cards. It just says 'discard' and that's it.”

Chelsea considered the card in her hand. “Well, I know where this fucking piece of shit belongs.”

Chelsea stuffed the card into the kitchen's garbage disposal. She listened with grim satisfaction as the grinder pureed the little image of a walrus. As the motor worked away, Chelsea's waistline retreated. Within seconds, her fit, trim figure had returned.

“I am never telling another fat joke as long as I fucking live.” said Chelsea. “That sucked.”

“Ooh! You get pick a white card too!” said Stacy excitedly.

“Right, cuz that worked so great when you did it.” said Chelsea.

Stacy laughed, bent over, and took a big sniff of her own dirty diaper. “Mmmm. I know you're being sarcastic, but it totally did!”

Chelsea rolled her eyes. “Can't I just enjoy being my normal self for a minute?”

“C'mon!” squeaked Staci. “We have no idea what a royal white card is like. I really want to see what kind of prizes you can get for completing a challenge like that. It might even be something we can keep if we win the game.”

Chelsea sighed. “Fine. I am curious too.” She strolled to the table. “Goddamn, it feels so good just walking like normal again!”

She gingerly plucked a card from the royal white deck, and set it down on the table for all to see. It showed the image of a man in shimmering armor, mounted on a white horse and raising a sword in the air.

                                                                                The Knight

                                            With all that is within me, I shall protect you.

                  Place this card face-up in front of you. Draw a card from the gray deck and place it on this card. Even if the Knight is discarded, the gray card will still remain.

“Interesting.” said Staci. “I was wondering when the gray cards were going to show up.”

Chelsea did as the card instructed. The royal gray card, as it turned out, had no instructions or motto of any kind. The label read “The Sister”, and the image was simply a gray female face, so stylized that it might have been almost anyone.

“Huh. Kinda disappointing.” said Chelsea, carefully laying the new card over the “The Knight”.

“Yeah, pull the other one.” squeaked Staci. She had heard that line before.

Chelsea set “The Sister” on top of “The Knight” The two cards folded and twisted together, as the two cards responsible for giving Stacy her diaper had.

There was a knock at the door.

They looked at each other. They looked at the door.

Stacy started toward the door.

“Wait!” squeaked Staci. “It could be dangerous!”

Stacy wasn't worried. “Its a white card. It can't be that bad.” She opened the door.

Standing on the porch was a samurai warrior. Her armor was constructed of elegantly crafted black leather flaps, accompanied by steel chain mail at vulnerable points, and a pelt wrapped around the shoulders. She carried a full set of blades: a katana, a tachi, and wakizashi. Her head was bare but for a white bandanna tied around her forehead.  She had blonde hair, and looked to be in her late twenties.

“Step aside.” she said. She didn't sound angry, but it was definitely not a request. Stacy stood back so that she could enter the house. The woman moved with confident, graceful strides toward the kitchen.

“Dana?” said Chelsea as she entered the kitchen. She sounded completely incredulous.

“Chelsea! Are you alright? Has anyone harmed you?” asked Dana.

“You're supposed to be in Dallas! What are you doing here?”

“I am here to protect you.” said Dana simply.

“Where did you get that armor?” asked Chelsea.

Dana looked down for a second. She actually seemed surprised that she was wearing it.

“That is not important. Your safety is. Has anyone harmed you?” asked Dana.

“Uh, well Rose over there knocked me around at little, but...”

In a blur of motion, Dana drew her katana and set the blade against Rose's throat. Rose screamed in terror.

“Stop! If you hurt her, I get a penalty!” said Chelsea hurriedly.

Dana frowned at Rose, then returned her katana to its sheath with practiced ease. “Very well. However, if you change your mind in the future, her head shall be yours.”

Chelsea's eyes widened even further at this. “What the fuck, Dana! You work in IT! When did you become a friggin' ninja?

“Samurai.” squeaked Staci, annoyed.

“Whatever.” said Chelsea, also annoyed.

“I cannot answer these questions, Chelsea. I only know that I will defend you with my life, and anyone who threatens you must get by me first.” Dana gave a small bow as she said this.

Chelsea raised a finger, as though about to ask a question. Then she exhaled and relaxed. “Okay, great. Good to see you again, anyway. Want to hang out while I play an insane boardgame?”

“Nothing will persuade me to leave your side.” said Dana.

Chelsea sat at the table. “Guys, I promise she is not this intense normally.”

“Well, that covers what the gray deck does.” squeaked Staci. “It seems like anyone we know might be summoned by the game to fill roles. In this case, the role of protector.”

“Right! We get it. Move on.” said Rose from the wall.

“Fine.” squeaked Staci. “But not because you asked.”

Staci rolled the die. She got a six.

“Fuckin' finally!” said Rose. With loud snapping sounds, the the chains around her broke off and fell limply against the wall. Rose was free.

“Keep your distance.” said Chelsea.

“You're not the boss of me.” said Rose.

“You heard my sister.” warned Dana. “Stay back.”

