Dungeons and Devils 2 (Chapter 13) (Patreon)

"Heeeey Nagure?" Serafall begins slowly.

"Yeah?" I question as I quietly flip a steak that is sizzling in the pan.

"You know Rias?"

"Tomato girl, yeah?" I nod.

"Her engagement has been moved up." Serafall states.

"Okay?" I mutter.

"The engagement that she doesn't want to be a part of..." She continues.

"This is my problem... how?" I question.

"Rias is Sona's friend... it's safe to say she's Sona's best-slash-only friend... if she gets married, she'd be forced to leave Kuoh... Leave Sona... and, well, as serious as Sona tries to appear I know for a fact that she'll be sad after Rias leaves... besides, I owe Seras and while I can't really interfere... I CAN offer some vague assistance in training... Primarily because I disliked how Riser Phenex kept sending his familiar here to my territory without my permission. Admittedly this reason is extremely petty so I can't do anything of substance to the marriage contract, but having some 'random' barely high-class youkai train Rias and her peerage? Training them myself would be far too much, but in this case there's not much they can do."

"…"

She gives me a sly wink. "I'll pay you baaaack~"

"I want magical weaponry."

"Done!" The girl grins.

"I'll also need a reason for my sudden disappearance... because I'm going to pretend to be some other kitsune for a while."

"I'll forge some documents to get you out of school for two weeks due to a family emergency." Serafall smiles.

**Linebreak**

"Sooooo Ria-tan! You've got fourteen days! Fourteen days to get your peerage SUPER strong! Now... I personally, cannot train you, yet I pulled a couple of strings and managed to bring someone to help out!"

"Huh?" The red haired girl blinks owlishly. "What do you mean."

"Well, why don't I introduce you... come on out Argo."

I cancel my invisibility, appearing right next to Serafall.

"Yo." I wave, my voice at a higher pitch than my normal tone.

"Who... is this?" Rias mutters.

"Hello, my name is Argo Duke Nauru, and I am a youkai." I greet.

"…" Rias and her peerage stare blankly at me.

"Serafall called me to train you because her hands are tied and she can't do it personally, thus she chose a random nobody youkai with zero achievements. They can't complain if I've never accomplished anything, right?" I ask with an impish grin.

Rias' eyes snap from me to Koneko who stares with wide eyes, her shoulders stiff.

I cast a slow gaze around the clearing to all of her peerage members, Koneko, Akeno, Kiba, Issane, and even Sari. It appears Vritra went with the Gremory team this time.

"From what I've heard, you've got your work cut out for you." I point out idly.

"Uh- yeah..." Rias weakly agrees.

"I'll leave you to it." Serafall nods as she turns and begins to walk away.

"I'll cut right to the chase!" I grin "Your peerage is filled with a bunch of psychologically compromised individuals who desperately need therapy. Your peerage has so much raw potential... yet they are tarnished as they are right now."

"Wh-" Rias' eyes narrow as her temper seems to flare.

I point to Akeno. "You sealed off a power which could solve Rias entire mess, seemingly not caring that her life will be in shambles if she loses this fight. Rias has been there for you in your times of need, the least you can do is actually fucking try when she desperately needs your help."

Akeno's eyes narrow.

"Now hold on a minute! Akeno doesn't have to use that-" Rias protests.

I point to Kiba. "You go absolutely feral when someone mentions a certain holy sword."

His strained 'polite' smile which had been slowly drifting downwards- after I started tearing into Akeno verbally at least- transforms into a glower.

"And he has a right to! You have no idea what that sword did to him-" Rias tries again.

I look to gender bent Issei and Saji. "You two are just weak... not your faults, you're new to this life. We can work on it."

"They are strong-"

My eyes slide over to Koneko. "And you..."

I fall silent and let out a quiet sigh and shake my head. "You poor, poor girl. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Then there's the two you are unable to use." I finish with a final nod.

"Who are you to dictate what my peerage-"

"Rias. You did a good job of not letting them get worse, hell, you maybe even helped them a little bit, but your peerage, barring the newbies aren't well adjusted individuals. It's not your fault. There's no way in hell that you, when you first got your peerage members, should have been forced to seek out ways to get them therapy yourself... that should have been a responsibility of your parents. Why they didn't help in the first place, I don't know, but I, as a guy with a degree in psychological warfare, will attempt to help your peerage one by one... firstly the easiest."

