My muse (Patreon)

 Kate 

I just arrived in Ukraine for a week. Now I remembered why I so rarely go here - and no, it's not because of the war. This is only because it takes me at least 24 hours to get to Kyiv from Barcelona (if transfers between transports are no more than 4-5 hours). During these 24 hours, I almost did not sleep, I was cold, I felt sick and my stomach was spinning from nervousness.  And finally I'm lying in my bed and I'm getting better. But to be honest, I'm already too old for that. My next trips to and from Ukraine will take 3-5 days. After each transport, I will give myself a night of sleep, a day of rest (maybe even two) and then continue on my way. Otherwise, I will die sooner than expected.

I took part in a workshop as a model for the first time the other day. It was nerve-wracking for me, as I was going to unfamiliar photo shoots, it was my first workshop, I was afraid to be on different vibes with photographers, and what's worse for me as a woman - I was afraid to be naked in a room with men I didn't know. Since I am writing you this post now, I am alive, I was not killed, I was not raped. These male photographers turned out to be very nice creatures - they were really creative, had ideas, showed what they were shooting with me and, of course, praised me) I was really tired both physically and emotionally, because I had never worked with several photographers at once ... But it was cool experience

Do not think that I am biased towards male photographers - this is not a generalization of photographers and this is not a generalized image of men. These are my phobias of male manifestations... due to the fact that I, as a woman, faced, let's say, psychological and physical violence from male strangers - I have these experiences and fears in any communication with men. And when I'm naked, I'm also the most vulnerable. I want to be open and trust everyone, but it's a difficult process for me

From today I start showing you my shootings with muses that I took in April in Kyiv. They will be both successful and not very successful... For example, this shooting with Katya was very inspiring. And everything was fine - the only thing I saw already in the process of selection and color correction was that Katya and I had different rhythms. She posed and changed quickly enough, and I usually work more slowly. So I just didn't finish a lot of the shots, they're kind of good, but could have been improved a little if I wasn't in a hurry to follow the model.