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"What eez zese mess?"

Mimi woke up after a heavy night drinking, their ship spotless after some drunk cleaning led her to tidying up the quarters and half of the men on the ship into sexy sailor girls. She really had to stop putting her magical supplies next to the alcohol. The captain who had somehow escaped her onslaught glowered at her.

"Arr, this be why a woman at sea brings bad luck. Look at this here befouled tide! And at the spiral of Plah Conveenance as well!"

It was an algal bloom in bright pink, the heavy scent of perfume choking out everything else as barnacles on the bottom of the ship were painted into pink ruffles. The scent was so strong, birds fell from the sky, swallowed up by the pink vortex. All in all a very messy spot among the otherwise crystal blue waters of the sea.

"Eh juz steer aroun ze leetle curr-ehnt. Waz zeh big deal?"

Mimi admittedly didn't know much about steering a ship, even before she had been turned into a maid her country had no harbors so her princely tours were mostly done on horseback.

"We can't just fight the currents and ignore them! Are ye daft?! If me crew members had stronger arms to em we might be able to go full starboard and miss it, but SOMEONE had to go and turn half o' em into wee bonny lasses!"

Well it was her voyage and she didn't want to tell Barbie that it was her fault if the supplies for her new castle didn't arrive on time, so Mimi sighed, going back to her cabin to see if anything she had could clean a stain that big. It didn't help that her hangover was outpounding the waves, and since all of her good stuff was usually for stone, marble or unruly men, she was at a loss to give it much thought, bringing it all with her as the ship pulled closer to the pink vortex.

"ARRGH to think I'd lose me own big C in such a small one. Prepare yourself laddies!"

Mimi ignored the scene going on and just dumped everything she had at once, watching the spiral glow as sparks flew off the watery maelstrom.

Nothing seemed to change past an added light show, which at least meant their deaths would look a bit cooler, but Mimi wasn't ready to give up, pulling out a double plunger as she looked at the constantly swirling drain.

"Eh zee hole muz be clogged eef zeh wateh eezn't stopping."

The captain who was just about sick of Mimi's crap went to yell at her one last time as she threw the double plunger down into the depths.

"Ye blasted idiot! Tis a whirlpool, not some clogged outhouse in the back o the-"

To everyone's surprise except Mimi, the whirlpool made a choked gurgle, a water spout popping into the sky as all the algae was sucked down into the drain, the waters turning still as the crew cheered.

"All een eh dayz work. Wat evehn eez that pink stuff?"

The captain looked like he wanted to apologize, but settled for answering her question.

"Some o that magic runoff comes down from some big overlord's palace. It grows breasts aye, but plants too and in the worst cases- Wait, which overlord did you say you worked for again?"

"Oh, er-"

Now that she thought about it, she did use a lot of magic fertilizer for the plants on their cliff near the river. Ah damn did she accidentally tf a bunch of people again?

Thankfully before she would have to face any consequences for her actions, her actions had consequences, the earlier waterspout raining back down on the crew, the whole ship glowing pink as "ARR'S'' turned to "Ara Ara's" as the rest of the crew got feminized, captain included as they strutted about the deck, their eyepatch falling down, the clasp plopping out into a golden cowbell that fit nicely with what their rebranded aesthetic. Even more conveniently, no one seemed to remember what had just happened, the crew looking confused for a second before going back to sailing the ship.

"Ara ara, what was I saying? Oh yeah it's always good luck to sail the seas with women. The bustier the better! Why don't you come into my quarters Mimi?"

While Mimi wasn't against this change of pace, she was worried about the dump of magic she had thrown overboard.

"Eh, eez eet okay zat I threw all zat stuff zere?"

"Oh those're just the whirlpools of drama that drain into the currents of coincidence and karma. Nothing to worry about, now about my quarters-"

"Zat sounds bad! And why such stupid names?"

"This be Lalelulelolestia's territory and she gets to name it all. She's basically a prankster goddess and a real cu- I mean lovely lady so er, just be careful not to grab her attention or she will 'play' with whoever's caught her fancy. Though things ave been quiet around here since her pet dutchman got sent to the deep. But you can never be too sure of anything round these parts."