I pull out a strange straight longsword, holy aura pours off of it as I smile. "This is the missing Excalibur fragment... Excalibur Ruler."

I shift my grip slightly and parry Kiba's enraged slash that was going for my neck.

With a flick my wrist the pommel slams into his nose, drawing some blood.

The blade of the sword swipes across his leg and as Rias screams...

I trip him with the sharpened edge by tugging his ankle out from under him.

"…"

The illusion of the sword fades, revealing it to be nothing more than a curved walking stick.

The entire Gremory peerage is absolutely stunned.

I thunk Kiba atop the head with the end of the cane weakly. "Kiba. You are raging at an INANIMATE object."

"That blade is the reason my family died! Is this all some form of joke to you?!"

"No. Because if it were a joke I would be laughing." I glare down at him. "You hate is reasonable... but you are taking the easy way out."

He seems caught off guard. "Wh-"

"You heard me. You. Are. Taking. The. Easy. Way. Out."  I chastise as I poke his chest with the end of the cane after each word. "Your fucking revenge complex against Excalibur is laughably pointless. What happens when, by some miracle of HIM, you manage to break an Excalibur hnn?"

"…"

"Nothing. Nothing happens. The church will gather that broken sword and remake it. It's utterly pointless unless you have some way to dispose of the broken pieces... such as absorbing it into a sacred gear like blade blacksmith... or some other faction to sell it to because a deity wanted some fragments of Arthur's legacy in their treasure room... What was your plan if you even found one? Attack the exorcist wielding it? Oh, that'll go well. If you win, congrats, you've just murdered an exorcist and potentially started a second great war, possibly dooming all of your friends to die on the battlefield. If you were weaker, well, sorry, you're dead now. Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering you would cause your friends?!"

Kiba stares at the ground.

Holy shit... it looks like he is about to start crying.

PAHAHAHAH oh my god I nearly made Kiba cry with facts and logic!

"W-What should I do, then?! My family was killed in that damn project. A-are you telling me to ignore their sacrifice?! Should I just abandon my foolish quest for revenge?!"

"Of course not! Are you stupid or something?! Revenge is badass!" I grin down at the teen. "You are just targeting the wrong thing..."

"What... should I do, then?" The boy whispers.

"I said you are taking the easy way out because you are taking your frustrations out on a Non-sentient item... all you need to do is change your desire of revenge from a worthless broken item and those that wield it... to the person who did all of this to you... the head of the project. Hell, and if you're up to it, each and every single child murdering psychopath who took a part in it."

"Who... who did all this?" The blonde growls, staring into my eyes with a glare.

"No clue." I state with a small head shake. "That's your thing to find out. I was just given a brief overview of you and your peerage-mates history and abilities. I do know where you can look first, though... there's actually two exorcists in training at your school. One has blue hair, and the other is a strawberry blonde with twin-tails."

"I-Irina?! I-Is that why she was so cold to me recently?!" Issane questions.

I look up and nod once. "Yes."

Then I look back to Kiba. "Overall, they aren't bad people. If you tell them your story, and the reason why you want this information, they will probably hear you out and tell you... or at the very least ask their guardians about it. If they don't know anything, the guardians probably do... oh, and I'll warn you. The blue haired girl is a bit of a bitch, but can you blame her? She was raised BY the church. She might say some highly insensitive things to you and the other girl is extremely air headed so she might unintentionally say some hurtful things. Just stick with it and it should pay off. If you feel like you might snap, just look at it this way, you got lucky that you were able to escape the clutches of the church... they weren't, and thus they were indoctrinated and brainwashed into their beliefs."

He stares up at me for a long moment as I offer him a hand.

He takes it and allows himself to be pulls up. "Argo... thank you... you...  managed to make me think straight for the first time in years..."

He lets out a weak sigh as he runs a hand through his hair, wiping his hand across his bleeding nose. "Looking back on it, I can see that putting all my hate against the sword miiiight have been a bit of a bad idea."

"I'd suggest taking a while to think everything through. You are probably one of the people in the peerage who needs the least amount of training... but don't slack off. Even if you need little training to be up to par with Riser's peerage, you should strive to be a pillar which could singlehandedly win the game for Rias if all goes well."

