MB Blooper Reel . . . of Button's Bloopers (Patreon)

For those not on discord: Kenzie’s date and the second file for Chapter 12 will be uploaded Saturday, along with the first of Chapter 13 (which has two main alternate pathways). One of these split scenes in Chapter 13 is based off Chapter 2’s assignment as far as variability and options.

(Warning: slight spoilers ahead.)

Originally, this scene contained a plethora of ways for Button to fail just like in Chapter 2. However, I then realized that this task ultimately differed from the assignment in a fundamental way: in school, failure can be a learning opportunity . . . or an opportunity to mess with your instructor and then write them an, uh, interesting essay (please don’t do this with your professors in real life). In contrast, Chapter 13 involves an actual mission, where Button has a team of intelligent people to point out that, no, humans can not fit down modern chimneys (although something else can!). 

Going along with plans that would clearly fail would be out of character for Glitch and Kenzie, at least while they're on a deadline.

Thus, I got rid of all the scenes where Button failed to enter a . . . let's call it a house. Button can still suggest ridiculous ways, but with the time limit being what it is, well, no one should be up for bubble-wrap armor this time around. They need to take their jobs semi seriously. There are still eight ways of entry, but for now enjoy this blooper reel of Button bloopers.

(Also known, as Button’s scrapbook of ridiculous ideas.)

* * * *

You wiggle your shoulders, but it’s of no use: your head can fit through the chihauhau-sized doggy door. The rest of you, alas, cannot.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” you say, hoping that Glitch can hear you through the door.

“Oh, take your time!” comes Glitch’s carefree response. “I’m just admiring the view.”

* * * *

“Nick told me that Santa used bacon grease to help slide down chimneys,” you admit.

Kent opens his mouth, then closes it.

“Look,” you say defensively, “I believed it until I was nine because it seemed feasible. So, here’s what I’m thinking . . .”

By the time you’re done listing the ingredients that you’ll need from the local grocery store, Glitch has been rendered inarticulate with laugher (Kent just remains his normal type of quiet).

“It’s such a bad idea,” Glitch gasps. “I say we do it.”

Kent looks at her, then back at you. He sighs.

* * * *

“I still say I should be the one to wield the fire axe,” you complain.

Kent sighs.

* * * *

“Grab a shovel,” you order Glitch and Kent. “Operation Mole-rat is a go.”

Kent sighs.

* * * *

“Do you happen to have a spare rocket launcher?” you ask Glitch.

She gives you a condescending look. “I always have a spare rocket launcher.”

Kent sighs.

* * * *

“Just make sure to give me a head start before you press the detonator,” you tell Glitch.

“Operation Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a go,” Glitch says with a sassy salute. “See you on the other side, soldier.”

Something about the way she says that gives you pause. You glance at her.

“The other side of the street,” she clarifies.

Kent sighs.