Writer's Blog: Speaking Styles (Patreon)

In college, I took a screenwriting class where we had to write a short script in groups of four. Although it soon became obvious that I was incapable of constructing a short plot able to be played out in fifteen minutes, and that I became bored and distracted when asked to write the scenery and stage direction. What I was good at was editing dialogue so that each character sounded distinct, and it quickly became my role in the group. The other three would write the first draft, and then I would rewrite all the lines so that, even if we had to double up on parts in order to read our script aloud to the class, it was always obvious which character was speaking.

When writing a traditional story or interactive fiction, sometimes syntax and speaking styles can blend together. Editing dialogue in draft two is perhaps the only part of editing that I truly enjoy—I go through the story/game a separate time for each character, keeping in mind the “rules” of the way that they speak and making sure that everything they say abides by these standards. Earlier this year, I wrote a tumblr post about how I do that for Kenzie’s dialogue:

How to write dialogue for K Zarneki:

Step 1: Write a normal human answer.

Example: “I drink occasionally. Why do you ask?”

Step 2: Take out all superfluous words.

Becomes: “I drink.”

Step 3: Decide if words are absolutely needed. If not, delete them.

End Result: Kent arches a single eyebrow, because of course he’s the type of person able to do so.

This showcases Kenzie’s personality: they’re reserved, a little wry, and prefer to express themselves nonverbally (plus, they also secretly enjoy making people squirm, since many people—myself included—aren’t comfortable with silence).

When I eventually go back to edit Mind Blind, I’ll be doing this for each and every character throughout. I have these rules in mind when writing, of course, but they often take a backseat to my efforts to simply get the first draft down on page. Still, I thought it would be fun to share my some of my rules for the rest of Mind Blind’s main cast (most have more than three, but these are the ones I found most amusing and are easiest to explain).

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Rules for Writing Grayson Black:

Rule 1: Please and thank you. Thank you and please.

Rule 2: Often presents opinions as statements of fact. (“It’s inspiring.”/ “It definitely shouldn’t be eaten.” / “Without Nick, ${Name}’s cover is as good as burned.”)

Rule 3: Not above a good tormented ellipses. (“Button, I . . .”)

* * * *

Rules for Writing Sally Alavidze:

Rule 1: Sally is prone to exaggeration. (“I crave color. I need it. Do you know how hard it is for me to wear Aeon’s ugly uniform? It kills my soul, ${Name}.”)

Rule 2: Sally is a casual speaker. “No” becomes “Nope,” “Yes” becomes “Yeah” or “Sure,” etc.

Rule 3: Nicholas not Nick. Always.

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Rule for Writing Glitch Parker

Rule 1: Provides their own verbal drumrolls before revealing information. (“That’s not even the best part” / “You won’t believe what else” / “Oh, it gets better”)

Rule 2: Will never converse with authority non-sarcastically. (Sorry, Rosy Posy.)

Rule 3: Fond of rhyme even when not quoting poetry. (“Then I’d give you my number after class, because my time and personage are both unattached.”)

* * * *

Rules for Writing Rosy Kim:

Rule 1: Rosy is a formal speaker. Abbreviations, slang, and filler words should be used sparingly.

Rule 2: Do not use phrases like “I think” or “It seems.” Rosy does not think, Rosy knows.

Rule 3: Rosy does not make suggestions, they give orders.