The Záchari & Nik Show - Episode 7 (FINALE) - Right Where I Want Him (Patreon)

Here it is, the final episode of The Záchari & Nik Show. I thought that showing you the true forms of the faeries would be a fun note to end on, I hope you like them!

Thanks again to Adam for collaborating with me on this side project, I enjoyed it a lot and I hope we'll get to do more collabs like these in the future.

Right Where I Want Him

Short story by Adam Lunter

Zachari always thought that the Ero Faerie Council meeting was nothing more than a gripe session governed by Robert’s Rules. He sat at the furthest corner of the conference table with his feet on the tabletop, twisting his lollipop in his mouth and waiting for it to be over.

Every month it was the same damn thing. King would sit at the head of the table recognizing each faerie who had something to report in terms of the progress they were making with their human. He would let them have their three minutes and then punctuate their report with suggestions on how to improve. At the end, he’d repeat the regular reminder of how important it was to build up their forces as the situation with Eris was getting critical, then adjourn it with the bang of a gavel that was as big as he was.

Cheri, as usual, spent his three minutes bitching about how Finn had forgotten his phone in his locker at work again and had been forced to subsist of Funions until Finn woke up and realized he was missing something. Dozens of other faeries who were practically begging King to vouch for them so that Eros would give them any assignment rolled their eyes while Cheri whined. Zachari did the same to keep form, but inside was a mounting sense of urgency.

He’d been trying everything to get that intractable punk Nik to listen to him and learn something, but instead they would end up butting heads. He’d almost grown to hate the human probably as much as the human appeared to hate him, but then there would be times he would see the man grappling with a nightmare as he slept and would feel such a huge amount of empathy that it would overpower his frustration and he would renew his resolve. He could tell that Nik had a good heart and was capable of great things, but his lack of trust was the obstacle. If only he knew how to get around it. If only one of these fluffy fuckers at the table would tell him how to get around it. But he’d no more ask for their help than he would ask Eris herself for a hug and a kiss. Somehow he’d have to muscle through, but it sure was getting tiresome.

“Thank you, Cheri,” said King, tapping the desktop bell that finally ended Cheri’s caterwauling. “Do try to remember that your human has now successfully defeated two of Eris’ Heartbrokens and currently has one of the higher success rates of the Cabaret Bara boys... after Alek, of course.” He closed his eyes and turned his nose to the air as he said the last part, not so subtly reminding the whole group whose faerie he was. 

“And now the Chair recognizes Zachari. Please give us your report on your progress with Nik’s education.”

I’m fucking it up royally! screamed the voice in his mind.

He sniffed derisively and pulled the lollipop out of his mouth. “I’ve got him right where I want him,” he grunted before popping his sucker back in his mouth and closing his eyes.