Never Fade Away: A Metal Soul Of Rage And Fear (ch. 10) (Patreon)

Dr. K lived in a rather nice apartment in Watson. The district of the city was, by any measure, an absolute mixed bag of what you would find almost street by street. There were blocks that were completely impoverished, more so than one would normally see in Night City. However, in those same blocks, there could be an apartment building that offered upscale apartments for outlandish prices.

The building itself was ID locked, meaning that without getting through some rather hefty ICE, it was impossible to get past the lobby. The roof was a possibility, it acted as a landing spot for flying cars. A popular one given that walking out of the building into the streets was an excellent way to get robbed and murdered. Security was tight on the roof, the guards or the owner knowing that it was a weak point -- several security cameras and the same ICE was used at the roof door as it was for the front door.

That being said, it had weaknesses. Like people. People were always the weaknesses in security. The building itself had thick ICE, but the person at the front desk would have average civilian-grade ICE if they had any serious hacking countermeasures at all. Civilian-grade ICE was only good for discouraging a hacking attempt rather than preventing one. The apartment took countermeasures of course -- the apartment employees only got temporary access to use the elevator, and only when needed.

A decent precaution, but not one that would stop a motivated Netrunner. And I was very motivated.

And patient. I could have gotten in on the first day, but I held off. I prepared -- the Skeleton Key chewed through the ICE until I had admin-level access to the subnet. I considered the likelihood of this being a trap. I had no idea who was watching Dr. K in addition to me or if there were any flags in the apartment systems that would get tripped on accident. For an entire week, I watched the building carefully, posted up in an abandoned building across the street, and my patience paid off.

“V,” I muttered the name under my breath, spotting the red-headed woman as she arrived from a flying car, getting out of it. She was dressed in a silky red blazer with a black dress shirt, black pants, and dress shoes. Despite how tightfitting the outfit was, she had at least three knives on her from what I saw and a slight bulge under her arm hinted that she was carrying a pistol. Watching her approach the elevator through a smart scope, I noted that her expression seemed bored. Irritated.

Then the elevator doors closed. Glancing at my computer that was tapped into subnet of the building, I saw that V was going down a single floor. Penthouse floor. Dr. K’s penthouse apartment. Watching V through a security camera, I saw her physically will a friendly expression on her face just before the doors slid open. I cycled through a subnet within the subnet to grant me a view of the hidden security cameras within the apartment to watch and listen in on the exchange.

“Dr. Whalters,” V spoke, her voice smooth. “You wanted to see me?” If she felt annoyed getting summoned like a dog, then V kept it out of her tone. A camera installed in the kitchen light gave me a decent view of the conversation. Dr. K looked different. Well, not really, but I had never seen her in anything other than a lab coat. Now, she wore a white dress shirt, a vest, and a business skirt along with a set of high heels.

“I wanted an update,” Dr. K spoke in a clipped tone that I recognized. She used it on us a lot. Usually, it was accompanied by an order to stop fidgeting or to focus. “It’s been a month and I’ve heard nothing from you, the agent that's supposedly tracking down our property.” Dr. K continued and I twitched at the word. My blood felt like it was getting hot… I recalled what it was like to smash her head open on the floor with a little too much fondness.

Given that a month later and Dr. K looked no different after I had bashed her skull in and ripped some implants out of her, I think I might need to look into a Trauma Team subscription.

“Whoever took the item is cautious. The suspect has gone to ground, but he remains within the city,” V responded, her tone decidedly even. I wasn’t entirely clear on what her mission was. Arasaka was looking for me, but as far as V seemed to know, her mission was to recover what I stole -- the Element Zero implant. “We’re making progress and establishing a pattern of movement and sightings. We’re closing in on him as we speak.”

“You said that a month ago. Forgive me, I was led to believe that Arasaka intelligence was supposed to be competent,” Dr. K snarled, but her voice was laced with an edge of fear. Fear that V picked up on while the insult washed over her like it was nothing. I couldn’t tell if V was lying or not. Some of what I saw on her terminal told me that they were tracking me. The points of interest that I screenshotted lined up decently with the map of gigs that I went on. Barely a third of them, but enough to draw suspicion.

