Selfportraits (Patreon)

I have always considered myself a heterosexual woman. 

Yes, I agree with the opinion that all women are bisexual - but in my entire life I have not felt a desire for the female sex. Yes, I talked to many beautiful women and since I shoot nude, I have access to the female body. But I never felt sexual desire or attraction to women. 

But recently, while walking in Barcelona, I went into a small shop, where I met a girl who was chatting with the saleswoman at the checkout (it seems that they were friends). She smiled, joked and danced to the music in the store. She had curly short brown hair, big dark eyes, plump lips, small tattoos on her arms and a charming smile. I stood looking at her and was so embarrassed. I was amazed by what was scrolling through my head - my brain had already modeled different options for getting to know her and possible options for the development of events, where and how I would be stupid and where we would go for a walk next week 😆 . Now I understand these "stupid" looks and strange behavior of men in love... And of course I didn't come to meet her. My brain with stupid options won)

My thoughts after

- I didn't like the fact that I felt like a dominant girl, that I could play the role of a man in a relationship with a girl. And it's strange because I'm quite indecisive, not serious enough, uninitiative to be a man in a couple. And in general, I don't want to be dominant.

- in my opinion, a relationship with a girl is something more rosy and pleasant than a relationship with a man. And this also upset me - because after all, I am a heterosexual woman and I am dating a guy. And this opinion means only one thing that I am completely dissatisfied with my relationships with men (both former and current)

- and despite all this, I have no sexual desire for a woman. Hugs and kisses - yes, and something else, no. Although in reality I rarely feel this sexual desire with men. And maybe I feel it only because I know what will happen next, but I have no idea what will happen next with a woman.

I am disturbed by these thoughts.

So the question is - can I be considered a bisexual woman?

P.S. I hope it's still a safe environment for me to share my thoughts and not fear judgment or ridicule or rude comments. Thank you for "listening""