"Right." The blonde nods as he turns and behind to walk away. "President, I'll be going inside."

"…"

The rest of the group are absolutely stunned silent.

""What the hell just happened?"" Rias and Issane question simultaneously.

"Welcome to Argo's boot camp! Where I'll break you down, make you cry, and build you up even greater than before!" I grin.

I look to Akeno. "Now you."

Her surprised expression falls into a glare.

"You have a reason to hate your father. But your hatred of all fallen angels is fucking ridiculous. Grow up. Your father, as one of the leaders of the Grigori, had a job to do. I'm not even going to pretend I know the reason why there was a period where he left you on your own against the world... maybe he couldn't find you, or maybe he just simply couldn't bear to see the daughter he failed. What I fail to understand, is why you refuse to use his power when Rias is about to be forced into a loveless marriage. And even more so I'm wondering why you are keeping your family name WHEN IT WAS THE HIMEJIMA CLAN WHO MURDERED YOUR MOTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

A silence echoes throughout the forest as the girl stares, rooted in shock.

"W... what?" She hollowly whispers.

"Your mother was a potential candidate for the vermilion bird, so her own uncle- your grand uncle fucking killed her. Ensuring that the fire chicken would go into your cousin instead of leaving it up to the nine to ten odds... All of this purely because they didn't want someone who they banished for falling in love, gain the power that their clan reveres. Your mother's family are utter monsters. Killing peaceful youkai, washing their hands of people born without the blessing of the shinto gods, and potentially even KILLING children born with sacred gears because it is a power not of their gods."

"You, Akeno Himejima, are a fucking Hypocrite. Proclaiming at the top of your lungs that a race is full of thieves, murders, and evil bastards when your own clan you so proudly represent is just as bad if not worse."

"Use your holy lightning to help defeat Riser before the one person who took you in suffers because of your stupid misplaced pride." I lowly growl.

The black haired girl looks stunned, since coming to Rias I doubt anyone has actually shouted at her.

I look over to Koneko. "You... have issues which require a more delicate touch. You sealed off your emotions out of fear... but... that fear is unfounded."

"What?" She asks in her classic deadpan tone; uncertainty crosses her normally emotionless features. "What do you mean by... that?"

"You think your sister with mad due to Senjutsu... but that's actually not correct. 'greater' youkai, such as Kitsune, Nekomata, and others fully humanoid youkai never fall victim to 'Senjutsu corruption'. Which begs the question why your elder sister who seemed to care about you more than anything else snapped and killed her master." I continue. "Perhaps he threatened you?"

"But... he..." The girl begins slowly.

"The only way to truly know what happened is to ask her, I suppose." I sigh as I shake my head.

"Hey, Yukari, if you are looking over my shoulder like you always do, do you have the answer for us?"

*Riiiiip*

A blonde woman leans through a sudden rift in the air, the Gremory group is instantly on guard from the mere presence she exudes.

"W-WHAT THE HELL?!" Issane shouts.

"Hn... I had spoken to Kuroka shortly after the event in question all those years ago... I wanted to know why she did it. It turns out, she was subject to horrid experiments... all in order to create an artificial super devil... she allowed these experiments to happen so you, Shirone, could have a peaceful life... but one day she heard that the Naberius devil, her master, was going to expand his experiments to you... so she killed him and ran away, not expecting those fools to try and execute you as you were unrelated to her crime."

"B-Big sis... did that?" Koneko asks. "F-For me?"

"Indeed." The woman nods as she quickly goes back through the rift. Probably going back to watching Tv.

The white haired girl falls to her knees, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes.

She looks disgusted with herself, seemingly hating how she thought her sister was a monster when it appears that she was just doing things for the girl's own good.

"W-What?!" Rias lowly whispers. "What the hell was that?!"

"That was Yukari Yakumo. The strongest Youkai. Someone who causes even deities pause... I heard that she made a few families in the underworld disappear a couple years ago as retribution for the devils lashing out at the youkai factions."

"W-Wait... that was h-her?!" Rias questions, eyes growing wide as she nervously shifts in place. "W-Why do you know her?! I-I thought you said that you were a youkai with no achievements."

Two fluffy brown ears appear atop my head as four tails sprout from my back. "Well, I mean, I am the only male kitsune that is currently alive. So, I wouldn't say that I'm totally without political weight."