I hadn’t done any since I worked with Kiwi, so I should be throwing them off the trail with my inactivity.

“It is our belief that you can no longer be considered a target,” V informed, her voice cold as Dr. K flinched back ever so slightly. Her expression tightened, her lips thinned, and I could tell that she didn’t believe that. For good reason. I was coming for her. I was just playing my cards right to make sure that it went off without a hitch. “The thief has offered no hint that he would be coming after you and from the reports you’ve given me, he still has no reason to. Unless he might?” V questioned, fishing for information.

Huh. Arasaka was hiding what the orphanage was from her. I’m not sure if she didn’t have all the details, or she just hadn’t connected the dots.

“You’re wrong,” Dr. K stressed through clenched teeth. “Until you apprehend him, I’m in no way safe. He will be coming after me for the information that I possess on the item.” She continued, lying through her teeth but twisting the truth.

“I expect you are still refusing to tempt him to come out of hiding? With Arasaka security detail, you wouldn’t be in any danger-” V started, but Dr. K was already shaking her head.

“Absolutely not,” Dr. K hissed, her nostrils flaring. “Before I was savagely attacked, I was assured that you’d have him within the end of the week. Or that I was perfectly safe to begin with. No, I won’t be taking any of your assurances. As a matter of fact, I’d like it if you left.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Dr. Whalters,” V said, not sounding that sorry at all before she offered a small polite bow before she headed straight back to the elevator. “We’ll remain in touch,” she added just before the elevator closed and as soon as it did, V rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Dr. K, on the other hand, crumpled and placed her face in her hands. I watched her for a moment, feeling absolutely nothing for the woman other than contempt.

V reached the top floor in a few seconds, and the last thing that I heard from her was, “What an absolute waste of time.” She sounding rather annoyed by it too. Good. Based on all the evidence, she felt that Dr. K was a dead end. And someone that was lying about why I might be coming after her. Given that this was her first arrival in the week that I had been watching her…

I gave Rebecca a ring. “Yo, L, what’s going on choom?” Becca questioned through what sounded like a mouthful of food.

“That thing we talked about? It going on tonight. You still in?” I asked her and I heard Becca swallow hastily.

“Couldn’t keep me away even if ya’ tried.”

…

“You sure you just want me on this?” Becca questioned, looking up at me as we strode to the front of the building in the dead of night. Becca had her shotguns strapped to her back and in one hand was an assault rifle. Despite her size, she was packing enough firepower that if anyone did pay us any attention, they knew better than to look twice.

I was sure. “Don’t need to bother the others about this,” I muttered. That was a lie. I felt it deep down. The others… I think they would try to stop me if I lost my cool. Becca, on the other hand, wouldn’t. If anything, she’d encourage me.

Becca offered a shrug and I looked at the security camera in front of the building and activated a program that I buried in the subnet. The cameras to the elevator, lobby, and Dr. K’s room just went on a loop that I had cut well in advance for this. We had hours before someone would notice that the cameras were on a loop, if anyone was even bothering to watch. Because of it, we strode through the front door and to the elevator across from us.

The elevator door opened and I pressed the penthouse floor. Becca snuck a glance at me, like she was trying to wonder what was going on in my head. It was only then that I realized that my foot was bouncing in place in anticipation. Stilling myself, I looked through Dr. K’s security cameras to see that she was still in bed, completely asleep. As the elevator came to a stop, I killed the security alarms, allowing us to enter silently.

The apartment was upscale -- there wasn’t a single door in the whole penthouse. Open kitchen with modern appliances, wide open living room that had a piano off to one side, a dining area that was marked with a large table, and finally the bedroom. Darkwood floors, light red walls, and a stark white ceiling. Everything was covered in a layer of darkness, and my footsteps were near soundless as I approached the bedroom.

Dr. K almost looked like a different person in her sleep. Vulnerable too.

I didn’t have the connection to her OS anymore, meaning that we had to do this the hard way. Breach was sent out, hitting her systems. The vulnerability had been patched over, but I was a much better netrunner now than I had been last time. The patch was peeled away, allowing me to slip inside her systems undetected -- the first time, I only managed to breach through the first layer of her ICE. Now, however, I delved deeper. The daemon worked through her countermeasures in no time, allowing me to see her list of implants and, more importantly, allowing me to interact with them.