It took a second for all of that to sink in, Mimi's face curdling with confusion.

"Wait! Zen why are we go-een these way! Zeh regular channels are just as fast!"

The crew laughed.

"Aye they're just as fast, but they've also got tax collectors for twelve separate countries, and WE AIN'T HANDIN OUR BOOTY TO NO PENNY PINCHERS! AIN'T THAT RIGHT GIRLS!"

"YAAAAARA ARA~!"

"I'm go-eeng back to ze bed. Wake me when we land."

Meanwhile down in the deep, all of Mimi's cleaning potions and magic were being spirited down to the most mysterious segments of the waters, where no sunlight reached, no atlantean, no mermaids. All in all a pretty boring place for a goddess to look at, but it didn't escape her notice once she felt such a large batch of troublesome transformation magic swirling in the deep. As the currents twisted like a living thing, one might have been able to hear a childish giggle as they swerved to where their controller wanted them to go. Sure she might have missed spring, but it was time to answer a prayer and clean out a locker, Davy Jones's locker that was.

Contrary to popular belief, Davy Jones hadn't always been a cutthroat pirate or some menace to the world. In fact, he had been quite the opposite, a great prude and nerd, whose strict guidance to all the rules greatly annoyed everyone in ye olde school. This was in the early days, when Lalelulelolestia ran gym class at what would later be Atlantis. Davy Jones locker was just the natural outcome of being the goody two shoes suck up all the time, the meek sailor constantly being shoved into his locker in school in increasingly tighter fits as he got older. It was one day after once again complaining that they weren't following the goddess's demands that it happened, he was shoved in, but couldn't get out. No one was really sure what to do so they just left him there figuring someone else would take care of it.

He didn't mind it all that much past being unable to go to classes, but it was poor timing. Why the gods decided to drown Lalelulelolestia's school was lost to time and the lore outline. Some said they were jealous of her followers, or scared of her influence. Or maybe it was her constant intercom announcements mocking the other gods. Either way Davy Jones and his locker ended up at the bottom of the sea.

He would have remained a cautionary tale, but Lalelulelolestia had other ideas. Obviously he came back to get his revenge, and from that point on became the guider of lost souls on the seas, feared for his great kraken he had bound to his will that would be set on all who broke the rules and refused to give the goddess her dues. Why would a trickster goddess give one ornery nerd such amazing powers? When asked, she would say the same thing, "I was drunk and kind of forgot why. Why the squid face? It was what was around and he wasn't doing too hot by the time I found him. Or maybe I just thought it would be funny. But that's old stuff, want to play this board game I just made? It's got a buuunch of cool shit in it!"

So he was left unchecked for many years, the goddess not messing with him mostly cause she forgot he existed after a few decades, but recently the pecking order in the sea had been overturned, a group of ragtag heroes accidentally besting the cursed captain in a game of Old Maid. Surprisingly no one turned into a maid, but the kraken did regain its agency, and much like how his legend began, it had ripped the captain from his ship and swam to the deep, stuffing him back in his locker to forever trap the ornery nerd in the one spot he rightfully deserved. While he glowered and whined to no one but the goddess who made him, he mostly waited for the locker to rust away, biding his time and planning his revenge. For Lalelulelolestia though, it was the perfect time for some spring cleaning and a change in image for her stubborn follower. What would happen she didn't know, but it sure seemed like something fun would come out of so much chaotic cleaning magic!

Down in his locker, Davy was grumbling again, annoyed he had given such an obvious tell to lose, his reverse psychology not working on the idiot he was facing off against. The tentacles on his face were at least slowly getting him out. In another year or two he ought to have his head out, and then in another year he'd- What was that sound? The current looked odd, rainbow colors dominated by a pink center as it swirled towards him, the old sea captain hoping that the goddess had finally heeded his prayers, though the coloring did seem a bit worrisome, and did she really need to put a full vortex at him? Surely it'd be much easier to-

"GRAH!"