"OH MY GOSH! FOX BOY!" Fem Issei shouts, probably creaming her pants at the mere sight of an animal eared race in person.

"Anyways... I'll allow you to think that over, Koneko~" I smile brightly as my tails poof up slightly.

"Akeno." I frown at the black haired girl.

I don't wait for a response as my tails blur forwards, Wrapping around Issane and Sari.

A lewd grin crosses Issane's face as Sari squirms in my grasp. "H-Hey! Put me down."

"Shooo floofy~" the other girl whispers.

I pick them both up. "I'll be taking these two to train. There's a lot I need to cover with them."

I wave my hand through the air, casting a Youjutsu spell to grant myself flight.

"I'll bring them back later today." I state as with a sudden movement I blast off into the sky.

**Linebreak**

"Alright you two." I begin slowly as I look between the two girls. "You need the most work out of all of Rias peerage. You both have sacred gears, so you already have an advantage over Riser's peerage. Can you summon your sacred gears?"

"I've just got this lame iguana thing." Sari sighs as a black lizard-like bracer appears on her forearm.

"Ah. Absorption line. That's pretty powerful."

"I've just got this." Issane sighs as a red bracer appears on her forearm.

'ah. The boosted gear is still in its twice critical phase.'

"The boosted gear?" I mutter with a slight frown.

"Huh?" The brown haired girl questions. "Rias called this a Twice Critical..."

"I mean... it's possible." I note with a small head tilt. "But at the end of the day... you are worth seven pawns... any of the Vritra gears, such as absorption line is better than a twice critical... there are two options for you, firstly, judging by your sacred gear's color, you are this generation's 'Red Dragon Empress'. Or, the second option, is that it is a mere twice critical and you have a bloodline comparable to a god-killing sacred gear. So, like, are you a demi-god or something? Maybe descended from a daiyoukai? Heroic reincarnation of someone like Le Fay perhaps?"

"N-No?"

"Then it's probably the boosted gear." I nod. "In its current state you are just too weak to use its full capabilities."

"Oh..." The teen dejectedly mutters.

"That will change in the coming weeks though." I continue. "Firstly I am going to train the two of you to gain a good foundation for your future strength."

"A... foundation? Rias said we should just focus on trying to use our sacred gears..." Sari mutters.

"Well, Rias isn't the one training you, now is she? It's me. And I'm going to train you my way... the way where you won't regret your training later. Dread it and think about it in a cold sweat years from now? Possibly. But not regret it."

"W-What do you mean by that?" Issane questions.

"You see, while getting better at your sacred gear MAY cause your power to increase quickly... your entire strength will be like a house built upon straw. Sure, you'll be able to build the 'first floor' quickly due to skipping the process of building your foundations... yet your house will crumble should you try to build much beyond the floor or use heavier materials."

I look to the wielder of the boosted gear. "The boosted gear doubles power. You are currently a 'one'. Anything that can even slightly be considered supernatural is automatically a ten on this scale. That means you'd need to boost thrice to even be close to a supernatural creature."

I look to Sari. "And you. The Absorption line takes power from whoever is trapped within its line and draws it into you or someone you designate. But as you are now, you are like a paper cup trying to drain a water cooler with a straw."

"if you were to train your sacred gears, sure, you might be able to increase the number of times you can boost." I begin while gesturing to Issane. "And while yes, that would technically improve your strength... it's far more energy efficient just to raise your base up to a 'two' or a 'three'."

"As for you, you might be able to grow the straw into a hose, but what good is that if you are merely draining power into a paper cup?" I question while looking to Sari. "People in this supernatural world improve at a faster rate when they are weaker... which is why we will be focusing on your bodies first... we will of course be moving onto your sacred gears as well, but not for a couple of days."

"Now... I want to see just how skilled you two are... both of you... attack me at once... I don't care if you use your sacred gears, just do what you feel is best... I'll be sure to pull my punches."

**Linebreak**

Two girls weakly groan as they lay on the ground, they are bruised and battered, dirt clings to their clothing and hair as they look like they were at in the middle of a miniature hurricane.

"Just think... I'm barely even considered high class... Riser's just as strong as this if not stronger. Plus, he won't dodge. He'll just abuse his regeneration."

"You are... Psychotic!" Sari growls.