The panic button she installed was snipped and rendered useless. It was only then that I loomed over her and woke her up by grabbing her by the throat.

Dr. K woke up with a gasp, her hands going to mine around her throat, eyes snapping wide enough that they nearly fell out of her head when she saw it was me. I saw her instantly go for the panic button, smashing it, and her eyes filled with even more fear the moment she didn’t get a response. “Disabled your safety measures,” I snarled at her, dragging her out of the bed and throwing her to the floor.

“Oh, god- L- please,” Dr. K scurried away from me until her back hit a glass wall. Her expression was one of pure terror and her face twisted like she was about to start crying. A tear did slide down her face when I pulled the Nue pistol from my harness.

“That’s no good, Dr. K. Good subjects don’t cry. They face what’s ahead of them with their head held high,” I snarled at her, jabbing the gun under her chin to force her to look at me. Hate filled me. It was something dark and ugly and violent. Something that couldn’t be quantified or described in any meaningful way because words fell dreadfully short. It took every ounce of my willpower to not curl my finger around the trigger because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from pulling it.

I didn’t care how much I needed her. I wanted her dead. I wanted her rotting in the fucking dirt. I couldn’t live in a world that still had her in it. She needed to die. I had to kill her.

“Remember that little line? I kept my chin up, Dr. K. When you were carving me up like a fucking lab rat, I kept my chin up,” I snarled, my face twisting into an expression of utter contempt. “I waited and plotted to get out and now I am.”

Dr. K swallowed thickly, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Holding up her hands, she pleaded with her eyes, “L-L? I-I can help you. I k-know that all of this must be extremely confusing for you -- Night City c-can be a lot for anyone, but for someone as sheltered as you… I can help you-” I jammed the gun up, forcing to crane her head back and my heartbeat thundered in my ears. “We were trying to help you-” She tried to get out.

I pistol-whipped her. Slamming the edge of the gun against her face in a swipe because if I didn’t, then I was going to pop her top. She cried out and pressing the gun against the side of her head, I forced her to look at the ground, “You helped me?! You treated me like a fucking animal! You stole us away, raised us in that fucking room so we wouldn’t understand the evil shit you were doing. One by one, I watched everyone I cared about die. Because of you. You fucking helped me?” I snarled, gnashing my teeth as she whimpered.

“Your name!” Dr. K cried out, thinking that she saw a lifeline. “Y-Your name! I know it. Your name is John! You’re John Shepard!”

“I don’t care!” I shouted, my throat feeling raw from the force of it. “You took that from me too! I’m L!”

Dr. K was nearly hyperventilating, still desperately clinging to whatever she could. “Your parents! They- they could still be alive. I can help you find them. I just need access to my files and I can help you find them, so please just… just don’t kill me. I can help you. Please don’t kill me.” By the time she was done, her chest was heaving with a sob, tears flowing down her cheeks. So unlike the woman that I grew up with. The one that always seemed perfectly in control and you had to jump over the moon to get a hint of approval from her.

I used to jump over the moon. Just for a good job. Or a nod of acknowledgment. Or the slightest of smiles. It had meant everything to me.

“I. Don’t. Care,” I bit the words out. I was ignorant of the world, but now I was wiser. Either my parents were dead, they gave me away, or the orphanage killed them to prevent them from coming after me. They didn’t matter. I didn’t need to be anyone's child. I was me. That was enough. “But you will tell me what I want to know. Is M still alive?” I asked her, withdrawing the gun so she could look at me. I wanted to see her eyes to see if she was lying to me.

She offered an incredibly shaky nod, “He- He is! He’s alive and so is A-” The gun came back in an instant.

“I saw A die,” I uttered through clenched teeth.

“Trauma Team brought him back! Like they brought me back!” Dr. K protested and my breath was caught in my throat. “The only one that died that day was Daniel. I… I told him that he should invest in a subscription. The only reason the corporations haven’t come after us is because it’d tip the others off that they were testing something worthing taking us out for.” She was rambling, but I didn’t care. It was all in one ear and out the other. A was alive. He was alive. For the briefest of seconds, the hate was forgotten and replaced with nothing but pure relief.

