Selfportraits (Patreon)

Today, for the first time in a long time, I woke up feeling completely calm inside. This is the first time in almost two months. Although I'm safe for a month now. The feeling of "runaway" and anxiety did not leave me.

And you know this feeling is not my merit. It is the merit of people who support me and believe in me. Support with words, deeds, hugs) Thank you guys 🙏

Speaking about hugs. I am a very tactile person. My main interaction with people is touch. I always hug my friends for a long time. But now something went wrong. It makes me sick to the touch: even accidental. I have a feeling at this moment that something is threatening me - fear and a fast heartbeat. Even when my sister does it. The only person I approached to hug him was the man who helps me here in Spain. This is a man with a great mind and a deep heart. A person I have never met in real life and we have never had any online deep personal communication.

I don't know how I will feel when I touch my parents and friends when I return to Ukraine. But I am very afraid to feel the same fear as I do now

P.S. My first shooting after moving from Ukraine