I let out a low hum and tilt my head. "Well, that was quite rude... and here I was about to heal you."

"H-Heal?" Issane questions.

"Sit up." I order the two girls.

Sari weakly sits up while Issane struggles.

I walk over and take a seat behind the blonde girl.

My hand slips under her shirt and presses into the center of her back.

"EEK-" she flinches forwards. "I-I didn't consent to this!"

The action which could be seen as lewd causes Issane to sit up in one swift movement.

"I need to be close to touching the center of your body... so it's either your front of your back. You pick." I idly hum as I continue. "Plus, to be fair... your consent isn't really a factor here. If you think your life is going to be anything other than hellish if Rias loses, I'm going to correct those thoughts now... Rias is perhaps one of the nicest devils in the underworld. Rias sees you as her friends and family... others see reincarnated devils as lesser. With Rias being married to Riser, and due to misogyny despite three of the four new satans being female, he will be able to order her around... and through ordering her around, he will be able to order you around. Riser won't ask for consent, after all you are currently nothing more than a low class reincarnated devil... why shouldn't he use his wife's peerage as an extended harem? He's a great high-class devil of the Phenex bloodline! You are beneath him! You should be happy that you have drawn his attention!"

As I am speaking I close my eyes an activate my new feat.

Senjutsu Healing:
Prerequisites: Youkai Level 5th, Heal Skill 1 Rank, 'Senjutsu' Feat.
You have learned to harness your life energy to heal those around you through skin-on skin contact.  
By touching a target with a bare hand, and by spending a Ki point, you grant them Fast Healing 1.  
this healing may be improved to 1+Your Wisdom Modifier should you have excessive bare physical contact with the target, such as spooning them while both of you are completely naked. Additionally, while in this state, you begin to heal their life force, healing 1 days' worth of life force for every round you remain in this state.

Sari shifts slightly as I enter a slight meditative trance, she seems to observe her own cuts and bruises disappearing, so she lets out a quiet sigh and leans against my hand.

"This is... sort of slow." The girl mutters, a minute now having passed and her body still not being completely healed.

"The rate of healing increases the more bare physical contact I have with you, I had just assumed you didn't want to get naked." I casually shrug.

"S-Slow's good." The girl replies before falling silent... for about twelve seconds.

"I-ISSANE! W-WHy are you taking off your shirt?!"

"If he wants bare contact heheheh I'll give him bare contact~"

"Issane put your shirt back on." I deadpan without even twitching or opening my eyes.

"Awww... don't you want to grope me?"

"I have a girlfriend." I reply.

"Pfft. It's totally normal for supernatural men to have harems, riiiiight? Even more so for someone as rare as you, right?"

"You're right... I have three girlfriends." I answer honestly.

"…"

"I do not have time to romance right now." I declare as I slowly stand walk over and taking a seat behind the shirtless brown haired girl, she wears a bra but it look like she is seconds away from taking it off.

I heal her just as I did with Sari then stand up. "Alright, let's go again. There's one thing I would like the two of you to learn during this training."

A white aura of power flares around me for a moment before being reduced to a mere outline. "This... is Touki. It is a special power that anyone with Senjutsu can use... yet, the thing is, you don't need senjutsu to make use of it... Touki requires you to know how to command your own life force... and you can learn how to do that with incredibly intensive training. I doubt you two will be able to learn it in a mere two weeks."

"Touki allows you to improve your strength, speed, and durability drastically for short moments... it even allows you to dispel magic by punching it... plus it sort of acts like a suit of armor and lessens impact damage to your body, when added to the earlier durability increasing effect it's quite the potent defense."

I cup my chin and let out a low hum. "Perhaps I should incentivize you two."

I point to the blonde. "If you can use this, I'll give you an entire day off of physical training."

I look to the brown haired girl. "And you... if you can do it I'll..."

"I want a smooch if I can do it!" She demands.

"How about I let you pet my ears and tails instead." I haggle.

"DEAL!" The girl exclaims as a lustful pervy grin crosses her face.

**Linebreak**

I hope they can learn Touki...

I may be pushing my new special quality's limits.