A was alive. M was alive. I wasn’t the last one. Could R… no… no, he was dead. If he wasn’t, then Dr. K would be throwing the information at me to save her own skin.

“How?” Dr. K questioned, looking up at me with eyes brimming with fear. “How did you get out? We reviewed all of the footage, but we don’t know how you managed to figure it all out.”

“I’m asking the questions,” I shot back. “Element Zero. What do you know about it?” I asked her, and the blood just drained away from her face and she started to tremble. Dr. K shook her head, jaw-dropping, but nothing came out of it. “Answer the question.”

“I-I can’t,” Dr. K stressed. “They’ll-”

“I’m going to kill you,” I cut her off, making her flinch. “The only reason I am not painting the fucking walls with you is that you’re useful to me. The moment you stop being useful? Be a good subject and answer the question, Dr. K,” I echoed a phrase at her.

She swallowed thickly, “You’ll kill me. Y-you’ll paint the walls. With me.”

“Well done, Dr. K. Element Zero. What the fuck is it?” I questioned, my tone sharp and as deadly as any knife. Dr. K took a moment to compose herself, licking her lips as she looked at the walls as if they might have ears.

“It’s a new element on the periodic table. I don’t know much about it beyond that it was found on Mars and Militech, Arasaka, Biotech, and Aero-Space are all in an arms race over it. It's- it’s why we brought A back. He showed promise with it,” Dr. K elaborated and I promised what I heard. “It’s like nukes and the Cold War all over again - every weapons dealer on the planet wants to be the first to weaponize the element, because it's powerful. You saw it. Gravitational manipulation, and that's just the tip of the iceberg, theoretically-”

I saw between the lines, “How many are dead?” I cut her off, making her flinch. “How many have died in those experiments since I’ve been gone.”

“Only six! That day was the worst of it, John- L, I promise,” Dr. K stressed like her word meant a single thing to me. Six. Six died since I’ve been out in the world.

“Is that in all of the dorms?” I pressed, my tone daring her to lie. She froze and that told me all that I needed to know. The megacorporations were treating them like lab rats and in their haste weaponizing the new element. Gravity manipulation was just the iceberg, huh? I wondered what else it could do… I wonder what I could use it for? I hadn’t slotted it in since I took the damn things out, but maybe I could do something with it. “How much are they paying you, huh? How much are our lives worth to you?” I snarled the words out and Dr. K refused to meet my eyes.

She swallowed thickly, “Five million.”

I sucked my teeth, indignant. Five million? For every one that died and stayed dead that day? Five million for R? That was too little. That wasn’t nearly enough. Five billion wouldn’t be enough. Five trillion either. That… No. I had to focus. I couldn’t go on tangents. I needed to get information and set this up perfectly. Dr. K was going to be my trojan horse, whether she wanted to be or not.

“Night City’s Home for Wayward Girls. Is that you too?” I questioned her and, very slowly, Dr. K nodded. I saw that she wanted to ask a question, but she swallowed them down. Good. I was here to get answers and nothing else. “Do you have access to it?” Another slow nod was offered. Good. That simplified things a bit. I could use her to get everyone out if I played my cards right but it was going to be a huge task.

Especially if Arasaka, Militech, and Biotech really came after us. They brought A back from the dead just because he managed to not die from the Element Zero experiments. Not impossible. It couldn’t be impossible. It would just be difficult, but difficult I could manage.

“The girl's home… I… if you… if you promise to let me live, then… then I can tell you something. Something about it,” Dr. K tried, desperate but there was hope in her eyes. That caught my attention. Whatever she had, she thought it was enough to convince me not to kill her.

I was curious. In response, I jerked her head to the side and jacked into her neural port, and forced a download through her already breached systems. It wasn’t exactly malware, exactly. It was forcing her systems to give me admin access from her implants to her OS. I would be able to see through her eyes and hear through her ears. Just like she had held a gun to my head, I had one to hers.

