Post-Run Gaze (Patreon)

After another excruciating training session, I find myself standing outside my own home, gazing at the backyard of the house across the street. Cheryl and I have become good friends since we started running together, and today she has joined me on my customary post-jog cool down. As I flex my sore muscles, she is chattering away about her latest triathlon timings.

"It was a tough one, Mattos," she pants. "But I managed to shave off a few seconds."

But her words float past me like wisps of smoke. My attention is monopolized by the sight across the fence—Alice diving into her backyard pool with an easy grace that leaves me breathless. Her swimsuit clings to her body, revealing curves that cause a heatwave to sweep through me even though my body is still cooling from the run.

Never before have I seen someone swim as though they were born for it; every stroke she makes is fluid and poetic. It's hypnotic to watch.

"Mattos? Are you okay?" Cheryl waves a hand in front of my face, pulling me from my trance.

I jerk back to reality so fast that it leaves me feeling dazed. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine."

She looks at me skeptically but doesn't question further. Thank God.

As we head back towards my house, my gaze lingers on Alice. She looks so carefree, immersed in the water as though all her problems have dissolved away. If only it were that simple.

I've always enjoyed our friendly chats across the garden fence or in passing on the street, but recently... I've begun to feel something more. Something that has kept me awake at night, tossing and turning as my mind races with thoughts of her.

There are times when I want to express how I feel boldly, like most men do—those who always have a way with women. But then I remember I'm not like most men, and instead, the confessions stay choked up inside me, too scared to tumble out.

I can't help but wonder if she has ever thought of me as more than just her neighbor—the obsessive jogger with a dog named Raccoon. Sometimes I see a glimmer in her eyes that suggests maybe, just maybe, she might. But then I remember how much she has been through with Barlow, which was a complicated relationship, and I retreat into my shell again.

My mother's voice rings in my ears constantly, asking me when I'll settle down and give her grandchildren. But every time she asks, all I can picture is Alice. Alice with her shining smile and captivating eyes. Alice who makes my heart race faster than any triathlon ever could.

I glance back one last time before heading inside. Alice, still swimming, hasn't noticed my lingering gaze—or if she does, she gives no sign. A pang of longing thunders through me but I push it down.

"See you tomorrow at the usual time?" Cheryl interrupts my thoughts.

Absently, I nod. "Yeah... sure."

Tomorrow will be another day; another run; another chance to maybe tell Alice how I feel. Or perhaps another day spent in silent longing.

Either way, it'll just be another day of living next door to Alice—the woman who has captured my heart without even knowing it.