Any thoughts he might have had were snuffed out by the tidal wave of pink crashing over him. He might have been the master of the seas, but this wasn't the regular type of water he was used to traversing. He was being drowned in a sea of femininity.

"What sort of blasted witchery be thi- GLLBLLGGLLBBLLB~!"

Instantly the magic poured over him, corrupting the original curses that had corrupted him, his face buzzing as the tentacles on his chin spasmed like the death throes of some beached creature. But while his internals were quivering like some sea sick landlubber, his outsides were being given a deep cleaning from Mimi's potions. His skin had long ago become barnacled from the centuries of living underwater, as rough as coral and scalier than a mermaid's tail. And while it wasn't the normal marble, it certainly needed some livening up as the hardened outer layer cracked under the combined exfoliating and washing power of the cleaning supplies, the old tearing away with a bit of slime as the new skin was bright red from irritation, fading to a dull pink as it gained a healthy glow.

The fact that his body looked as smooth as a newborn now though barely registered as his chintacles committed a mutiny, shriveling inside his face as his features bubbled and warped like waterlogged wood, shockingly painless though it helped that his head was part invertebrate. Some calcium in the mix helped take care of the formlessness though, cute features carving into his jowls, angling his chin as cartilage jutted out the middle of his face, Davy getting a nose for the first time in years as the choking scent of the algae and supplies made him gag. All at once his head reformed, the tentacles exploding out the top with a confused moan, coated in algae as they turned a bright pink, more octopus than squid as they tumbled down like locks of hair. With a gurgly hack the changing pirate finally dislodged some of what he thought he swallowed, only to hear a sultry voice leave his lips as the newly formed skull glared down with a look more likely to harden cocks than frighten anyone.

"A WOMAN?! I GET TRAPPED HERE FOR A YEAR AND NOW I'M BECOMING SOME SORT OF SEA WE-EEHHHNCH~!"

His idle thought was cut off by the double plungers slamming into his chest, the black cups rubbing against his body before they got to work on trying to pull out whatever blockage was set before them. In all of Davy Jones's many centuries of work, never did he think he'd be bested by such a dumb 'weapon,' his form struggling inside the locker as the plungers depressed before pulling back out. He squealed in his new voice, hair tentacles desperately tugging as his port and starboard pulled forwards, the suction widening his nipples while tugging at his shifting internals.

Another depression and he was practically screaming, bubbles rushing in a flurry from his mouth as the suction tugged on his waist and shoulders, his sides squeezing inwards to the start of a curve while the falling plunger sucks now smashed into something plump, round and sensitive underneath. It felt like all of his body's mass was being pulled towards two whirlpools around his nipples, arms and fingers shrinking, his spine rattling as it cracked, his formless stomach pulling into a ridged, feminine formation that gyrated as his top half pushed free from the locker, though that hardly mattered to him as the plungers pulled out with a surge of ecstasy.

His breasts were outgrowing the plungers now, their attempts to depress only slamming into his nipples, setting the moaning monster on edge as he felt his pride and joy pointing aft, his stores about to blow like cannon fire if he didn't stop this soon. With two rough pulls from his hands and tentacles combined, the wooden sticks in the plungers broke off, their magical sucking finally at an end as he moaned, the stuck cups like a black bra on a chest too big to mark with just one x. He threw the sticks to the vortex, ready to howl, not ready to give up yet, only for the twisting current to send them hurtling back, spearing his jewels and burying them.

"AAAHHHH~!"

The lust dripped from every second of the moan, his groin gulping as his balls shot inwards, the water turning murky as his cannon was irrevocably pulled back into his body's hold as the almost woman squealed in agonized ecstasy. It was pounding into her, the sticks stirring up her insides as her cock continued to unload whatever it held, shrinking and pressing in until a large bubble tumbled through the waters, the dutchman no longer accurate as Diva Jones went on her maiden voyage through female ecstasy.