Staci moved the last pawn forward six spaces, over half the length of the track, and landed on a blue square just beyond the Fool.

“A blue card, and a royal one at that.” squeaked Staci nervously. She drew from the appropriate stack.

                                                                             The Merchant

                                                                  A profitable transaction.

                   Choose one card in front of you. Discard it, then select three cards from the same deck as the discarded card. Choose two of these, and play them as though you had drawn them. Discard the other.

“Goddamn it!” she squeaked when she read the card. “The only card I have is “The Mouse”! That means I come out of this with an extra black card.”

Rose blew a raspberry to signal her approval of this turn of events. Staci took “The Mouse” to the sink and stuffed it in the garbage disposal. Even knowing what would come next, she still felt great satisfaction as the annoying curse was macerated by the grinder. Staci sprouted up to her formal height.

“La la la, la la, la luh la la!” sang Staci in her best baritone. “Whatever happens, at least I don't have to sound like a chipmunk any more.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts, bitch.” said Rose with arms crossed.

Chelsea glanced at Dana, to see if she had anything to say about the woman growing two feet taller in front of their eyes. She did not.

Staci took a deep breath. “Alright, time to face the music.” She drew three commoner black cards and spread them out on the table.

                                                                               The Oaf

                                                              A kind and simple soul.

                   Place this card face up in front of you. Whenever you complete a Challenge, you may discard it, or remove a silver coin from it if it has any. Whenever you fail a Challenge, add a silver coin to it.

The image showed a bald man squinting in concentration as he sawed a tree branch. He was sitting on the branch, and would certainly fall when he was finished.

                                                                               The Dog

                                                         Ever faithful, and well-trained.

                   Give this card to the player on your left. They must place it face up in front of them. If a one is rolled, they must pass this card to the left again.

The picture showed a hound with a spiked collar and a bone in its mouth.

                                                                              The Rabbit

                                                                 Go forth and multiply.

                 Place this card face up in front of you. Whenever you complete a Challenge, you may discard it, or remove a silver coin from it if it has any. Whenever you fail a Challenge, add a silver coin to it.

The image was simply two rabbits in the process of creating several more rabbits. The artist had faithfully recreated the look of satisfaction on the one on the bottom.

Staci looked over the cards, silently cursing the fact that they did not feature any detailed explanation of the effects.

“I don't really see a choice here.” said Stacy, also carefully reading each card.

“What do you mean?” asked Staci.

“Well, the dog one say you pass it to the left. That means Rose gets it, at least for a while. That's actually helpful, depending on what it does. The Rabbit seems like it'll make you want to have sex, which is inconvenient but manageable. The Oaf will probably make you dumb, and that's a terrible idea. Your brain is one of our best assets.”

Staci considered her diaper-wearing friend's words. She couldn't spot any flaw in the logic. “Thanks. You're right, that makes sense.”

Staci placed The Rabbit in front of her. She dropped The Oaf in the sink and ran the disposal. “This is yours.” She said, hand The Dog to Rose, who snatched it and dropped it next to The Black Heart.

There was a pause. Then, Staci's eyes widened.

“Are you feeling anything?” asked Chelsea.

Staci plucked at her clothing uncomfortably. She looked over at Rose. “Oh gawd. Ohhh no.” she muttered.

“What is it?” asked Stacy. Even with a mushy diaper on her butt, she found that she had a bad feeling.

“Ohhhh, gawd.” moaned Staci.

“Well, I'm not feeling anything.” said Rose.

Staci folded her hands together. Her face was downcast.  She stepped up to Rose.

“What?” asked Rose.

“Rose...oh gawd...I'm really sorry guys. Rose, can you...pet me?”

“Oh no.” groaned Chelsea. She finally got it.

“No!” said Stacy, who had realized her mistake.

Rose glanced between them suspiciously. “What?”

“Pet me. Can you just...pat my head a little? Please?”

Chelsea buried her head in her hands. “Oooh, we didn't need this.”

“Why should I?” asked Rose, her arms still crossed.

“I just...I really need to know that you approve of me.” said Staci. Her eyes looked utterly forlorn.

Rose scoffed. “I don't! I think you're a bitch! I've said so!”

“I know.” said Staci. She dropped to her knees. “You were right. I'm a bitch. Can I please make it up to you? I'll do whatever you want...Mistress.”

Rose's eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Oh, yes!” said Staci. A leather collar materialized around her neck. Her butt began shaking rapidly back and forth. “You're my Mistress. Please. Just tell me what to do from now on. I need to be your bitch! I need it so bad!”

Rose rocked her head back and exhaled in pleasure. “Oh, this is too fucking sweet!

She dropped to one knee and took Staci's head in her hands. “Who's a bitch? Who's a widdle bitch?

“Me! It's me!” said Staci, smiling as her Mistress played with her.

“Is da widdle bitch gonna do what I say? Is she? Is she?” cooed Rose.

