YKS The Mag Issue #10 (Patreon)

Hello and welcome to another (adjective) edition of the YKS Newsletter, the newsletter YKS patreon subscribers are calling “fine i guess”. It is Wednesday my dudes lol. that frog with the little hat(?) That was some funny ass shit for sure.

This week’s show was the absolute worst show we’ve ever recorded. Absolute trash. A true shit-show from start to finish. I am not kidding. I fucking hated it. Total disaster. Scrap the fuckin thing and start over I said. But no one listens to me. What’s new. :/

Chip - Smart Cookie Oven

Hey its a little countertop thing to make cookies. This little guy makes about four cookies in ten minutes which should be enough to satisfy you and three of your friends. I’m joking, you know damn well you’re cutting those cookies six ways from sunday. Ain’t nobody out here could eat a whole entire cookie by them selves. 

This quar has fucked me up in the food department. I’m just eating straight up trash and not doing anything else and its, frankly, a goddamned restipe for disaster. I’m back on the intermittent fasting but this shit sucks! I could see myself at 3am hunched over this piece of shit high as fuck housing like 8(i guess 4) of these bad boys no questions asked. I’m just sitting here what else am I gonna do. 

“It all starts with an idea. We settled on cookies because we love them, and an estimated 95% of all American households eat cookies! We wanted to reexamine that whole experience and see how we could make it faster, easier, better, and more fun.”

Making cookies is so easy and its a fun activity you can do with your kids/family so what the fuck. But db  the cleanup wahh get a life. Clean up after yourself! I’m pissed!

Anyway who cares. Little dumb fuckin thing. Sucks. Fuck it.I’d smash this fuckin thing with a bat. I’d back over this shit with my car.

If you guys want to get one that’s cool, though. 

Trumped by Music - “An online documentary series of 6 short videos featuring musicians performing protest songs against the re-election of Donald Trump”

“In the rich tradition of protest music, can the collective message of musicians help to limit Trump's time in office to four years? Whatever the outcome, can musicians of all stripes help to bring together and heal a divided land? Can protest music chart a new course for America?”

You know who was a good protest music guy was that woody guthrie. What ever happened to that guy. I probably would have been best friends with that guy if we ever met. For multiple reasons. Number one, I’m extremely affable and B: I feel that we would have a lot in common. 

Db if you could hang out with any guy from history who would it be. And remember fred flintsong was not a real guy!

Excellent question and one I have pondered before. If I could have tea, or the proverbial beer with any “guy from history”, it would only be, the infamous  “Alvin Einstein” who is regarded by some to be one of the greatest thinkers of our time.

“In 2019, Frank van Osch, a Dutch documentary filmmaker, singer/songwriter and certified Americanophile went on roadtrip of America with his girlfriend to debut his latest documentary in Los Angeles, THE MOTHER OF BEAUTY. 

Along the way, they encountered some musicians performing anti-Trump protest songs, and Frank saw a side of America he had never seen before. Inspired, he teamed up with producers David Grover and Kara Heitz to produce TRUMPED BY MUSIC, meant to be a roadtrip capturing the anti-Trump sentiment of left-leaning musicians in red and swing states in the months leading up to the election.”

Stupid thing whatever. You wanna make some crappy music go right on ahead, never stopped anyone before (url=youtube+justin+beeper) 

Phone Toaster: Multifunction 5-in-1 Phone Sanitizer

I like the look of this one! So sue my ass! Cute little retro looking thing. This bad boy hit it’s goal in two days and while the science behind it seems sus, it does look cute. Still probably better off washing your hands and sanitizing your stuff the normal way. And you’re better off getting a bluetooth speaker with reputable reviews and stuff vs getting an all-in-one joint like this. I dunno. I’d get one and have it around my house. Maybe we should get one. I’m gonna bring this up to jesse. Actually Jesse if you read this let me know what you think.

I like the rounded electronics stuff. Waddya call that. Mid century modern? Prewar? Its nice. Atomic age stuff. Whatever. I’m not gonna sit here and justify my shit to you. Take this tv I saw one time. Pretty cool. They should do more stuff like that what the fuck. 

Let's Get Back to Work (Funding Cancelled) 

“Anti-Lockdown "Let's all go back to work" T-shirts. Time for the 'silent majority' to speak out. 4 designs available S to XXL”

Great shirts. They look really good too. 

Cyclone Surfer

Getting my head sliced off riding the surf machine at the fair 🤙

Card-Carrying Capitalist: The membership you always wanted

Among the many things Marx taught us about capitalism, one of the main things is that it sucks ass. I mean I just assume he said that. Could never really get into or read anything on it due to my low IQ and general disinterest but I’d have to assume ol’ Marx would take issue with this one, gang. 

“On the morning of February 24th, the Oracle of Omaha himself, Warren Buffett, showed off his Capitalist card. The truth was revealed. Warren Buffett is, in fact, a Card-Carrying Capitalist. Arguably the greatest investor of all time couldn't be alone, right?”

He’s referring to this video of Warren Buffett on CNBC where he pulls out a card he keeps in his wallet that says Capitalist on it. Thats it. That’s the thing. Now he wants to make cards and give them to people? Taking some guys “idea” and making money on it is pretty on the nose but whatev. 

“For the first time in the history of the world, membership in the world's most exclusive club is being offered for a limited time. You enter your name and your date of birth, and we do the rest. Feeling a bit extra? Hit that lifetime membership package button. Your shirt and hat, pictured below, will be sent out so that no one can question your loyalty to this cause.”

I was googling around on this guy Peter Cuderman (cooterman lol) and I think he’s the guy who runs https://twitter.com/LeadRightUSA which has a link to a trump merch website in the bio. So its just grifts all the way down for this guy. 

trumpshop.net

Sir congrats to you on bilking the maga guys for the nth time and i wish you the best on your current endeavour, of selling small cards. Bless.

xDrill | The Drill ReimaginedProject 

Wow at $74,664 (of $22,435) this drill is on a rocket ship to the moon. They packed this little sucker with so many gizmos it would make Time the Tool Man go “UHHH!”

Laser measuring, digital leveling, depth control, distance measurement, on screen leveling, I mean this bad boy's got it all! You can just use a regular ass drill though I dunno. What are you saving time and frustration-wise, by getting this thing? 

“Overall, we understand that the xDrill will not completely replace conventional ways however, it acts as a stepping stone towards incorporating digital technology into a product and industry that has not seen true innovation besides relative battery improvements and ergonomics. With that being said, we understand this product is not for everyone – especially ones that are confident in their workmanship and prefer traditional methods.”

This shit retails for 600 bucks though! That’s a lot of dough for a drill. I think I bought a little cordless jawn from amazon for like 20 bucks, and then they sent me like two extra ones so I was like great now i got all these drills. Anyway i hucked them off my roof at cars and got into a lot of trouble with the police. That did not happen I just thought it was funny to say. 

Alright gang, another newsletter in the books and we’ve come away having learned absolutely nothing, yet again. How do we do it! Find out next week, in issue 11!

File photo: Mike Hale and Jesse Farrar, hosts of Your Kickstarter Sucks, share a laugh while discussing something funny