“Talk,” I jacked out, and Dr. K was trying her hardest not to cry. She wasn’t in a position to bargain and now I didn’t need to pull a trigger to kill her. Again. All the while, I ran system checks through her to test my admin access.

“Militech. One of the girls showed… extreme proficiency with Element Zero. Unlike anything we had ever seen. Everyone else is struggling to move blocks and she’s started throwing around Militech Minotaurs like they’re nothing. Half of what we know about Element Zero is based on what Subject Zero can do. And Militech is… adopting her,” Dr. K cringed at the word even as she said it.

I heard what she was getting at. “She’s going to be outside of the orphanage,” I voiced, earning another slow nod as my system checks continued. It was something. It was a start. But one problem -- it smelled like a trap to me. “Why would they do that? Why wouldn’t they keep her in the orphanage?”

Dr. K hesitated for a moment, as if uncertain how to answer. “The orphanage… is a neutral ground for corporations. Night City is independent and free from any government oversight, which makes it a popular place to test cutting-edge technology that may be seen as… less than legal. The orphanage in particular is neutral. We operate in secrecy and discretely, preventing corporate espionage that may be prevalent in their own RnD divisions. And all of the children are… special. You… L, you’re special. You’re in the one percentile when it comes to adaptability with implants. Everyone in the L group has high capability with implants.”

It didn’t quite line up with what Lucy told me, but Lucy admitted some of that had been guesswork. That answered part of my question, but it gave me enough context to answer the rest of it.

“This girl tested strongly enough that Militech wants to experiment on her in-house,” I voiced and Dr. K nodded. “When?”

“I don’t know- I know it's soon. I-I can tell you when it happens,” she added, grasping at straws to save her own skin. My mind raced -- should I try to free Subject Zero? It would tip my hand. Especially with Militech, that thought that I was dead. It would make things more complicated. I knew that. However, despite all the trouble the action would bring, I knew what I was going to do. I didn’t have it in me to do nothing. Not when I knew what fate was in store for her.

But, before I could respond, my system check found something. Something subtle. Something that I almost missed, but once I found it, it was utterly unmistakable what it was.

A backdoor.

I wasn’t the only one in Dr. K’s system. Instinctively, I pinged off of the backdoor and I immediately was greeted with ICE. Arasaka ICE. Fuck. Fuck. Who- no. That was a stupid question. The question was, what was I going to do with this knowledge? Fuck. V was counter-intel and from what I read about her file, she wouldn’t let something like this by. She was seeking a promotion, gunning for it. That… that, I could use that. I could use this.

I couldn’t take on a Militech convoy, or whatever they were going to use to get her out. Even if I dragged David and the others into this, it may not be enough. However, Arasaka? They absolutely could take on a Militech convoy and all I had to do was get the girl out during the chaos. Wouldn’t be easy, but it was possible.

That did just leave one problem. One that I had to solve quickly. Making a snap decision, I brought up a phone number and pressed call. The phone didn’t finish its first ring before the other end picked up.

“How did you get this number?” V questioned on the other end, my hunter and I speaking for the first time.

“I’m a resourceful guy,” I answered, my tone terse. “Enjoy the little show through Dr. K’s peepers? It was probably rather enlightening given you didn’t even know what you were hunting.”

“Is there a point to this dialogue?” V questioned, her tone terse and curt. “No sudden movements. I’ve had your head in a crosshair since the conversation began.” V informed me, and I’m not sure if she was lying or not. My eyes scanned the window in front of me, searching for where a sniper could be found, but it wasn’t easy in the dark. Especially when she could be using a power or smart sniper.

There was a point. I needed her to back off. Otherwise, Dr. K was completely compromised as an asset and my  plan to break everyone out would be too. “Because I have something that you’re going to want. Something that’ll convince you that you’re better off forgetting that this conversation ever happened.”

I heard V chuckle on the other end, “Alright. I’ll bite. What do you have for me?” V questioned, her tone light, but I knew I had her attention. I did have her phone number, after all. I knew that she was hunting me.