“Yes, Mistress! Whatever you want!” gushed Staci. All her initial reluctance had been melted away. She was in doggy heaven now.

Rose kept going. She stroked Staci's belly until she flipped over onto her back. “This makes my fucking day!” she said, as Staci writhed in joy beneath her. Staci's mouth opened wide, and her tongue lolled out onto her chin. She began panting.

“What a good girl! Is my widdle bitch gonna help me win this game?”

“Of course, Mistress! I'll do whatever you tell me.” said Staci happily, and she immediately went back to panting.

Rose kept stroking Staci's belly“And when your little buddies over there lose, are you gonna be my widdle bitch for the rest of your life?”

“Yes, yes!” exclaimed Staci with great enthusiasm.

“Staci!” yelled Stacy, unable to bear the sight of her friend degrading herself.

“I'm sorry, Stacy, but Mistress comes first. She wants to win, and she should get everything that she wants.” said Staci. She began to thrusting her pelvis in the air. Two long, white ears emerged from her head.

“Dawww” cooed Rose. “My widdle bitchy is a bunny girl and a doggy girl. You wanna make happy widdle humpy-humps, don't ya bitch?”

“Yes, Mistress. May I hump you, Mistress?” pleaded the transformed woman.

Rose got to her feet. “You may hump my leg, like a good doggie. Just be sure to tell me how dumb you are, and how you chose this for yourself!”

Staci didn't hesitate. She mashed her crotch against Rose's leather-clad leg. “Mistress is so smart! I'm a dumb little bitch, and I chose this! I wanted to be your dumb, humpy little bitch, forever and ever!”

Staci kept humping until she gasped with ecstasy, her mouth hung open in a dopey grin, and she panted with satisfaction as the orgasm passed. Rose patted her head condescendingly. “Good girl.”

The die rolled. Rose looked up from her opponent's humiliation to see that Chelsea had rolled it.

“Hey! It's not your turn!” shouted Rose.

“It's the Fool's turn. Anyone can roll.” said Chelsea bitterly. She had rolled a three. She pushed the pawn forward to a white square. “I don't have to give you all night to humiliate Staci.”

“Staci can't get enough of this! Look at her face.” said Rose, Sure enough, Staci's face was the image of post-coital bliss.

“Well good. Once we roll a one, that's gonna be you panting on the floor.” said Chelsea. She drew a commoner white card. “That's more fuckin' like it.”

                                                                       The Cheetah

                                            Swift as the wind, and harder to avoid.

                 Place this card face up in front of you. Whenever you complete a Challenge, you may add a silver coin to it. Whenever you fail a Challenge, remove a silver coin from it, or discard it if it doesn't have one.

“Finally something that's just helpful. No bullshit.” said Chelsea.

“Chelsea, are you okay?” asked Stacy.

“No! We're in real trouble here. Again!” said Chelsea. “We just lost Staci. She's gone! Now all I have is my ninja sister and your smell ass to rely on. Things aren't looking good.”

“'Specially since I get two more cards this round.” said Rose. “Let's see...Score!”

                                                                                  The Bull

                                                   Crush those who stand in your way.

                    Place this card face up in front of you. Whenever you complete a Challenge, you may add a silver coin to it. Whenever you fail a Challenge, remove a silver coin from it, or discard it if it doesn't have one.

“Yeah! That's what I'm fuckin talking about! Uhhh!” shouted Rose. She began bunching the wall of the kitchen where the chains that had held her still dangled. The drywall and the studs and shattered and fell apart. It was pretty obvious what “The Bull” did. “Hey bitch! Come draw your card!”

“Yes, Mistress.” said Staci, jumping from the floor and obeying her Mistress.

                                                                                 The Eagle

                                                               Soar through the heavens.

                    Place this card face up in front of you. Whenever you complete a Challenge, you may add a silver coin to it. Whenever you fail a Challenge, remove a silver coin from it, or discard it if it doesn't have one.

Gray-feathered wings with brown speckles sprouted from Staci's back as she placed the card down next to The Rabbit. They weren't anywhere near big enough to allow a human to fly, but Stacy guessed that that wouldn't be an issue for this insane game.

“So now you're a dog-bunny-bird person?” asked Chelsea

“She's my bitch! That's all that matters!” shouted Rose. She sounded like a football player who had just snorted a line. Clearly, all her new power was going straight to her head. “Stacy, quit dawdling and pull your card. I wanna go! My turn now!”

“Somebody needs another time-out.” muttered Stacy as she picked her card form the pile.

                                                                            The Servant

                                       Someone to make life easy and comfortable.

                  Place this card face-up in front of you. Draw a card from the gray deck and place it on this card. Even if the Knight is discarded, the gray card will still remain.

Stacy did as the card demanded, wishing that she had been quicker on the draw. If she had gotten The Eagle or The Bull, she would feel a lot better about their chances. Even the constant perfume of her diaper didn't comfort her as she drew from the gray deck.

Her heart leapt. The card simply read “The Mother”.