Illustrious Trainer:
You have a quite the way with teaching. With this special quality you now have the ability to teach others your abilities. A barbarian can teach someone how to enter a 'Rage', a bard can teach someone how to use 'Bardic Inspiration'. Teamwork feats, spells, and even special qualities are teachable.  
The time it takes to teach someone something is dependent on many factors such as the target's natural affinity for something, their motivation to learn it, the difficulty to learn it, etc~
Note: a target of this ability must have the prerequisites for abilities/feats, thus someone you have just taught how to use bardic inspiration wouldn't be able to use 'Inspire Heroics' unless they are trained to the point where they might as well be a 15th level bard, learning everything a bard would up until that point. Thus, picking a feat or special quality with prerequisites will begin to teach those prerequisites.

Touki's requirements are QUITE steep for someone who's not a Youkai. If they don't learn it by day seven, I'll just abandon it and move onto their sacred gears. Being trained in touki is doing its job of improving their bodies already so it wouldn't be a total loss to just abandon it.

I also plan to teach Koneko some stuff.

Senjutsu and Touki, of course, just to get her back into the groove of things, but I also plan to teach her Youjutsu annnnd a special little thing I got from my new prestige class!

Touki Champion:
Prerequisites: Youkai, Level Seventh, BAB 5, 'Senjutsu' Feat, 'Touki' Feat, 16 in Constitution, 16 in Wisdom.

Hitdie: d10
BAB: Full
Skills: 2+Int
Spell Progression: None
Saves:
Fortitude: Good
Reflex: Good
Will: Good

Level 1: Touki Infusion:
You have learned how to infuse your weapons with your Ki, improving damage and resilience. by infusing a ki point into a weapon its damage increases by 1d4+your Wisdom Modifier, for additional Ki points you may increase this damage by an extra 1d4 for every extra added Ki point. In addition, for every point of Ki you invest into the weapon, its hardness improves by 2 and it gains 5 hitpoints.
Note: You may only infuse a number of Ki points into your weapon equal to 1+1 for every point of your Wisdom modifier.
This increase in damage and durability lasts 1 minute.

Level 1: Enduring Toughness:  
For each level in this prestige class, the damage reduction Touki gives you is improved by an extra 2 (Multiplied by 1.5 when used within your Youkai form)

Touki infusion will increase her damage by a little bit, and enduring toughness will play nicely with her rook defense.

She should THEORETICALLY meet all the prerequisites... maybe not 'level seven' but beyond that? She should be golden.

Sort of a shame that this prestige class doesn't let me progress in spellcasting, but ah well, I'll need this as a prerequisite for 'Youkai Sage', then that as a prerequisite for a super special little prestige class called 'Student of the Gap'.

I WONDER what that prestige path does.

The main problem is... Youkai sage is an epic level prestige class... and it also requires me to do the 'Senjutsu Initiate' prestige class, a class that revolves more around the healing and youjutsu aspects of Senjutsu.

I also unlocked the second level abilities of 'Touki Champion' but all in all they are sort of less impressive than the first level.

Level 2: Sustaining Touki:
You have learned how to keep your Touki active for much longer than normal, granting you 2 minutes of empowerment per Ki point spent instead of merely 1. this special quality also applies to 'Touki Infusion'.

Level 2: Extra Ki:
You gain an additional +2 to your maximum Ki pool.

Admittedly, I may teach Koneko that first second level ability, but the second is sort of not that important.

There's much better things to teach her instead of a mere extra two-slash-four minutes of Touki usage.

A grin crosses my face as I slowly rise from my bed, arms stretching out over my head as I leave the room Rias gave me.

I made it very clear that they should respect my privacy, plus it's an item that's disguising me, so I don't have to worry about much even if they don't.

I can't wait to see the absolute hell I'm going to unleash upon Riser's peerage.

So much has changed from canon that isn't a result of my direct worldly alterations... Rias doesn't have Asia for one... but she has fem Saji instead of Sona... and she's her second knight.

All she has left is one pawn and one bishop...

Judging by this new training quest I've gotten, 'Canon' quests are a LOT more valuable than the quests I got before... I mean, the thing with RAYNARE of all people managed to get me two thirds the amount of electrum the quests that took TWO YEARS gave me.

And judging by all these objectives, this quest's rewards have the potential to be far far higher.

Riser's probably already fucked. I'm getting Akeno to use her holy lightning and getting Koneko to use Senjutsu, Touki, and Youjutsu.

But I'm going to push these bastards as hard as I can for that sweet, sweet profit.