“First off, I’d like to point out that you didn’t know what you were hunting. Now you know. I’m not going to appeal to your better nature, because I doubt that you have one. Instead, I’m appealing to your sense of self-preservation -- you know about something top secret, and your bosses are absolutely the type that’ll flatline you for knowing too much,” I started, my mouth moving as fast as my mind. There was a beat of silence from V on the other end, and I knew she knew that I was right.

“Secondly?” V prompted.

“Secondly, I have some insider info about your career prospects. Or the lack thereof, if you don’t start making some moves,” I responded, keeping my words vague. If I didn’t have her attention before, then I’m guessing that I had it now. “That advice? It’ll cost you two things -- you forget that we were here. Feel free to kick the info about the transfer up the chain. I’d recommend you do it after you make a move though, otherwise… won’t be much of a point.”

Another telling silence. “The second thing it’ll cost me?” V questioned, an edge in her tone.

“Safe passage. You’ll get it when I believe we’re out of sight and out of contact,” I responded, the edge in my voice matching hers.

“Deal,” V answered far too quickly. She was planning to betray me. However, I also had an ace up my sleeve. Dr. K hadn’t seen Becca, so V should have no idea that she was here. “Stay on the line.”

I looked to Dr. K, and I saw the hope in her eyes. The desperation. She thought that she was going to live through this. She thought she was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. A hope that she had denied so many of us. So many that came before me and everyone that I had to leave behind. No. She didn’t get to have that hope.

“Fine,” I answered, taking aim with my gun, giving Dr. K just enough time to register what I was about to do.

“No- do-” Dr. K started before her head snapped back, splattering blood and brain matter over the glass wall behind her. My lips peeled back in a snarl, squeezing the trigger again and again, pumping bullets into her and making the sound of gunfire ring out in the open apartment. Six shots to the head and the rest to the chest. Her body went limp, the only sound in the apartment was my finger curling around the trigger.

That, I realized, was a murder. I’ve killed plenty of people but there was always a reason for it. They were in my way, or it was the job -- everything I could justify by saying it was to get the other kids out of the orphanage. This? This felt different. I didn’t kill Dr. K because she was in my way. I didn’t kill her because she was already compromised and her presence could complicate breaking everyone out of the orphanage.

I murdered her because I couldn’t accept that she was still alive. I couldn’t live in a world that had her in it.

And I don’t regret it.

Spitting on the corpse, I turned away and tucked the gun into the harness, heading back to the entrance. The apartment building initiated a lockdown, but I was able to subvert it thanks to my admin access. Becca wore a strange expression as she watched me approach, but I didn’t see anything but concern in her eyes.

Pressing a finger to my lips, I stepped into the elevator and rode it down with Becca. The security cameras weren’t seeing anything outside of the building beyond the average gangoons and bums. Stepping outside of the building, I looked up at the same vantage point that I spent the past week using to see that V did in fact have a sniper trained directly on me. I gave her a smile that was all teeth.

“Jenkins is done for. Best case scenario, he’s getting fired. Worst-case scenario, he’s getting executed for treason against Arasaka and he’ll take you all down with him. If I were you I’d kiss Abernathy's ass, because she’ll be the next director for special operations within Arasaka counter-intel,” I told her and I saw V wearing a frown on her face. Her finger was curled around the trigger and, for a moment, I wondered if she was going to shoot me. Then she moved her eye away from the sniper to look me in the eyes.

“You seem well informed,” V remarked.

“I am. Well enough to have dirt on Abernathy too. Maybe if you give me a reason to, I’ll spill it. For now, I’d recommend you do whatever you want with the information you just got. Deal?” I questioned, knowing that the first one was a formality to get me out of the building. I was stringing her along with the idea that I was extremely well informed about the comings and going of counter intel, because she had no reason to believe that I wasn’t.

I also imagine having dirt on your future boss would come in handy.

V made a show of lowering the sniper rifle, jerking her head for me to get lost. “I’ll be in touch, L,” she said, taking a step back from the ledge and vanishing from sight.

“You have some serious balls, L,” Becca said as we broke into a dead sprint. “I thought I was crazy. Turns out that I don’t have nothing on you.”

I hadn’t realized it yet… but Becca was more right than she knew.