My muse (Patreon)

So this is a shoot with my beautiful Kateryna. It is interesting that Katya fell into the period when I started thinking about sexuality, and I was interested in trying to shoot more openly. And I didn't voice it before the shooting, Katya just suggested it herself. Then it seems to me that this is my first more sexualized shooting of the muse. At least you can feel it from the Kates pose)

I will not say that I managed to fully convey her sexuality, but as it is.

And now about my thoughts at the moment

1) Due to the loss of a close person, I began to feel devastation inside, I felt the maximum vulnerability and as if I had lost support. It is so strange to me that all this was given to me by one person and this same person influenced me at such a great distance and even when we were separated. And in fact, if communication with this person did not continue, but I knew that he exists and lives his life, I would still feel this support and protection. A very strange insight. And what's even more interesting is that I realized that for some reason I still haven't been able to give it to myself. That I covered this need myself with the help of another person, which is not right. So my number one task after accepting and fully living the loss is to find inner support, support and protection within myself.

2) It is difficult for me to perceive Kyiv as it is now. Despite the fact that now it is incredibly beautiful - it is still warm, many people are walking around the city, summer terraces are working, street music is playing and in the evening it is pleasantly cool. It is beautiful, but the feeling of war is still present. And two desires are fighting in me right now - to stay in Ukraine and try to build my life in new realities, or to move to Europe (preferably to Poland), arrange my life there and forget about everything that happened before. I am haunted by the desire to forget everything that happened before the war and everything that happened during it. I was going through my things in the room today, I wanted to throw away old one and that one that I dont need already and every 5 minutes I came across some things (letters, photos, clothes, drawings that reminded me of that beautiful, happy, carefree life). I'm angry at the war, I'm angry at these almost two years that ruined the lives of many people... Many people who died only because of the war. I have the feeling as soon as I cross the border with Poland that everything that happened and is happening in Ukraine is just my dream and in fact life is beautiful - I forget about all the bad things. I'm just fooling myself.

PS. by the way, I just now realized that Katya is clothed in this shooting.... Still, my theory that the underwear in the photos sexualizes the model is still true.