She wasn't ready, her legs turning to jelly as the sticks thrust into her clit, the metaphorical becoming literal as her pants began to split. She tumbled out the locker, moaning heatedly as her fingers tugged at the invading sticks, her thighs throbbing as algae poured into them. The bones inside dissolved, their girth swelling inhumanly wide, the flesh taking on the pink pallor as her pinkie toes merged with their neighbors. With four digits on each toes, the swelling continued, the backs of her legs and the soles of her feet paling to a brighter pink a small suckers formed, the sensations in her legs doubling, no tripling, no, rising past anything she could imagine, the newly minted mistress of the sea screaming as her hips bucked with wild need, the lines between toes tearing as her legs began to separate into eight, hot pink tentacles.

The appendages weren't like her chin ones, far more bulky and sensitive, the slapping tentacles mixing together chaotically as she tried to regain control, trying to use them to retrieve the sticks currently diving into her depths. On one hand she succeeded, cringing a little as a sucker wrapped around them and pulled them out on her fourth attempt. On the other, in her thought to pump her hands up in victory, another few tentacles shoved inside her welcoming clam, the freed dutchess's screams echoing through the great seas as a shiver of arousal and fear filled every sailor's hearts.

"Like the new body?"

Diva gasped, the goddess responding to her cries for the first time in ages, the new her annoyed and aroused.

"What in the seven seas have ya done to me?!"

From her immediate anger it was clear not much had changed in the mental department.

"Darn. I figured the maid's magic would have made you more carefree or girly or something. Though I will say you're much easier on the eyes."

She ignored the formless ponderings, knowing it was useless to yell at a trickster like her without losing even more of who she was. And also she had to admit her new body felt amazing, even if it was overly sensitive. But she'd get used to that in time.

"Just get me back my ship and crew. I'll make sure to punish them and give them their just-"

"Oh yeah about that. See the contracts you had with them were only valid while you were still captain. Since they successfully mutinied you... well... yeah."

Why those no good dairty-

"Then how the hell am I meant to rule the seas! I'm the damn diva of the- Eh Hem, I mean I'm the-"

It was too late, the goddess had already heard the slip up and giggled at their acceptance.

"Lighten up Diva, now's the perfect time to have some fun. So what about those old idiots? They'll come back to the sea eventually and I'm sure you can turn them into mermaids or whatever. You need a ship and a crew, doesn't that sound like a fun adventure?"

She guessed, and it would be fun to stretch out her revenge, but she had one glaring problem.

"How am I even meant to find the people to turn without a ship that goes there automatically?"

She didn't like the malicious giggles her trickster goddess was giving, gulping as she whispered, "Oh I have just the thing in mind, and a bit of an outfit change too!"

------

The pirate orgy after Mimi's safe landing was in full swing, the pirate girls full on booty, both from the overlord, and from their captain who had been going at it for hours now, still unsatisfied. That made the surprise gunshot a real mood killer as the crew turned, realizing no one was guarding as a pink octopus woman appeared on deck, a sword in one hand and a smoking one shot gun in the other.

"Ye have sullied the name of our goddess with yer tax evasion and fraud! The sea takes its dues when the government doesn't, yet you cheap harlots have done neither! I give you who are close to cumming, or have cum already a choice. Servitude or death!"

The girls all found this pretty funny, the captain eyeing their invader's voluptuous body while keeping a scowl on her face.

"Listen here bitch! I'm the captain of this ship and these are my girls to mess with! Now slip back into the sea before I fry you into calamari and make you my who-OOOOHHHH~!"

It didn't take Diva long to put her tentacles to work, the captain reduced to a giggling moaning wreck covered in slime and sucker hickies all over her body. Surprisingly after the display, all the other girls jumped at the chance to join Diva, at the request she do more of the same.

It was a little odd to have a willing crew for once, but Diva took it in stride, setting course after initiating each new girl to the new Jones pirates.

"ALRIGHT LADIES! LET'S MAKE EVERY LANDLUBBER WHO SETS OUT MOAN OUT THE NAME OF DIVA JONES AND HER BAND OF LASSES! IT'S A BIG SHIP, AND WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF LIVES AND COCKS TO BE COLLECTING!"

"ARA ARA CAPTAIN!"

And thus, a new legend of the sea was born.

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